All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are fillin' up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
Ten year old Jordan sat
alone on the steps of the orphanage. It was six thirty on Monday morning. He
looked around at the people rushing by, in a hurry to get somewhere or the
other. He observed their expressions carefully. A lot of the people were
familiar to him... he saw them every day on their way to work or school. He could
not help but notice that they all looked weary somehow. They were caught in the
whirlwind of their daily lives and could not find a way to get out of it all.
They seemed to be running in circles, hardly achieving what they had dreamed of
for years. Every once in a while, Jordan would see someone with tears filling
up their glasses and a blank, empty expression on their face. Whenever that
happened, Jordan would hide his head in his arm in an attempt to drown his
sorrow. He did not want tomorrow to ever come. He wanted to stay like that
forever, without having to see anyone in pain. Most of all, he wanted the
sorrow to go away.
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
Jordan could not remember
a single good thing ever happening to him. He had been in the same orphanage
for as long as he could remember. He had no idea who his parents were because
they had abandoned him when he was just three days old. He did not even have
any dreams. Other children his age dreamed about playing basketball for the NBA
or being a pilot or a fire fighter. He felt a little funny and a little sad
when he realized that the dreams in which he saw himself dying were the best he
had ever had in his life.
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
If you were to ask Jordan
why he pleasured in dreams where he was dying, he would find it extremely hard
to pinpoint the exact reason why. All he would be able to tell you would be
that when he saw people running in circles all their life, never actually
achieving their dreams and being altogether miserable, he found it hard to
take. He thought of it as a mad world and that he felt he would be better off
dead, rather than to spend his entire life like those poor people who felt that
they had it all but in reality, had absolutely nothing at all that was worth it
in the end.
Children waitin' for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Jordan sat quietly in a
corner of the room. It was Max's birthday. Whenever someone had a birthday in
the orphanage, they had a cake and a present. Due to this, every single child
waited impatiently for their birthday to come so that for at least one day,
they would feel good and be made to feel the way that every child should. Jordan
always accepted his cake and present quietly. When the matron went away, he
gave his cake to the younger children and then took his gift and made his way
to a corner of the dismal courtyard. There, he took great pleasure in burning
whatever he had received as a gift. One time, it had been a sweater, another
time it had been a box of toy soldiers. He felt better when he saw it consumed
by flames. He was doing it a favor by letting it fade away from this mad world.
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me
Jordan sat on his bed,
looking back on his first day school. He recalled how nervous he had been
because no one knew him. He had gone straight up to the teacher and demanded to
know what his lesson was. In the instant that the teacher had looked
compassionately at him, he had gone berserk. He ran out of the classroom door,
pushing away kids and desks in his hurry to get away from her. In that instant,
Jordan had felt that the teacher could look right through him. The sympathetic
glance she had given him had terrified him. He did not want anyone to know what
he really felt. That was his secret and his alone.
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
That night, Jordan woke up gasping. As he recalled the dream he had, he let a smile flicker across his face. He had dreamed that he had met two men in an alley and when he would not give them his school bag, one of them had pulled out a gun and shot him straight in the heart. He remembered the excruciating pain he had felt in his entire body and he closed his eyes, reliving the pain. It had made him feel so good... so alive.
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world
Jordan sat in his corner of the courtyard. He was hidden from prying eyes there. He pulled out the one thing he had waited for months to come into his possession. With careful fingers and handling it as sweetly as one would a diamond, he held the bottle in his hand. It was rat poison. He had skulked outside the scullery for hours at a time, just waiting for a moment when the maid would leave the room. Today, she finally did. He slowly unscrewed the top and brought the bottle to his lips. He wanted to enjoy this as much as he could. He wanted to feel every bit of the pain that gnawed at his heart every second of every day finally leave his body. He took a big sip and immediately felt his throat burn furiously. Ignoring it, he took another sip and then another until finally the bottle was empty and he was lying on the concrete, his insides on fire. He smiled as he felt darkness engulf him. There was no more pain. And he was finally free of the mad world in which people ran in circles. His dreams had come true.
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