maika apna ghar! - Page 3

First Previous

page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

kasturika ghosh

@kasturika_kashu

IF-Rockerz

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: AlmostHonest
Why can't a girls maika be her apna ghar? 🤔 She has lived there her entire life!!! So tomorrow if I get married my dad's house won't be mine??! 😕 how laaame!!! The place were I was born and brought up will become paraya but my new husbands place will be my apna? 😆 I am sorry I don't agree .. Forget the serial ... yeh sab purane zamane ki baatein hai.. beitiya parai hoti hai and all that crap ... Aaj kal yeh sab nahi hota hai ... atleast not where I come from! Everything my dad owns is mine!!!

🤣 gosh i dnt know why i cn NVR be angry on you....🤣

Quote

439193

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: AlmostHonest

Why can't both houses be her own? Why does maika have to become paraya??! 😕 Just coz she got married she can't call her dad's place her own? huh?! 😕 Why can't she be equally loyal towards both houses ... I really dislike this thing that we have in our Indian culture.. beti paraya dhan 🤢 How come beta gets to keep his own house but beti becomes parayi.. it sucks!

This can be stated otherwise too ...why can't both the houses be your husband's too ....if you are told to consider that your Sasural is your own home ..,then shud not your hubby too consider his sasural as his own home .....

.All right !! Now we consider your parent's house also as your husband's house ......and if you were to have a brother ...would he be pleased to see your mother fawning on him ... if you had a sister ,wud you be happy if your mother treated her husband more lovingly than yours [it is understood that there will always be a favorite one ] .. would you be happy if your husband asks for money ,just like he wud ask his parent's...would you be able to respect him in such a case !!

..it is part of growing up and realizing that the relationship is always evolving ,growing ,assuming different hues, ..but the bond underneath is UNBREAKABLE ...Your home will change ..but your bond will not ...that will always be YOUR OWN ..

and secondly ,this is not only prevalent in India ,it is prevalent in every culture ...flip thru the pages of history ..and you will realize that the princess of Denmark left her home to become the queen of England [She accepted England as her home ] ...if you chk the pioneer's history of America ..The girl alone or sometimes with a companion had to travel a long way to her future husband's family and get married there [without the presence of her family on this momentous day ] ...so is the case of egypt ,Arab countries ..etc

In the present day ..,where the social bond is weakening ...the breakdown of joint family and community has made the presence of nuclear family acceptable ...where you are not staying in your in-laws house nor in your parent's house ,,but you are living in your own space that you call your home !!

Quote

439193

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: rachna789

I just hate the gender social norms that limit me from doing anything I want to on my own.😡😡

When will it change??????? If ever!!!!! 😭

Rachna..

it is a limitation that we impose on our self ...the gender is not imposing it ...change will occur when we change ourselves and do not expect others to change for our sake

Quote

Aabray

@Preternatural

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

i want pratigya to b a dutiful wife at first.......then inshAllah..she'll giv her in-laws more importance than her maika......jus lyk wat komal is doing soo

Quote

439193

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: rachna789

I don't get it either and I equally detest this notion. 🤢🤢 Why can't it be both???? Plus, the whole name change thing.......that's another BS!!!! All these rules are made for oppression!!!

Name change is the first time for me too ......I've never come across it before ...so will not comment on it ..

All these rules were made for a reason ...although the reason's don't exist now ...we are still following it blindly without questioning it ??

Quote

439193

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: meerag

I agree with you. Why does a girl have to stop being loyal to her parent after marriage. If her parents are sick why can't she go take care of them. It is my mother who fed me as a child. She is the one that held me when I was sad. So why should I forget her just because I a married. Even now when I am worried about something it is my mothers voice that reassures me that I can handle it. So why should I not think that her home will always be a haven for me.

Meerg ;

one's parent's home will always your heaven ...it will always be your safety cocoon ,a place where you can shelter from storm .....

So why should I not think that her home will always be a haven for me.

As you put HER HOME will always be a haven for us ...but it will not be YOUR home !!

Quote

439193

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: AlmostHonest

I know its so bloody unfair!!! Why should a girl change her surname and why should she stop considering her dad's house her own? I always thought such things no longer exist but guess not ... 😲 Thankfully my parents are supercool ppl and would never dare call me paraya dhan 😆 My mom kept her maiden name and I am gonna do the same ... I like my surname better than my bf's lol I am not gona change it !! U don't change urs either we'll show them 😉

I know its so bloody unfair!!! Why should a girl change her surname

See ,in the earlier times..Women were married of far and wide or sometimes were just part of victor's good's .....So adopting the husband's house name ..,was a means of identification ,establishing yourself in the new community and letting the other member's of the clan know to which house you belonged ,whether you were an enemy or friend or a relative ...whether your status was higher than theirs ,lower than their's ...All these was established by a surname ...hence the importance of the SURNAME !!

Victory or empowerment is not achieved by merely not changing ur surname ....empowerment truly happens when you adopt ur husband's home and incorporate the good rules of your father's home and change the not so good rules of your husbands home ....and your efforts are appreciated and encouraged and accepted ...... and THAT acceptance will denote our POWER ...

Quote

shumshad parveen

@shumi.

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: nisha2010
@shumi.............i respect your pov............ even i respect my culture, my parents................but my education has taught me analysis................not to accept anything wrong.................many things in name of culture r misused............life has been good to us but its not that garden garden for everybody........ 😃

yaar...i don't know how far you are qualified.

1)i have done my double masters( in maths and physics),

2)by profession i am a school teacher and university lecturer too, i have taught and motivated thousands of teens

3) i am married too😃

forunately my qualification and experience never taught me the things what your qualification taught you. at least i am glad you respect your parent😊.here in canada teens less respect their parents ,don't respect their teachers.
finally one thing i want to tell you i am proud to be an indian and i will never degrade my culture no matter whether right or wrong...bas baath khatham😃

as i said these cultured were followed my indian goddess i would just like to quote my post here which i made it in other thread.

Originally posted by: shumi.

india is a county where sita maiya was born. we indian say ' jahaan ram ho tha hai wahi sita maiya ka Ayodhya hai. that is why when ram left his Ayodhya kingdom and went to the densed and dangerous forest for 14 years sita too went with him saying that 'jahaan mera pati hai wahi mera Ayodhya'.i agree krishna is not like ram and so pratigya.but for sure krishna has atleast one factor of ram that is 'except his wife sita ram never looked at any girl and so krishna'. but pratigya?...phew...i think it is disrespect to sita if at all i try to compare her with pratigya.

in the same holi country india it is painful to see women like pratigya

look at the beautiful pic of ram and sita living happily in a densed and dangerous forest!😊

Edited by shumi. - 13 years ago

Quote

shumshad parveen

@shumi.

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: AlmostHonest
Why can't a girls maika be her apna ghar? 🤔 She has lived there her entire life!!! So tomorrow if I get married my dad's house won't be mine??! 😕 how laaame!!! The place were I was born and brought up will become paraya but my new husbands place will be my apna? 😆 I am sorry I don't agree .. Forget the serial ... yeh sab purane zamane ki baatein hai.. beitiya parai hoti hai and all that crap ... Aaj kal yeh sab nahi hota hai ... atleast not where I come from! Everything my dad owns is mine!!!

when i read your post i remind my teen ages.when i am a teen i use to be far ahead of you.
1) i use to ask why only girls should go and stay in boy's house why not boys come and stay with us.
2) why girls parents should give dowry. even girls are also equally qualified, and they to go out and earn then why don't boy's parents give dowry to girls parents.
3)why only girls should wear the marriage symbol like mangalsutra,sindoor etc why boys don't have any thing to find out that they are married.i wish they should wear a big nose ring(nath...😆) to show that they are married etc etc.

but after married:
when i went to my sasural....i was shocked😲.it was hardly one fourth of my maika😭.my dad has two big bungalows,at a time we can park four cars,but my sasural has no parking area.
as i am the only daughter to my parent (no siblings) obviously both the bungalows are mine.but i am not interested in that.i left those asserts and came to canada along with my husband.

in my sasural except my mother in law nobody likes me.my mother in law likes me cuz my husband is happy with me(just like ammaji don't like prat cuz her son is not happy with her)

after marriage i use to die to go to my maika.as soon as i reach maika i will be extra excited,run around,eat my mom made favurite food,visit my friends,neighbours, go to movie etc etc.every think will be over in a week time. after a week i will start missing my sasural😭.

i don't know about others but for me:

saiyaan chhed dewe, nanad chhutki leve,

saas gaari deve, dewar samjha leve,

sasuraal genda phool😛😃😊

Edited by shumi. - 13 years ago

Quote

shumshad parveen

@shumi.

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: tanthya

It only proves that Pratigya has still not come to terms with reality ...is refusing to accept the truth ... even when Aarushi Asks pratigya :"Didi ,if SS comes to take you back , will you go ?" .

She will reply " even my heart is not willing to go there ,but Papa has said so ,ANd I have to go " not I want/will go !! ...what does this mean ,it means she never treated the thakur's villa as her home .....

when you subconsciously have not accepted that fact ,then one does tend to betray it unconsciously ..who knows ,Amma has picked up this tiny points and realizes that Pratigya dos not consider herself as the bahu of the house and quite predictably dislikes her

Pratigya lies ...only tragic part is she herself believes this very lie and is unaware of the false note of her statements ...

exactly😃

Quote

1 2 3 4 5 ... 11