Siddhant Riddhima
Riddhima stood frozen in the cool afternoon in the deserted basketball court...Silence pierced her ears as she heard nothing...the past moments she had spent with Siddhant flashed right before her eyes within an instants time
R:
Her memory wove an intricate detail of Siddhant's deep voice asking her if she still had loved Armaan or not... Armaan,..how that name meant so much to her once ..and now a burden... How could she tell Siddhant of what she felt when now he also wanted nothing from her
Siddhant watches from behind... a sole silent witness of Riddhima's sorrows... he could not hold her to comfort her..no she wasn't his... he couldn't leave her from his sight...she's imbedded in his mind... Riddhima had him by chains and nails for him no where to go
S:
"Riddhima..."
Her name echoed through the court as it always had in his mind, forever there ...they say sound never dies, it always renders throughout the universe through eternity... so was that of this name.. Riddhima...the only person who'd come by as a breeze into his life and left so many wounds still fresh from each cut that she pierced in him relentlessly, and yet he looked on with a smile
Riddhima's voice quivers from a certain fear, anger and pain all at the same time:
R:
" Siddhant, ...divorce...?"
She even questioned the reality of it now, even with the truth lying in her hands, she still asked him dismayed
S:
" Tumhari azaadi shayad tumhari khushi hai"
Siddhant lied, like he always had, he knew nothing of how to handle the situation of Riddhima's feelings towards him..Armaan or anyone else...he had lied about knowing Armaan's back, him meeting Riddhima at Pune, and everything else.. the only truth in any of this was the biggest one of them all that Riddhima failed to see every time: he loved her
R:
"tumne mujhse yeh sab discuss karna zaroori nahin samjha...? Bas karliya faisla!?!"
Now Riddhima raged with anger more than anytime before...more than when she had loved armaan, more than the fateful day of her seeing Armaan again.. more so because Siddhant had given her life..that was all he'd ever known to do..how could he leave her now
S:
"tumne yeh faisala khud bol diya tha Riddhima, tumhara javaab mujhe milgaya... kayi tareeqe se poocha, seede tarah se na sahi..par tumne kayi javaabon mein mujhe se kehdiya... tum Armaan se abhi tak pyar kati ho... tumhari zindagi mein humara saath yahan tak tha"
Hurt, even saying the truth with his own mouth and hearing it hurt Siddhant more than the thousands of daggers Riddhima had launched at him before their wedding day... that day Riddhima tried to kill herself.. and now today Siddhant's body is living while his heart slowly dies..not of anything Siddhant studied back in Med school..but of a broken heart...no one told him the diagnosis and prognosis of this... if there was any...
R:
"theek hai Siddhant, tumhe meri haar baat se shiqaayat hai na..?! jab meine yeh rishta aage bardhana chaha toh phir tum peeche murdh gaya, aur ab yeh naubat aagayi ke tumko divorce lena zaroori pardh gaya Siddhant...? mein tumhare liye kuch bhi nahin..? jab man chahe haanth tham liya aur jab maan chahe ...... yeh?"
S:
"Armaan..."
R:
" Kal tha mera!! woh guzar gaya! mera aane wala kal tum ho Siddhant , sirf TUM! mein tumhe kaise yaqeen dilaaun ke..mein tumhare saath aage bardhna chahti hoon"
Again she went with this, Siddhant could no longer bear the anger..he wanted it to stop, more for her than himself..he swiftly grabs her tight by the shoulders and pulls her breaths distance near him
S:
"kyun saath dena chahti ho mera Riddhima?! KYUN?! kyunki mein tumhara pati hoon? kyunki humaari shaadi hochuki hai? yah phir apne dad ko saabit karana chahti ho ke tumne unhe dukhi nahin kiya..? iss sab mein tum kya chahti ho, yeh bhi bool gayi! aur tumhara kuch na bolna mujhe pagal kara raha hai ! Tumhari har khamoshi ka lafz mein dhoondta tha! Tum kuch na bol ke sab kuch kehdin..."
SIddhant feels the warmness of tears brimming at his eyes..not knowing if it was from his anger, or from the forever sadness that Riddhima will no longer be his.. it was in that moment he knew that this wasn't something he'd get over in months time, but rather a couple of lifetimes would maybe then ease the pain... but she'd never know..not now not then not ever...
RIddhima always stayed oblivious to SIddhant's feelings, wether it was towards his anger or even his love, she stayed a distance away from him, being a dutiful wife but afraid to come any closer... maybe she might fall in love with Siddhant... maybe... love always drives one mad, she had already felt betrayed before, the second hit she couldn't take..but now that Siddhant was already leaving her..why was she feeling hurt...betrayed..not by him..but by herself... she always thought if she closed herself enough no one could her hurt..all the while forgetting it was she whom she needed protection from..and Siddhant had done just that for her...he had protected her from others and even herself.. even when she didn't want to live he breated life in her again..he showered her with happiness and yet she pushed it away... away, so far away
Siddhant realised how tight hsi grip was getting on Riddhima but she never felt the pain, she only looked into his eyes and saw the millions of words he tired to say
Siddhant releases her from his grip like freeing her from all relations, he knew he wouldn't be able turn back..knowing if he did he wouldn't be albe to leave, forever enslaved in the wait for Riddhima's love
-X-
