Story - Bureau blast

Yeh mera first attempt hai. Aap log please padhke batayiye ki aapko kaise laga. Achcha nahin laga toh bhi batayiye.

 

Thank you.

 

 

Edited by vibgyor123 - 13 years ago

Loved it just loved it. Good, there was no lovey-dovey scenes. Tarika's appearance only as much as was required, I am happy. I would really like to see this on screen. Forensic use was adequate, nothing un-necessary, and the issue was mainly resolved by logical thinking. I love such stories.

Way to go, looking forward to reading more from you. I look forward to more investigating scenes and logincal thinking, less Forensic and no love story, just like this ONE.
 

Originally posted by: vibgyor123

Daya : Kaise ho Abhijit? Sorry, kal raat ko tumhe yahan akele chodkar jaana pada.

Abhijit : Koi baat nahin yaar. Mujhe doctor ne bataaya ki tum har aadhe ghante mein unhe phone karke mere baare mein pooch rahe the.

 
This part sooooooo lovely. I can see it. I just love Daya-Abhi relationship. It's awesome. Touches my heart every time.

 

Edited by prabhanarayan - 14 years ago

Freddie was very sweet...what do you think??? He is not shown as a comedian, but a person with full of love in his heart.

Amazing story..1! please sedn this 2 sony creatives..!! this episode is going to rawk..!! amazing...1! loved the concern for Abhi sir on everyones face..! gosh i want to see this episdoe..!! NOW..!! :P amazing job..1!!

excellent work keep it up.each part was simply amazing everything was in proportion and i could really feel the actors saying this dialogue
the last scene was simple superb it beautifully potrayed the bonding between daya and abhijeet.
i was specially happy to read freddy's part where he did something other than comedy
hope to read more of your stories soon
👍🏼 👍🏼 Edited by didobhav - 14 years ago

Really good story..👏

Really nice work👏👏 keep it up.👍🏼

Originally posted by: visrom

Freddie was very sweet...what do you think??? He is not shown as a comedian, but a person with full of love in his heart.

O yes, I wanted mention about him, but by the time I reached towards the end of the story, those last two dialogs, rest just skipped my mind.

Now that is the Freddie I know, softhearted, has love for everyone, sweet but not stupid, jovial but not a joker. This is how I want Freddie to be presented.

Originally posted by: vibgyor123

Fredricks : Sir...main...ek ghante ke liye ghar jaake thoda fresh hoke aata hoon sir. Meri wife bhi bohot tension mein hai.

Daya(not too happy) : Theek hai... lekin jaldi waapas aao...yahan Abhijit bhi nahin hai...hume tumhari zaroorat hai.

This line makes me so happy. Shows Freddie is an inseparable part of the team.

Originally posted by: somu_05

this episode is going to rawk..!! amazing...1! loved the concern for Abhi sir on everyones face..! gosh i want to see this episdoe..!! NOW..!!

Me too I want to see it NOW. Singh Saab please use this story.

Originally posted by: vibgyor123

Yeh mera first attempt hai. Aap log please padhke batayiye ki aapko kaise laga. Achcha nahin laga toh bhi batayiye.

 

Thank you.

 

Really good story, Very creative 👏 and thrilling 👏

vibgyor123. Welcome to the forum. Great entry to the forum.

Awesome story very well balanced. Keep it up good work. Would really want to see it on show.
Edited by sunnyp1414 - 14 years ago