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Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

Mad World (Song fic)

chhilt IF-Rockerz
chhilt
chhilt

Joined: 07 January 2008
Posts: 6434

Posted: 19 June 2010 at 7:12am | IP Logged
Hey guys... so I tried something different with my writing this time... please let me know if you like it and feel free to point out any plot holes, spelling errors, grammatical errors or maybe just the fact that you don't like it :) It's a song fic set to Mad World by Tears For Fears. Though I much prefer Adam Lambert's version of it but that's besides the point :P



 

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are fillin' up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

 

Ten year old Jordan sat alone on the steps of the orphanage. It was six thirty on Monday morning. He looked around at the people rushing by, in a hurry to get somewhere or the other. He observed their expressions carefully. A lot of the people were familiar to him... he saw them every day on their way to work or school. He could not help but notice that they all looked weary somehow. They were caught in the whirlwind of their daily lives and could not find a way to get out of it all. They seemed to be running in circles, hardly achieving what they had dreamed of for years. Every once in a while, Jordan would see someone with tears filling up their glasses and a blank, empty expression on their face. Whenever that happened, Jordan would hide his head in his arm in an attempt to drown his sorrow. He did not want tomorrow to ever come. He wanted to stay like that forever, without having to see anyone in pain. Most of all, he wanted the sorrow to go away.

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had

 

Jordan could not remember a single good thing ever happening to him. He had been in the same orphanage for as long as he could remember. He had no idea who his parents were because they had abandoned him when he was just three days old. He did not even have any dreams. Other children his age dreamed about playing basketball for the NBA or being a pilot or a fire fighter. He felt a little funny and a little sad when he realized that the dreams in which he saw himself dying were the best he had ever had in his life.

I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

 

If you were to ask Jordan why he pleasured in dreams where he was dying, he would find it extremely hard to pinpoint the exact reason why. All he would be able to tell you would be that when he saw people running in circles all their life, never actually achieving their dreams and being altogether miserable, he found it hard to take. He thought of it as a mad world and that he felt he would be better off dead, rather than to spend his entire life like those poor people who felt that they had it all but in reality, had absolutely nothing at all that was worth it in the end.

Children waitin' for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

 

Jordan sat quietly in a corner of the room. It was Max's birthday. Whenever someone had a birthday in the orphanage, they had a cake and a present. Due to this, every single child waited impatiently for their birthday to come so that for at least one day, they would feel good and be made to feel the way that every child should. Jordan always accepted his cake and present quietly. When the matron went away, he gave his cake to the younger children and then took his gift and made his way to a corner of the dismal courtyard. There, he took great pleasure in burning whatever he had received as a gift. One time, it had been a sweater, another time it had been a box of toy soldiers. He felt better when he saw it consumed by flames. He was doing it a favor by letting it fade away from this mad world.

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

 

Jordan sat on his bed, looking back on his first day school. He recalled how nervous he had been because no one knew him. He had gone straight up to the teacher and demanded to know what his lesson was. In the instant that the teacher had looked compassionately at him, he had gone berserk. He ran out of the classroom door, pushing away kids and desks in his hurry to get away from her. In that instant, Jordan had felt that the teacher could look right through him. The sympathetic glance she had given him had terrified him. He did not want anyone to know what he really felt. That was his secret and his alone.

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world


That night, Jordan woke up gasping. As he recalled the dream he had, he let a smile flicker across his face. He had dreamed that he had met two men in an alley and when he would not give them his school bag, one of them had pulled out a gun and shot him straight in the heart. He remembered the excruciating pain he had felt in his entire body and he closed his eyes, reliving the pain. It had made him feel so good... so alive.


And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world

 

Jordan sat in his corner of the courtyard. He was hidden from prying eyes there. He pulled out the one thing he had waited for months to come into his possession. With careful fingers and handling it as sweetly as one would a diamond, he held the bottle in his hand. It was rat poison. He had skulked outside the scullery for hours at a time, just waiting for a moment when the maid would leave the room. Today, she finally did. He slowly unscrewed the top and brought the bottle to his lips. He wanted to enjoy this as much as he could. He wanted to feel every bit of the pain that gnawed at his heart every second of every day finally leave his body. He took a big sip and immediately felt his throat burn furiously. Ignoring it, he took another sip and then another until finally the bottle was empty and he was lying on the concrete, his insides on fire. He smiled as he felt darkness engulf him. There was no more pain. And he was finally free of the mad world in which people ran in circles. His dreams had come true.

 




Edited by chhilt - 26 July 2010 at 4:16am

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meggs--Angel.Nidhichip..Selena-Lauren._Ashy_-dhruviAbhayVakil_1992Arushi.Girl_2007muffins2wafflesChiinnu

muffins2waffles IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 11 September 2008
Posts: 12894

Posted: 19 June 2010 at 10:29am | IP Logged

That was really heartbreaking :) I loved how you explained his feelings in detail and it matched the song perfectly.

The ending was so sad :( But written really wel! Awesome work! Hug
chhilt IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 07 January 2008
Posts: 6434

Posted: 19 June 2010 at 10:39am | IP Logged
Originally posted by aishi.muffin

That was really heartbreaking :) I loved how you explained his feelings in detail and it matched the song perfectly.

The ending was so sad :( But written really wel! Awesome work! Hug


Aww thanks Aish! Hug I actually wrote this for WriDaNoJu and since it's only the first draft, please let me know if something's off LOL Ooh, did I tell you that I'm finally back on track? Big smile Okay so thanks so much for reading and commenting! I can trust you to be honest with your feedback so I'm glad it turned out well :D

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muffins2waffles

muffins2waffles IF-Sizzlerz
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Posts: 12894

Posted: 19 June 2010 at 10:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by chhilt

Originally posted by aishi.muffin

That was really heartbreaking :) I loved how you explained his feelings in detail and it matched the song perfectly.

The ending was so sad :( But written really wel! Awesome work! Hug


Aww thanks Aish! Hug I actually wrote this for WriDaNoJu and since it's only the first draft, please let me know if something's off LOL Ooh, did I tell you that I'm finally back on track? Big smile Okay so thanks so much for reading and commenting! I can trust you to be honest with your feedback so I'm glad it turned out well :D
 
 
Nothing's off, it's perfect! And that's good that you're back on track! Was it hard to write so much? No problem, of course I would read it :)


Edited by aishi.muffin - 19 June 2010 at 10:45am
chhilt IF-Rockerz
chhilt
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Joined: 07 January 2008
Posts: 6434

Posted: 19 June 2010 at 11:04am | IP Logged
Originally posted by aishi.muffin

Originally posted by chhilt

Originally posted by aishi.muffin

That was really heartbreaking :) I loved how you explained his feelings in detail and it matched the song perfectly.

The ending was so sad :( But written really wel! Awesome work! Hug


Aww thanks Aish! Hug I actually wrote this for WriDaNoJu and since it's only the first draft, please let me know if something's off LOL Ooh, did I tell you that I'm finally back on track? Big smile Okay so thanks so much for reading and commenting! I can trust you to be honest with your feedback so I'm glad it turned out well :D
 
 
Nothing's off, it's perfect! And that's good that you're back on track! Was it hard to write so much? No problem, of course I would read it :)


Thanks :) The only hard thing was that I'd write about 2 or 3k one day and then another 1667 words would pile up as well as the 1k or whatever was left over from the day before... making it more than 2k again and so on :P I swear I'm not going to fall behind a single day now... it makes it a living nightmare haha :P I'll PM you a pep talk that got me pumped up.. seriously it was amazing! :P

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muffins2waffles

-dhruvi IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 24 June 2008
Posts: 5465

Posted: 19 June 2010 at 11:29am | IP Logged
Awwww you made me tear up at the end. That was so heartbreaking and touchy. That was amazingly synced. I loved how the lyrics flowed so perfectly with the words. I love you're write style, it's very clean and easy to read and understand the first time. This was beautiful in a way. Awesome job! Keep writting things (maybe some on LOST or TVD in the future *winkwink*)
_Ashy_ IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 02 October 2008
Posts: 3420

Posted: 19 June 2010 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
Well written Chhilt...love the way you ended it.  Keep it up!
chip. Goldie
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Joined: 05 September 2008
Posts: 2455

Posted: 19 June 2010 at 1:25pm | IP Logged

OMG chhiit! I totally hate you for coming up with something that brilliant! I'm truly in tears at the moment! My vision is all blurry as I attempt to respond to this amazing piece of work! Now I wanna read all your literature that you wrote for the WriDaNoJu.... Email them to me, please... that way I'll be sure to find time! Plus, I totally agree with Dhruvi.... maybe you could come up with something related to LOST and/or TVD! I'm sure you'll enjoying working on it as much as we'd enjoy reading it.... :P

ALERT! Constructive Criticism Ahead!
 
there's just one problem.... a typo... you wrote... He recalled 'hw'* nervous he had been because no one knew him. *how 

PS: i am in love with these words.... so perfectly described... i can't help but re-read them again and again and again!

"In that instant, Jordan had felt that the teacher could look right through him. The sympathetic glance she had given him had terrified him. He did not want anyone to know what he really felt. That was his secret and his alone."  StarStarStar


PSS: I love you, chhilt! you're a genius.... i needed this.... thanx for the PM!  Hug

PSSS: I had to write all this! sorry if i embarassed you... being an older sister.... i sometimes tend to do it... but it's truly unintentional... Embarrassed

Edited by chip86 - 19 June 2010 at 3:34pm

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