Posted:
From Shashank to Sid-Riddz with love, disappointment and hope.
Dearest Sid and Riddz,
Have i ever told you both that you both deserve a standing ovation for giving me a master's degree in disaster management and damage control? Have i ever told both of you that I am the most clueless father and the most clueless father-in-law who comes to know of your roller coaster rides only after you both have rolled in the mud long enough? Sigh. I have never known what you both have been through and i cannot even pin-point that strange poignant connection that binds both of you - because i have not been around to see your journey - i have not been around to witness the tears , hugs and angst that you both share - but yes. I am a father - I am a man of age , experience and maturity that you both are yet to achieve - and above all i am a man with eyes that see, a heart that feels and a mind that thinks. Whenever both you call me for damage control , i see something in the eyes of the either of you which tells me not only what you have been through but also what you feel about each-other. Months ago , when i had broken down in front of you, Sid , a shattered father ashamed in the immature shenanigans of his daughter and his intern - horrified at how insensitive ego fights had tarnished your honour and my name - I had seen Siddhanth come out and stun me to my bones by saying that he will marry Riddhima - a woman he had only begun to like, a woman he didn't love and a woman who had a baggage that she herself could not handle. I still remember that numb clueless look in your eyes, Sid. You yourself didn't know what you were staking your life with but you only thought of Riddhima's honour and your self-punishment for having ruined her life. I still remember the lost-child look in Riddhima's eyes as she , as numb as you took your hand like a little girl for her father's sake and for the sake of family's honour. .....And now, am back again for my second round of damage control. But this time , it is not about family's honour - this time , it is about both of you.
The moment you clung to me , Riddhima , fighting your stinging tears and saying if i can stop Sid from divorcing you - i saw that your numbness was gone - your disturbing silence was gone - you were reacting and in that one moment i knew what this marriage and Sid is to you. Tomorrow, your cold defence may return , you may fight Sid's so-called rejection with a stern face but speaking eyes - but i saw what i had to see. Yes, my little girl Riddhima. Dad is going to make everything alright even if that means driving the points home to you in your language. I am going to teach you and Sid to live with yourself even if that means using the tool of asking you to live with the world.
My duty as a parent has always been to safeguard you , see you happy. I cannot live your life , my child but i can surely guide you when i see you approaching the cliffs. I don't know what you and Sid are thinking but what am going to make sure is that you both tell each-other what you are thinking. Marriage is not a joke and divorce is not a joke. As helpless as i am at this point with both you and Sid either emotionally numb or emotionally stung , I can at least make an effort for both of you to see where you both want to take this marriage - every marriage faces problems, even the most fairytale-ish ones. But people don't just get up and walk out only to sing 'If Only...' songs and parents do what they can to make their children see reason and realize that no matter how much crockery they throw at each-other , no matter how many angry words they exchange ,no matter what their past is, if they love each-other, they can grow old together with the best yet to be. I will do what i can to answer your question Riddhima ... if i can stop Sid from divorcing you. But my little little girl... the answer lies with you.... Only you can stop Sid from divorcing you. Only you. I can only arrange the stage - the drama is for you to enact. Right?
From Armaan to Sid-Riddz with love , pathos and hope.
Dearest Sid-Riddhima,
I really don't want to know where to start or what to say to both of you. I am still reeling under a strange mixed feeling of shock , guilt , numbness and ... i don't know what, really. I had just come to the terms with the reality that you are married Riddhima , that you are Mrs.Riddhima Siddhanth Modi ... that you are married to this lovely sweetheart of a guy called Siddhanth....and then, you and Siddhanth punched me in the gut again and it is still paining. I mean... there is a strange guilt and it is funny because i know i meant no harm and i know that i have not done anything intentionally to hurt you or harm either of you.
Sid, the sight of the divorce papers in Riddhima's hands and her ceaseless sobbing doesn't leave my eyes. Riddhima , your heart-piercing scream - Siddhanth Modi wants to divorce me keeps echoing in my ears. In a way you both pulled out my heart with bare hands - Sid , you hurt me by sending divorce papers to Riddhima inspite if my conversation with you which i deemed sensible - Riddhima , you hurt me my suggesting in a twisted way in your agony that I am trying to snatch Sid away from you by my sheer presence. As it is , it is an emotional upheaval for me to deal with reailty , to deal with the realization that what both of you mean to each-other - then , why are you both making it so difficult for me to even breathe with Sid thinking that I am Riddhima's happiness and pushing her away with full force and with Riddhima thinking that i am a danger to her marriage and that it is because of me that Sid is receding away?
No. It is not my fault .... i just don't want to think it is my fault because it really isn't . The fault is with BOTH OF YOU! Is it my fault that you both have individual thinking zones where you both cook up your own reality and then vent out everything on me? NO.
Riddhima, instead of screaming your lungs out at me and ruing over Siddhanth , did you make any effort to confront your husband whom you don't want to leave? No.You didn't.
Siddhanth, instead of deciding on your own where Riddhima's happiness is whether and why she wants to be with you , did you make any effort to ask Riddhima how she feels about you? No. You didn't. It is you and Riddhima who have put me between your blossoming marriage by your sheer goodness and vulnerability that edges on being CERTIFIED FOOLISHNESS.
And i refuse to feel guilty, Mrs. and Mr. Siddhanth Modi.
I am the reason that you both are ripping each-other apart? NO. You both are hurting each-other because of each-other and yet you both don't let go of that small hope of healing. Otherwise, Riddhima , you would have never pleaded with your father to stop Sid from leaving you .... otherwise, Sid, you wouldn't have turned on my footsteps with that strange but pensive smile on your face thinking me to be your wife Riddhima....
I am sorry Sid for what i did to you - for provoking you in the locker room - for saying all the harsh words that i pricked into you - for pushing you to the limits of your emotional cliff and your mental patience - for raising my hand at you ..... but what can i do? Riddhima doesn't want this divorce - you don't want this divorce and i had to find out why! ....And when you finally let go of your pretentious hostility and your numbness ( which i have always found very disturbing) ...and when you screamed at me that you love Riddhima.... it was a strange feeling - it stabbed my heart to hear those words for Riddhima from another man's mouth but at the same time , i felt a balmy feeling of relief - of a happiness that i didn't know but i felt for Riddhima. For myself , a relief on that stupid stupid guilt that i had taken you away from Riddhima.... no, i have not. She is still there in your heart.... you love her ,Sid and Armaan Malik doesn't hate you for saying that. I can't explain how it felt hearing those words from you... but for a few seconds, i was somewhere else . Somewhere else.
I don't know what will happen next, Sid. I don't know how I will feel tomorrow or how am i ever going to thread you and Riddhima back together... will i do that at all? Will i be able to do that at all? No idea.
But tonight when i go to sleep, i have your emotionally wrought face and your poignant confession in my mind - Kyunki main usse pyaar karta hoon.........the echo is still throbbing in my head and trust me , when you said you love Riddhima, you shook my heart and then.... you seeped down to my bones...
Love and luck to everyone, ❤️
GOD bless everyone.🤗
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