Joined: 22 June 2010
After tonight's "Gossip Girl," we were left with one burning question: why is Serena always late to class if she clearly never bothers showering in the morning? Does it really take that long for her to pick through her wardrobe of hotpants and neon bustiers and throw together an inappropriate outfit? We love Blair all the more for her reaction when Serena complains about her professor's negative reaction to her tardiness: "If only there were a device of some kind to keep the time!"
Beyond that retort, though, Blair is severely off her game this week. That's because Chuck has decided to audit classes at Columbia, purely so he can mess with her. (He got in by promising to donate a "Bart Bass Memorial Rotunda" to the university, which is a nice touch because Columbia really loves rotundas.)
And mess with her he does. Blair wants to become influential business professor Martha Chamberlain's TA, but Chuck beats her to the punch—then informs her that she's also being shut out of Chamberlain's class. Later, B tries to get in good with Chamberlain anyway by promising to set her up with a handsome suitor from Cyrus's law firm. Again, though, she's foiled by Chuck, who manages to waylay the lawyer with a room in the Empire and an escort. He embarrasses Blair further by sending a woman in the lawyer's place.
This Chuck-Blair battle ends up being something of a draw, since Chamberlain decides to swear off Columbia altogether after overhearing the pair outline their increasingly ridiculous schemes. Still, says Chuck, he's not through with his ex quite yet: "Whatever you want, wherever you want it, I'm going to be there to take it away from you. I won't stop until you have nothing." Blair responds that revenge won't make him happy; the only thing that would make him happy is her love, but he lost that when he slept with Jenny.
Her words, unfortunately, give Chuck an idea. He's last seen calling up the admissions office at Parsons, saying that he needs to speak with Tim Gunn about enrolling a new student: Jenny Humphrey. Wait, isn't Jenny still a senior in high school?
Serena, meanwhile, soon finds that she has bigger things to worry about than running behind schedule. Someone has leaked a false rumor to Gossip Girl, saying that S has an STI—and even though he's pretty sure the story can't be true, Nate lets evil Juliet talk him into getting tested.
To further complicate matters, Nate drags Dan along with him as moral support. Someone takes a picture of D at Student Health Services and sends that to GG. Vanessa then sees the snapshot and gets paranoid that her boyfriend and Serena slept together last spring.
Juliet, of course, is behind the rumor. She and her imprisoned associate—Ben?—are apparently plotting to bring S down and leave her with "nothing," just like Chuck wants to do to Blair. When J runs into Vanessa and V confesses her worries about Dan, the scheming Juliet sees a golden opportunity.
That night, at a party at Hamilton House, Juliet convinces Vanessa to nab Serena's clutch from the coat check. Then she tells Vanessa to peak at Serena's email, ostensibly so that she can find out whether or not she really did sleep with Dan. Upon snooping, V is relieved to find that her boyfriend has in fact been telling her the truth. Before she can return the purse, though, Juliet takes S's phone and sends out a salacious email from Serena's email account to Serena's English professor. In the fake message, Juliet has S promise that she will give the teacher sexual favors if he stops marking her late.
The professor, of course, just happens to be at the Hamilton House party. He must check his inbox pretty often, because when Serena approaches him later, Columbia's dean—who's standing with the prof, because she too has nothing better to do than attend glorified sorority mixers—informs her that she could be expelled for sending such an outrageous email.
Vanessa overhears everything, and she tells Juliet that they have to speak up and save Serena. J, though, ends up pining everything on Vanessa, and the evidence—S's phone is in Vanessa's purse, she had a motive, and so on—is so strong that everyone believes Juliet over V.
That night, a chagrined Vanessa packs an overnight bag and leaves Dan's loft to spend some time with her parents. Serena, meanwhile, goes to a bar to drown her sorrows. There, she's greeted by a familiar face: a guy from Blair's building that always steals her cabs, contributing to her lateness. Obviously, the two of them will start dating sooner rather than later. We're not too excited about the prospect, though; he's much too blandly good-looking. In fact, he bears a distinct resemblance to Trip, the Vanderbilt cousin Serena boffed last year. At least the girl has a type, right?
P Recap .....Easy J
Although Blair made it perfectly clear that Little J was no longer welcome in Manhattan after what happened with Chuck, Jenny is tempted by a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet Tim Gunn ("Project Runway"), which could be a game changer for her future. Meanwhile, Serena discovers something about her new boyfriend, Colin (guest star Sam page), that may put an end to their relationship just as it was getting good.
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