Posted:
Mr. Not-so-Darcy is driving his beautiful wifey to Sanjivani with pin drop silence between them. Riddhima, pensive, thoughtful and rather sunken is looking out of the window while Sid keeps looking at her as though she will catch him stealing choco cookies. And they both are riding their own carousels of thoughts and feelings......Sid wants to speak to her but he cannot bring himself to do so and Riddhima wants to hear something from Sid that would make her feel better or at least nice about herself and her current status with Sid.
Riddhima's mind knows no peace- the flashes of Sid telling KM that Riddhima is not the kind of woman he would marry and it keeps playing in her head as she seems to be looking out at the speeding road.Why should it be disturbing her?
Sid keeps recalling how he told Riddhima that it won't be tough for her to play up an act of not being his wife - after all there is nothing between them. Right?
They both keep thinking about the cutting words that they told to each-other yesterday and then, they shoot off to their individual planes....
Sid keeps looking at Riddhima.... There are so many things that i want to tell you but i am in the middle of nowhere - because our relationship is in the middle of nowhere. I am going to see a girl today , can you believe that? I am married . What a crime! The way i behave with you , the lies that i am telling to my Mom... it is wrong , i know but i am too tired of all this Riddhima. I am just so-not-sorted. ......I guess we have the strangest relationship. We are not friends , we are not lovers , we are not even husband -wife....and yet we boomerang into each-other.....And soon you shall bow out of my life. And then... then... I will think why I did what I did.....Actually, i have no idea why i did all this for you Riddhima. Maybe... someday... in some walk of life I will know why i gave up a whole slice of my life for you.....
Riddhima looks at him tenderly when he is not looking.... Sid, you stood by me through thick and thin, through the good and the bad , when i didn't care and when i did care , you brought me back to life when i wanted to run into the door that led to the darkness of death and finality....you were there and i know that you will always be there. It is your goodness , your compassion that wrapped me in warmth and won my heart - I am not saying this because I am indebted to you for life - No. I am saying all this because you are special....Today , am grateful to my Dad that he brought you into my life when I was at my weakest... at my lowest. You blew life and blood into my frozen veins and i can never decide who has healed my life more - you or Dad. Dad looked after me when i was little and you took me under your wing ....I don't know what will happen tomorrow, Sid... or where we are headed.... but always remember one thing... Riddhima is and will always be there for you - I will never leave you alone....
Later , after dodging the embarrassing questions of the gang about their honeymoon , Sid-Riddz meet alone at the lockers. Sid , after a little hesitation goes upto Riddhima who is still in her Meena Kumari mode. She looks up at him bit darting her eyes here and there and Sid does the same - his gaze not even once settling on Riddhima.....
I have been trying to tell you this, Riddhima... I mean... since morning ( darn! why can't i just come out with it )... i will be leaving early today ... i am supposed to go and see a girl today... with KM.... oops, Mom. ... at Hotel with a Not-so-classy-name.....
Sid's words hit Riddhima and she just nods , words not finding way to her mouth. Sid says a hurried bye and turns to leave....
Something tugs at Riddzie's heart strings and not knowing why , she instinctively stops Sid....but there has to be a reason to stop Sid . She can't tell him that her heart is going cuckoo over him and she just doesn't want to let go of him....and she says what we say on impulse - foolish words but shot with the blood of sentiments in their veins....
Sid....
Sid stops in his tracks but doesn't turn.
Sid, wear your white shirt today -it.. it suits you very much. Her eyes are unsteady and her lips are quivering. I want to tell him something else... what the freaks am i saying?
Sid is ruffled by his wife's suggestion but doesn't turn and walks ahead...
Riddhima stops him again - and you can see that she is on an emotional cliffhanger where she basically wants to pounce on Sid and whack the living daylights out of him and ask him why she is feeling what she is feeling...
Sid stops again but still doesn't look back at Riddhima... almost as if he doesn't want to turn and relive the moment and feeling of walking away from her.
Riddhima , her words scattered asks him meekly that if he likes the girl, will he bring her to Riddhima so that she can see her?
That punches Sid but he doesn't react... he just shuts his eyes for a second or two as though to breathe in the dark humour and irony of it all - shakes his head as though laughing at his fate and goes away.... leaving Riddhima standing all alone in the locker room to deal with her emotions.....
Riddhima knows no peace - she stands like the waiting Lady of Shalott ( a must read poem- it is tragically beautiful) on the terrace of the hospital watching Sid walk upto the car and leave to see the girl ( Yuvi and Naina are so gonna whack him , man!) .... and the lump in her heart - that strange shot of pain begins to rise to her throat and she starts going cuckoo - she starts to feel - she starts to react - she starts to cry. Behaving everything that Sid so wanted to see when she was a ragdol with him. You wish Sid was here right now to see her.... see her as he always wished to see her - ALIVE.
She cannot bear the thought and sight of Sid walking away from her - her entire life with Sid runs like beautiful snapshots in front of her eyes - Sid knocking at the doors of death so that she could live , putting her life , her happiness in front of his own , pulling her into his fold by marrying her without giving a thought about his own future , the filling of sindoor when he bound her to his life forever , his tenderness towards her under all the harshness, Riddhima's own shift of feelings towards Sid as she began to see him in the light of a husband she has begun to love instead of the saviour she felt indebted to.... .....Riddhima snaps out of it. No! I cannot let him go.... I... what is this tugging feeling in my heart. I am scared of losing Siddhanth? I want to hold on to him forever? Why is he all over my head and heart .... he is everywhere and i cannot handle it...And you wish that Sid takes a U-turn and comes back to his cuckoo wife who is finally realizing that she is cuckoo over him and there is no way she wants this marriage to end.....
A smile comes over your face when you see Sid wearing a white shirt later..... Why did he wear white? Because Riddhima is under his skin but his hammered belief that he is invisible to Riddhima does not let the doors open that he has shut and locked. Sometimes, what we spend our lives hunting for is within an arm's distance.....Riddhima is within an arm's distance, Sid....Take her hand.
In the precap , you see a broken and shattered Riddzie who can fight no longer and has surrendered to her feelings for Sid. She runs to into Sid's arms and clings to him for dear life , tears streaming down her cheeks and tells him that he is the only truth she knows, the only truth that matters enough to move her to tears.... and Sid slowly lifts his hand to hug her back but his face a myriad of emotions - shock , confusion , discomfiture. After all, he brushes his teeth every morning telling himself that Riddhima will never love him . For Riddhima , it is a giant leap of faith and feeling and for Sid , it is nothing less than lightening striking him with a thunderclap.
Riddhima has surrendered , Sid. What are you going to do now?
Open the door, Sid. Riddhima is knocking .... knocking with all her heart.
P.S - Today's episode reminded me of two instances from the film 'HUM-TUM' . In the first instance, Karan tells journalists that often relationships don't work out because we don't open our mouths , we never tell our partner how we feel. That is criminal. If you love someone or whatever is in your heart , just tell the person. Riya could never understand my love because I , myself failed to realize it. Hopefully , now that i meet her , i will tell her.
And in the flashback when a happy , glowing Riya waits in excitement for Karan to come and tell her that he loves her , propose her , he looks at her ashamed because of what happened between them last night and tells her he is sorry. He loves her but he feels apologetic - we should marry. A shattered Riya tells Karan that we should not get married for the wrong reasons. Karan is not able to tell her how much he loves her and Riya goes away with a broken heart.
I hope you guys understand why I mentioned these two instances from that beautiful film. And interestingly, HUM-TUM was about second chances.
comment:
p_commentcount