help needed. | Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships

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Momena Khan

@angeleyesz

Senior Member

Posted: 13 years ago

its my first time writing here so ill give a short intro..

hi, my name is sameena and just turned 20 and come from a muslim family.

ive just been engaged a few months back. they live in india and im canada, so its all been fixed through the phone, nothing else has taken place. after all this happened, i became really close with a friend of mine, so close that im really starting to fall for him, hes loved me for a very long time and now im starting to feel the same way for him. i can clearly without doubt say that im falling in love with him and do not want to be engaged anymore. apparently the guy im engaged to is from within my relatives. i dont know what to do, all i know is i dont want to be engaged cuz im really in love with this other guy.. i know its wrong but love doesnt come without giving any warning, it jjust happens. i cant even imagine what my parents will do if i tell them. i just want to break this engagement 😭

..help? 😔

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t-mayur-sajan-j

@t-mayur-sajan-j

IF-Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

hey i understand, ur problem

even tough im younger than u i think that this is something that has to be tough about a lot, because taking any decision

this is a life decision

first of all, do both of u kno, that u love each other? this is something important that u need to think about, it shouldn't be a rushed decision...the main thing is do u two actually love each other nd not crush or attraction

second point is that, if u 2 love each other nd hav sed it each other, u hav to tell the one u lov about ur engagement, and he has to be ready to talk to ur parents in any way nd explain ur love, he shouldn't hesitate in any ways,

if he is ready for that, it wuld be hard but u hav to let ur parents kno that u wuld hav a good life with him, nd that u r wwant to break the enggemnt

this is something really hard so u hav to make the right desition to choose ur lover over the person ur parents vchose coz u hav to be 100% sure that ur lover is the obn that u wuld be ur whole life nd u never regret ur desition oof marrying him, nd not to hav chosen the boy ur parents showing.

this is also concerning ur parents pride, the image in the community, so u hav to keep that in mind while u talk to them, u hav to find the right moment to explain this to them

if u r close to ur mum, first let her kno or if u r close to ur dad, explain ur feelings, wat happened ect

just be careful on each of ur stepgud luck for ur future life

hop my answer helped

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Momena Khan

@angeleyesz

Senior Member

Posted: 13 years ago

thankyou very much for some advice atleast,, yes it helped thankyou. and as far as love is concerned with the both of us, yes we do love each other... he loves me off like mad, hes willing to make promises of any kind, and talk to my parents and whatnot. he also knows about engagement and despite that his love did not decrease in any way yet he finds ways of getting his parents to talk to mine after his graduation. i just dont know how to break it to my parents, cuz i come from a muslim family where love before marriage, or affairs with guys is not normally accepted which is why im having a hard time.. n as u said about talking to my fiance, yes i think i will give that a try first and he might understand but still they are our relatives, i dont want ppl to talk bad about the two families :(

i want to keep my parents respect and pride high yet i want to break my engagement because i fear i cannot be happy with him. and thats wht i dont know how to do

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