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Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

Life Goes On

[email protected] IF-Dazzler
Pooj@
Pooj@

Joined: 10 February 2009
Posts: 3074

Posted: 21 March 2010 at 2:13am | IP Logged
Life Goes On

or in other words


How to get over your ex

A one shot.
Constructive criticism will be appreciated!

I have deviated from my regular writing. please read and review!


Edited by [email protected] - 21 March 2010 at 2:19am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

.PINK.

[email protected] IF-Dazzler
Pooj@
Pooj@

Joined: 10 February 2009
Posts: 3074

Posted: 21 March 2010 at 2:16am | IP Logged

Life Goes On

 

 

He left me with a depleted bank balance, some cheap trinkets, shards of my heart and a 'single' relationship status on facebook. I collapsed on my sofa, trying to look at the situation bravely through my heavy kajal-ed eyes. Everything seemed beyond repair. Even the heart. Already jilted by two and a half lovers (the third was gay, pretending to like me because I let their band practice on my terrace. They were called 'Hymenated'. Virginal-Original ' geddit?) , my cellotaped heart could not bear the shock. Moreover, he had been sure to stomp on it, wipe his dirty feet, then put it in the mixer and grind it to a fine powder before puffing it with his tobacco. Strange, what love does to a person. Even though he had left me a week ago, my house still smelt of tobacco, a smell I detested till he came along, puffing a cigarette in my life.

 

The development of our relationship was simple. My 'single' status on facebook changed to 'complicated' and then finally to 'committed'. My gay friend (yes, the one with the band) wrote 'Despo?' I replied, 'Despo in love'. Cheesy? Yes. Satisfying? Double yes.


 A week after the showdown, the earlier revulsion to the very smell of tobacco came back. Mita was glad. "You are finally over that two face conniving bas***d." She cackled, putting his things in a large trash can, helping me to obliterate his existence from my life.


She poked me with her large red talons, and dragged me to the nearest coffee shop, where I drowned my tears in a cup of Mocha, finally over the tobacco addicted man.


 Today, I was sipping coffee all alone at my favourite table in the corner. I had painted my nails after a whole month and visited my hair salon earlier in the day. Suddenly, bouquet of long stemmed yellow roses was plonked on my table by the hassled attendant. There wasn't any note, only a piece of paper, on which was scrawled, 'Admirer'. I looked up for him, blushing, as a handsome guy two tables away raised his mug.


 Three weeks later, I smile to myself as I change my relationship status from 'single' to 'complicated'. Ping! The first one to comment is the tobacco-walla.

 'On Rebound?'

 I stare at the screen for a few minutes before writing back, 'No. In love.'

Yes, Life goes on.



Edited by [email protected] - 21 March 2010 at 1:03pm

The following 6 member(s) liked the above post:

Monika__29_.serendipity._yikes_Sayu_SobtiObsession.PINK.

_.serendipity._ Senior Member
_.serendipity._
_.serendipity._

Joined: 14 October 2009
Posts: 752

Posted: 21 March 2010 at 9:16am | IP Logged

Brilliant!! :) :) I loved the subtle humour (eg, the bit about two and a half lovers) .. and the ending was so satisfying!! Absolutely loved it!! Please pm me whenever you write anything! I'm a fan :)

[email protected] IF-Dazzler
Pooj@
Pooj@

Joined: 10 February 2009
Posts: 3074

Posted: 21 March 2010 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by _.serendipity._

Brilliant!! :) :) I loved the subtle humour (eg, the bit about two and a half lovers) .. and the ending was so satisfying!! Absolutely loved it!! Please pm me whenever you write anything! I'm a fan :)



Hey, thanks a ton for replying.I was not sure about the whole thing, it just popped in my head when i was suposed to be concentrating on a poem about the GangesLOL I will surely PM you!
mailme2sobit Groupbie
mailme2sobit
mailme2sobit

Joined: 08 February 2010
Posts: 76

Posted: 05 April 2010 at 11:07pm | IP Logged
nicely written.. interesting story indeed! keep it up!

Hey frn, i've written a story called "Footprint". so check it out. i want2 improve my writing skill, so encourage me by giving ur feedback..


Edited by mailme2sobit - 14 May 2010 at 10:16pm
[email protected] IF-Dazzler
Pooj@
Pooj@

Joined: 10 February 2009
Posts: 3074

Posted: 14 April 2010 at 2:54am | IP Logged
@mailme2sobit : Thanks!
.PINK. IF-Stunnerz
.PINK.
.PINK.

Joined: 09 January 2009
Posts: 37962

Posted: 17 April 2010 at 3:48pm | IP Logged
hey interesting story na !!Hug
love it to the core!!
specially the end part where she says
'No. In love
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