I lean back in my driver's seat and let out a sigh. I close my eyes, trying to shut out the depression that was slowly infusing into my brain. Loneliness was something I never quite understood how to deal with. It always over-powered my will power and completely took control of me.
I'm not legally allowed to drive. But hey, India is not meant for legal stuff. Everyone does something illegal here, so who cares ? Atleast driving puts me to peace. Plus, just 2 years to go. Not a problem at all.
It's 10:30 am at night and the traffic is beginning to thin down. There's a dhaba right next to where I'm parked. Not exactly a dhaba, more like a chai-stall. I wave to a waiter-cum-chai maker kid roaming around the place, trying to attract more customers. He walks to me and I ask him to bring me one cup of tea. Although I'm not really fond of tea, I just need something hot to go down my throat.
Within a few minutes, I'm holding a fresh cup, no, kullad of tea and the heat makes me feel better, atleast to a small extent. Why am I so sad ? Frankly, I'm not really sure. It's alot of things all mixed up together. You know, like the times when you can't help but say, "Shit happens"
Let's try to make a list:
School
Financial problems
Emotional problems
Dealing with the past
Everyday crisis
Home-related crisis
Etc.
Coming back to where I started this thought process from. None of my fantasies seem to have a happy ending. I wonder whether it's some kind of an odd future prediction or just my warped brain screwing my thoughts up.
I was about to delve deeper into this thought when my cell phone rang. It's mom. She wants me back. I sigh once again and with great effort, sit up in my seat. I straighten up my seat, pull it forward and insert the key into the ignition. I don't believe in seat belts. They don't really help. Getting the car into gear, I hit the accelerator and head home.
Plus, it's not just the school, I have a problem with the entire system. You want an education ? India's not the place for you. Go to some country where practicality and intelligence are real concepts, and not just theoretical concepts like other theoretical concepts. Theory, theories about that theory, and more theories about both these theories, that's what our system is about. Oh and I almost forgot - Marks. And grades.
I'm trying really hard here to focus on my maths homework. Maths in class 11th is a major pain in the rear. It's probably tougher than Newton, Einstien, Aryabhatta and all the other geeky scientists, put together would have imagined it to be two/three centuries later.
It's 5:40 pm in the evening and there are so many things that I'd rather be doing. No, I don't mean logging in to facebook and uploading pics of myself shitting in the loo. I have yet to go to the market and buy some stuff, I have to go find a plumber because the kitchen tap is leaking, I have to call the hardware guy to fix up my CD-Rom, I also have to send a few important mails. And yet, I'm sitting here trying to understand 'Limits & Derivatives', which might not even help me 20 years hence.
People often cite that I'm not their 'regular' teenager, I really don't know what that means, or whether it's a positive implication or a negative one. All I know is that I'm different. My life, habits, ambitions are different.
I hate my phone. It rings too much. It's ringing now. I don't feel like picking it up, but I finally let out a sigh and pick it up, "Hello ?"
"Naina, dude, how's the homework coming along ?". It's my classmate, the one I sit with, and my friend too.
"Horribly. I haven't done anything", I reply, while making a face at my book. I can hear her sighing on the other end, "Yeah, it's the same with me. Looks like we're in for some nice shit tomorrow in maths class"
"Most probably. I'll bring my shiny armour", I reply with a slight grin. I can hear her grin too, I hang up without saying bye. That's kind of silly.
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