Next day........
The morning's first sun rays flickered through the curtains.......and fell on Radhika's face......as she sat still near her kanha idol.....with her legs curled up, face resting on her knees and hands around her legs.
"Radhika....." Devki called from kitchen
But no response came.....and Devki shifts her gaze towards Radhika's room
"yeh Radhika jawab kyun nahi de rahi.....ab tak to uth jaati hai......use to kabhi der nahi hoti" Devki wondered aloud.
"aaj mandir bhi nahi jaana hai kya use....humesha to....." her thoughts trailed, as she walked across to Radhika's room, feeling a bit worried.....
"Radhika......" Devki called her again pushing aside the curtain
Devki's gaze fell on Radhika's bed......but she was not there.....Her gaze shifts to Vishaka, who still lay sleeping, slowly snoring a bit.
Devki gets worried..... "to kaha gayi yeh.....yahi to...." saying her gaze wandered and stopped when she found Radhika sitting near her Kanha Idol
Devki feels relieved and walks towards her...... "Radhika"
But Radhika doesn't give any response
"Radhika.......tu yaha kya kar rahi hai.....subah subah apne kanha se baat shuru kar....."
Her words trailed off when she saw Radhika's face...... It was pale.
"Radhika....." Devki seats down near Radhika with a worried look
But Radhika doesn't respond yet......
The whole night Radhika had cried.......for the pain.....she caused to him. She didn't know why but she felt very very hurt. The tears didn't stop flowing from her eyes......and sleep hardly came to her........!!
His painful voice......His face......hurt and painful......Everything encircled her thoughts and made her mind numb.
"Radhika....." Devki called again worried......since her daughter wasn't responding to her and sat like a stone carved doll......motionless.....
Devki looked at her for a second......
Only her even breathing and regular blinking of her eyelids made her feel like a human......She stood completely motionless.....as if her body was frozen in a same position.
"Radhika......" Devki shook Radhika's shoulder's calling her
Radhika was jolted back to reality with this.......and shivered a bit as she came back.
"Radhika......tu theek to hai" Devki asked again....the worried expression growing on her face with every passing moment.
Radhika looked up to her
Devki felt a bit relieved "Radhika....tu theek to hai" She repeated the question softly
Radhika didn't understand why she was asking so....and kept looking at her confusedly for a seond......Her gaze shifted to Kanha Idol......
After a second.....Radhika realized that she had been sitting here the whole night......hadnt slept.......just sat here crying.......!
Radhika sighed slowly and understood Devki's concern......
Devki's gaze lingered on Radhika's face, anxiously waiting for an answer.....
"Jee ma.....main theek hoo" Radhika replied softly turning her gaze back to Devki....
But Devki could see.......her daughter was not fine. She looked pale, weak.....her eyes red...as if she had cried the whole night......her eyes were even swollen a bit....showing that she hadn't slept the whole night.
Devki's gaze lingered on her, assessing her face...... "Radhika kya huwa beta.....tu yaha iss tarah kyun baithi thi?"
Radhika turned her head....to face away from her mother.....to conceal her emotions "er....k...kuch nahi ma....."
She frowned a bit.....feeling a bit queasy
Her gaze fell on the single line of sunrays coming in from the small opening of the curtain.....and her mind quickly started working......she had to get away from there or else Devki will find out something....
"ma....bahut der ho gayi hai......main tayar ho jaaati hoo" She said half facing Devki....and got up quickly before Devki could ask any more things
She headed to the closet, quickly took a towel, a fresh dress and rushed to the washroom
Devki's gaze followed her back as she rushed to the washroom.......and then shifted to the floor "jaroor Radhika mujhse kuch chupa rahi hai lekin kya?"
In Purohit House.....
After the morning puja and Breakfast.......Dev had gone to his room silently
The silence in him......the sadness in his face....didnt go unnoticed by family members.....But they didn't ask anything....
Even during the breakfast......everyone was chatting about the engagement.....marriage etc.....But Dev hardly took notice. He kept to himself and had his food slowly....and then quickly went off to his room without even smiling at anyone.....
After a few hours.......
Dev remained in his room for most of the time......
Dadima was worried because of this......
She sat down on the couch "Is Dev ko kya huwa hai......apne kamre main hi hai subah se...." she wondered aloud with a concern. Mrinalini came up to her
"Haa Dadimaa.....maine bhi dekha aaj Dev bahut pareshan lag raha hai....He seems to be very disturbed"..... "Infact he is behaving like this for quite some time now isn't it?"
"Dekha to maine bhi Mrinalini lekin I don't know.....usne kuch kaha hi nahi.....baat hi nahi kar raha"
"main jaakar dekhti hoo" Dadima said.
Mrinalini nodded once.
Dadima knocked on the door.....
Dev sat leaning on the bed, reading a book, although he hardly concentrated on it.
Dev didn't hear the knock. His thoughts were stuck on to Radhika..... Her words...... Her smile...... Her blush.......! Pain and anguish reflected in his face as his thoughts kept wandering to her......
He had tried the whole night......to keep her thoughts away from him. But it didn't seem to work....Instead it kept coming back to him......haunted him.
The sharp pain in his heart caused due to her words, that still rang in his brain clearly, could be still felt!!
He had made up his mind to not cause her pain.....and that would mean keeping himself away....from her. Keeping her away from him....
But how?.....I am not able to get her out of my mind for even a second.....How can I Do it
His gaze was stuck on to blank wall......but hands crushed the pages of the book, he held.....in frustation
Dadima felt a bit worried..........Dadima knocked the door.....a bit loudly.
Dev didn't open at first as he didn't hear the knock.
Dadima called him out....... knocking the door again.......
On hearing her voice Dev was jostled back to reality......he got up from the bed and opened the door. "Dadima aap".....
"Dev tujhe kya huwa hai" she said entering the room
"er.....nothing I am fine" he said hiding his emotions.
He can't let her know of the pain he was going through.......
"mujhse jhooth mat bol dev......tere chehre pe saaf dikh raha hai.....that you are upset".....
Dev was a bit stunned.....
He turned around to keep the book in his hand on the shelf.... "Aisi koi baat nahi hai dadima" he lied.
He composed himself.......giving a silent sigh.
When he turned to face her...... he was smiling "I think aap logon ko jyaada sochne ki adat pad gayi hai"......
"bas Dev what's it bol?" she asked him again
If she kept asking like this how can I lie to her? Dev thought.
"mujhe mera Dev wapas chahiye....."
Dev looked up at her.... "main aapka Dev hi hoon Dadima" Saying he hugged her. "Actually I was a bit tired and wasn't feeling well isiliye main bahar nahi aaya......socha rest kar loo"....
"teri tabiyat theek nahi hai...." she said facing him....looking a bit worried.
"are dadima.....kuch jyaada nahi.....shayad tiredness ke wajah se huwa hai....Agar aaram kar loonga to theek ho jaaonga".... he smiled concealing his real emotions.
"sach keh raha hai na tu?" she narrowed her eyes
"Ha dadima" he smiled.
She left the room so that he could take rest. But she was least convinced with whatever reasons he gave. She was sure something else was the reason that bothered him so much.
Dev shut the door and sighed. "Dev get a grip man....! You can't keep thinking about her for your whole life. Try to forget her.....!!"
In shastri house........
It was a clear afternoon.......sun shined happily on the bright blue sky spreading its warm rays to the earth......
Radhika sat near the window in her room......holding the gril tightly, leaning her head towards the gril
The whole day Radhika had been working mechanically, doing her usual routine works.....cleaning, dusting, cooking, praying etc, but her thoughts wandered every second moment else where....to someone else.
Radhika sighed as she felt the soft warm breeze careesing her face, as she sat motionless near the window.
Her thoughts wandered again and played the previous day's events in front of her eyes.....
Until she felt his breaths even closer....... near her ear....and then he whispered slowly .... "Tum bahut khoobsurat lag rahi ho......"
She drew in a sharp breath closing her eyes as the words reached her ear...... her hands resting on his chest felt weak and her fingers unknowingly clenched his kurta....
"bahut khubsurat" he repeated coming still closer to her ear almost brushing her ears....
Her hear thumped.......raced.
He tilted his head a bit..... and placed a small kiss at the end of her jaw near her earings.......
She felt her heart racing again as the images came across in front of her eyes......She sighed again shifting a bit.....still holding the grill.
Her throat choked...... "aur aap se bhi yahi vinti hai.... aap bhi mujhe apni bhabhi ke dost samjhe" and tears rolled down....
He looked up hurt and He finally spoke.
"Theek hai...."....Dev said firmly....Radhika finally looked up at him for a moment....
He composed himself...... "I won't....ab main tumhe kabhi pareshan nahi karoonga...... agar aapko meri wajah se takleef ho rahi hai....theek hai....main nahi aaonga aapke paas....aur nahi aapse baat karne ki koshish karoonga......" he said grimly
She looked on......She could feel the pain in his eyes.
"Meri wajah se agar aap ko ab tak jo pareshani huwi uske liye maaf kar dejeye"......he said trying his best to conceal his sadness.
Radhika shivered a bit......as she again saw his painfilled face in front of eyes......!!
What was she supposed to do.......How was she supposed to explain things....to her.....to him..... Why was all this happening.....
Her gaze turned to kanha, but her body remained still
Why? Why make my life like this......why is this happening.....what is happeneing.....when I am already someone else's......why are you making me do all this......
Her gaze resting on kanha tightened as a memory flashed across her brain.....and she let her thoughts wander........
A few weeks back........Radhika was returning back from the temple as usual after her daily prayers........
She came inside, and closed the gate behind her.
As she walked across the courtyard to the door....suddenly something came to her mind.....that she had some work at the back of the house...some cleaning work..... And her forehead sweated, not because of the warmth of the sun but feeling scared....
"agar Amma ne dekha ke maine kaam nahi kiya to daant padegi....." Saying she walked to the back of the house quickly
After a few moments....she had completed the work and a smile came across her face, satisfied with her work.
She entered the house through the back door itself and walked in......when she heard some voices......
Amma and Shastrijee's voice......They were arguing.
Radhika felt scared, her heart thumped.....She had always felt scared in front of Amma. So she decides to walk quietly in to her room without listening to the conversation between them
"Amma......Radhika ke bare main to sochiye" Shastrijee said to his mother
Hearing her name......Radhika stopped.....and slowly took one hesitant step closer to the door and hid behinid it to hear the argument.....
She was curious since the argument involved her.......but her body felt cold as she stood behind the door......since Amma sat there arguing loudly in her terrifying voice.....
"Lalla mori baat sun....tu kah kehna chahta hai.....tu apni beti ki zindagi barbad kardega ka" Amma asked furiously
Shastrijee looked on...... "Amma....main apni beti ki zindagi nahi barbad karna chahta lekin vishaka ki shaadi ki jaldi kya hai aapko Amma?"
Radhika wondered to herself happily "Vishaka ki shaadi......" Paused. "Lekin babuji kyun nahi man rahe?"
Her gaze lingered on them......
"Tu ka keh raha hai Lalla.....Vishaka ab bachi na rahi....ache ache rishte aa rahe ooke liye......tu ka chahta hum sab ko mana kar den?" Amma stated
"nahi Amma lekin......aap janti hai ke iss ghar ki badi beti Radhika hai.....aur jab tak uski shaadi ki baat....."
Amma interrupted "Oo chori.......iss ghar ki beti na hai......Oo manhoos....Oo abshaguni....chori iss ghar ki beti...."Amma smirked.... "Oo Parayi hai lalla....parayi".....Amma said......angrily
Radhika winced in pain.......as the words reached her ears. Tears brimmed in her eyes.
"Oo manhoos.....oo abshaguni.....parayi hai parayi hai"
Amma's words echoed in her ears......and she closed her eyes in pain
Radhika knew that she was not Shatrijee's own daughter......but his best friend's daughter. His best friend Shankar Panditjee.....had been like a brother to Shastrijee and had been together since childhood and loved each other a lot.
Radhika's mother passed away as soon as she gave birth to her.....and Radhika was bought up by her father......But when she was around 3-4 years old......he had passed away as well....
After this, Shastrijee had bought little Radhika to his home....as his own daughter.
Devki had hugged Radhika and welcomed her in the house.....with a motherly affection.
Even when Radhika used to stay with her father......she used to come to Devki, since Devki loved her like a mother....
But she had been utterly disliked by Amma.....always!!
As soon as Amma had seen her......she had started abusing her with the same words..... 'Abshaguni'.... 'Manhoos'..... 'karamjali'......
Amma never loved the girl......She always thought of her as an ill-fated girl since her mother passed away because of her.....Amma even thought Radhika being the reason for Shankar passing away......
Amma had never accepted her......Always thought of her as an outsider......A girl who was a bad luck to her own family.....A girl who will be a bad luck for Shastri's.
Radhika got her family in Shastri's......But Amma always reminded her about her being an outsider.....Radhika could never feel at home because Amma would never let that happen. Amma would taunt her....curse her......beat her......kick her at every opportunity she got....when Shastrijee and Devki wouldn't be at home.....
Though Shastrijee had always argued with his mother on this issue....and always stopped her from beating Radhika, Amma still did what she wanted......since she had scared little Radhika by ordering her not to tell anything to Shastri's or else she will be thrown out of the family......
And Little Radhika didn't tell a word to Shastrijee about her kicks and beatings.....blows and slaps she received from Amma.....She cried to herself but didn't bring a word to her mouth.....
She flinched in pain.......
Shastrijee's resounding voice bought her back......
"Amma........Bas Kijeeye.......main keh raha hoo......Bas keejiye" Shastrijee almost shouted.
Radhika shuddered a bit.......
"Amma aap achi tarah se jaanti hai ke Radhika ki shaadi pehle se hi tayr ho chuki hai....."Shastrijee stated looking straight in to his mother's eyes....
Radhika gazed at them a bit bewildered......and wondered to herself silently
"Meri shaadi tayr ho chuki hai......."
"Lekin Lalla took ka lagta hai.....Oo log iss manhoos se shaadi karne ke liye aayenge.....iss boj ko humare sar se apne sar pe lenge......"
Shastrijee interrupted her again "Amma haath jodta hoo aapke.....Radhika meri beti hai....usse yun manhoos kehke mera apman na kare....." Paused. "Aur jaha tak baat un logon ki hai......main unse mil chukka hoo.....bahut ache log hai. Aur Radhika ko bahut pasand karte hai"
Radhika wondered again in silence "Lekin.....maine to......kabhi kisi ladke...."
Her thoughts were interrupted with Amma's voice
"Lalla......Oo logo ne oo chori ko bachpan ma dekha tha......"
"Jaanta hoo Amma......bachpan main dekha tha. Mere dost....Shankar......Radhika ke babauji ne hamari betiya ka haath kisi galat haath main nahi diya hai......woh log bahut ache hai......."
Radhika looked at them......The marriage was fixed by her father Shankar......
Amma huffed furiously at her Son......
"Lalla......tora dimaag phir gayo hai...Sab Oo ladki ki wajah se ho raho hai....Iss parivaar ka naam mithi main mila devegi Oo chori dekh lena lalla....tora vishwas tod degi.....tab toko mor baatoon main yakeen aayega......ke jis chori ne apne ma aur baap ko na choda who toko ka chodegi......."
Shastrijee turned to her......and said sternly "iss Vishay main mujhe koi aur....."
Radhika walked away......without listening to the remaining conversation.......and Shastrijee's voice faded as she walked across to her room......slowly not wanting Amma to see her....
Coming to her room.......she sat in front of her kanha idol. Amma's words rang in her head.....
"Sab Oo ladki ki wajah se ho raho hai....Iss parivaar ka naam mithi main mila devegi Oo chori dekh lena lalla....tora vishwas tod degi.....tab toko mor baatoon main yakeen aayega......ke jis chori ne apne ma aur baap ko na choda who toko ka chodegi......."
Her gaze flinched in pain.......and tears rolled down her cheek.....
"Kanha....kya sach main meri wajah se....ma aur babuji...." her words got stuck in her throat as she felt her throat choking......
Amma had always accused Radhika for this and taunted her every minute....throughout her childhood.
The taunting had made little Radhika actually belive that she indeed was the reason.....She was this ill-fated child who would actually ruin anybody's life, she entered into.....
It was only Devki and Shastrijee's immense support....that made little Radhika survive all those taunts.....made her belive otherwise that she was not an ill-fated child.....made her belive that she was not the reason for her parents passing away....
Her gaze lingering on kanha....felt the image of Kanha blurring as she remembered her childhood traumas......
Radhika wiped the tears with her hands
"Nahi kanha....main apni wajah se kisi ko jaan bhuj ke nuksaan nahi pahunchaungi"
She paused
"Main aapke saamne vaada karti hoo kanha......main apne babuji ko kabhi takleef nahi doongi..... Amma koi kabhi shikayat ka mauka nahi doongi......Babuji jo kahenge wahi karoongi..."She said determinedly.......but tears still brimmed in her eyes.
She stopped...... and her thoughts wandered.
"Amma aap achi tarah se jaanti hai ke Radhika ki shaadi pehle se hi tayr ho chuki hai....."Shastrijee stated looking straight in to his mother's eyes....
Her mind returned to Kanha...... "Meri shaadi jaha babuji chahte hai wahi karoongi....mere Shankar babuji bhi yahi chahte the na......unke vachan ko main nibhaoongi kanha....main nibhaoongi...." Her words paused
She chuckled without emotion "aur waise bhi aapne mere liye kisiko chun liya hai....aur who wahi hai jinhe mere babuji ne pasand kiya hai.....meri takdeer ab unse jud chuki hai.....toh aapke....apne babuji ke khilaf kaise jaa sakti hoo...nahi"
Radhika was jostled back to reality.......but she still stood in the same place, near window......her hand gripping the grill and head leaning......
Her gaze wandered.
Wandering her gaze fell on Kanha's idol.....and lingered on it for few seconds.....Her eyes felt sore....as she was crying throughout.
Slowly without any noise she walked up to kanha.....and sat in front of it
"Kanha....maine to vachan liya tha na.....ke main wahi karoongi jo babuji chahte the....."
She tried controlling her tears.......but the efforts were in vain
"to phir kyun kanha.....kyun mere man main unke liye aisi bhavnayein jaga rahe ho....."
Her thoughts again wandered to the moments in the kitchen.....moments in the terrace when she had been so close....to the engagement day when he had kissed her....to the day when they had gone to vrindavan darshan and he had made her feel comfortable.....
Every moment when she was near him she forgot about her promise...about her being someone else's....Although she tried to keep herself alert....but nothing came to rescue when he came to her......met her gaze or touched her...... All her senses would start aching for him, forgetting everything else....
This felt weird....Absolutely weird.....But that was happening to her. A man.....whom she had met just a few days ago....was affecting her so much. He was actually making her forget everything else.....even the promise that her Shankar Babuji had made.....and which she had to fulfill.......!!
He affected her so much when she was near him....she would loose all her control and blush.....smile in front of him....start feeling different emotions.....
But when reality strucked....she would feel angry at herself.....
"main unhe unke sawalon ke jawab kaise de deti kanha......kaise....batati ke main kyun...aise unke saath........"
She closed her eyes......feeling helpless.....asking the Lord to show her some way.......
As she sat closing her eyes.......few images formed in front of her eyes.....blurred images.......
Her heart winced in pain......as it felt torn......
But between whom?....... On one side was Shastrijee.....But on the other side....
No one..........
Dev..............!!
Radhika flung her eyes open.......
Her heart was feeling torn......between Shastrijee....and Him!.....
Radhika looked down.......feeling puzzled.
Next day
Radhika immersed herself in to chores so much so that she didn't have time to think about him..... but somehow his thoughts still made it..... to her brain....
Radhika stood near the table cleaning some stuff....
Devki called her "Radhika........"
Radhika didn't hear her.......
She stood there mechanically cleaning the stuff..... some showpiece.....which was already clean with no dust..... but she still kept wiping it.......
Devki eyed her curiously.....wondering why she was cleaning the item in her hand although it was almost shining......
Radhika didn't even answer her call.... she just kept wiping the piece...... her eyes focused on the item.....
Devki called her again "Radhika......"
Radhika heard this time and was startled..... "Huh.....?"
The piece in her hand was almost about to fall......but she managed to hold it.
And she turned her head to Devki...... "Jee aapne bulaya maa"....
Devki came to her "Tu theek hai na.....Radhika.....?" she asked concernedly......
Radhika looked away.....she didn't want to give away her emotions..... "Jee ma".
"Radhika..... tu sach bol beta.... jaroor koi baat apni maa se chupa rahi hai" Devki prodded.
Radhika didn't look at her.......
Keeping the item down she replied.... "Kuch bhi nahi maa....... main theek hoo".
She turns and gives a faint smile....
Devki keeps looking at her back....unconvinced...... as Radhika walks across to kitchen.....
She saw some vessels and started washing the dishes.....still lost in his thoughts
Just then Devki called her "Radhika......"
Radhika turns her head.
Devki felt sad.....She didn't know what was affecting her daughter so much that she was almost in trance most of the time......
Suddenly something came to her mind and Devki smiled....
"Radhika..... tujhe yaad hai na.... aaj mandir jaana hai..... mandir ko sajana hai...." Devki said with a warm smile
Hearing temple's name, a smile came on Radhika's face.....but faded the next second "Jee ma..... yaad hai". She looked down as she lied.
She didn't remember that she had to go to the Temple for the decorations. This was something that has never happened in her lifetime. She never ever forgot to go to temple.... or anything that was related to kanha.
But it did skip her mind..... now. Her mind was busy with something else.... someone else......
She sighed.
"Radhika.... tu abhi chali jaa beta.... pujari jee teri rah dekh rahe honge...." Devki smiled and came to her.....and took the vessel in Radhika's hand, to clean them.....
"waise mujhe tujhe yaad dilane ki jaroorat nahi thi..... tu mandir ya kanha se judi huwi koi baat kabhi bhulti hai bhala" Devki said cleaning the vessel......
Radhika looked down feeling guilty.
Devki saw this and came to her concerndly.... "are kya huwa...... Radhika......tu itni udas kyun ho gayi"
"er.... jee nahi ma...." Radhika lied hiding her emotions. "main chalti hoo......mandir main bahut kaam hoga na"
Devki smiled "Theek hai..... vishaka ko maine bola tha teri madat ke liye.....to who aa jayegi".....she said keeping other vessels for drying...
Radhika nodded and leaves for the temple.
In purohit house.....
Dev sat on the couch near the window, wondering
He still wasn't able to keep himself away from her thoughts. She still haunted him....hurting him...causing him pain.....
He had tried his best to remove her out from his memory and his thoughts. He came out of the room, chattered with his family, played with brother and bhabhi....But all these proved futile......
Her thoughts.......were strong.....so strong that no matter how much he distracted himself.....she came back to him.
"How insanely am I attracted to her?..... Why.....even after trying to distract myself so much, I still think about you.......why is it so?"....Dev wondered aloud, gritting his teeth angrily.....and clenched the cushioned armrest of the couch tightly......
After a moment....he tried to control his anger. Taking a breath, he leaned back on the couch.....in a relaxing position......streching his legs......
The afternoon sunrays flickering through the windows fell on his face.....and his eyes tightened in reflex.....
He shifts his gaze to the windows.....The weather looked calm......not so hot......
He sighs and decided to go on the drive.......thinking that probably if he diverts his mind he would be able to get her off his mind!!
Radhika reached the temple where the priest waited for her.......
"Radhe Radhe.......Jee babuji kahan hai?" she asked soflty.......
"er......shastrijee..... ek puja ke liye gaye hai.... thodi der baad aayenge..... betiya....tu mandir ko sajane ka kaam shuru kar de" he said with a smile.
"Jee" she nodded once with a soft smile......
The priest moved towards the back of the temple......
Radhika glanced at kanha idol with a smile....... The idol smiled back at her.
She loved being there in the temple..... she loved cleaning, decorating the temple..... Anything related to kanha gave her satisfaction.
She beamed happily....for she was in the temple...for her Kanha....!!
And turns around to take a fresh cloth from the other corner of the temple.....
As she was turning back to the Kanha's Idol......her gaze falls on the temple bell....and again as if involuntarily.....Images of Dev comes in front of her.......
she held the clapper of the temple bell to ring it....another hand....a strong, rough hand held hers.......it stung her as if some electric current passed through......and she swiftly turned her head to look at him......he too turned to look at her simultaneously
After a moment.....she came back to reality with a slight shudder......
Sighing She turns around and walks to her kanha.....
"Yeh kya kanha..... tumahre paas aakar to sab kuch bhul jaati hoo.... mujhe kisi ka hosh nahi rehta...... par ab..... tumhare paas hote huwe bhi.... mujhe kisi aur ka khayal aa raha hai...." Radhika asked feeling helpless....
"Radhika......." Vishaka called her as she came in.
Radhika quickly concealed her emotions and turned around "vishaka......"
"are.... tu pahunch gayi....acha ma bata rahi thi ke mujhe teri madat karni hai..... kya karna hai mujhe?" Vishaka asked excitedly with a smile.
"chal batati hoo" Radhika replied back with a small smile.
Dev drove through the narrow streets......trying to focus on the roads......the chirping of birds....and the ponds as he passed by.
But nothing was able to distract him from her......Absolutely Nothing!!
It was only her that his mind seemed to think about.
Her beautiful smile kept coming in front of his eyes.....His hands could still feel the soft skin of hers.......His eyes still ached to see that blush on her face.....
As these thoughts encircled his mind, he gripped the steering tightly.....feeling angry....realizing that he wasn't able to control himself.....
He has never felt for any girl like this......!! But she.....she doesn't like him.....!!Hates it when he's near her.......Thinks that he's harassing her.......
This got on to his nerves and he applied the brakes.
The car stopped and he closed his eyes for a moment, to control his anger......took a breath to calm himself down.....and slowly released his tight grip on the steering.
After a moment, opening his eyes, He turned his head sideways and saw that he had stopped the car in front of the temple.....
His gaze lingered at the temple for a moment and then he decides to go to the temple hoping to find answers for his problems from The Lord.
He parked the car and walked towards the temple. His gaze wandered and found the temple to be almost empty.
He stopped at end of the stairs to remove his shoes......while his gaze wandered again and saw that the temple was being decorated.
It was the same temple where he met her first.
He sighed again silently......to control his thoughts from drifting to her!
And looked around to distract himself.
A rangoli was put up at the end of stairs.......His gaze then followed the steps, almost counting them, as his gaze admired the beautiful designs put up in the corner of each step..... After the flight of stairs ended, at the entrance of the temple, another colorful rangoli was put up. He smiled looking at the rangoli as it was beautiful.....a delightful piece of work.....!!
His gaze followed inside the temple.....where baskets of flowers had been kept for the decorations. The fragnance of different flowers melded.....giving the air a unique and beautiful smell.
His gaze wandering......shifted to the pillar that stood to his right, above, on the entrance of the temple.
His gaze shifts up further to see the decorations.....
But was stunned.....
"Radhika"
He saw Radhika, who stood hanging some garlands above, on the entrance, standing near the pillar.....
He couldn't remove his gaze from her......it was after such a long time, he was seeing her.
A smile came across his face....feeling happy....feeling relieved......He felt he was seeing her after an eternity......
She stood above, at the main entrance, above the flight of stairs....trying to hook the garland on to the nail......
He kept looking at her......unable to move his gaze from her beautiful face....
She wore a simple yellow salwaar kameez......her hairs tied. Her face glowing....as the sunrays touched her face.
She stretched on her tiptoes to reach the nails.....and her anklets made sweet sound....
He heard those sweet sounds as he stood near her feet......and this made him shift his gaze from her face to them....
After a second his gaze shifts back to her face......
She was trying to hook the garland and wasn't able to....
He smiled on looking at the expression she made.
But suddenly the words she said to him on engagement day came in front of him.....
Images of engagement day came in front of him......
Radhika looked away. "Aap kyun mera peecha kar rahe hai. Aapko yeh sab karke kya milta hai. Mujhe na aapse baat karni hai nahi aapse milna hai......aap itni si baat kyun nahi samjhte".
Dev felt really bad. Was she so disturbed by me......? he thought.
He looked at her shocked.............
Seeing her speaking these words......it hit him badly......hurt him badly.... he couldn't even utter a word.
She turns to him......
"Main aapse haath jodti hoo....mujhe pareshan karna chod dijeye....aap yahan shaadi ke liye aaye hai....usme shamil ho jaye. Mere paas aane ya baat karne ki jaroorat nahi hai"....she said rudely....her voice cold and curt.
He looked down.
He shouldn't be here....It would again cause her discomfort. And he didn't want to do anything that would give her pain....even if it caused him pain.
He turned away.....and wore his shoes quietly.....as his heart ached. He slowly turned around, to leave from there.
He barely walked a step when he heard a voice.....
"aa....a...."
It was Radhika's voice.....
He quickly turned around.....and saw her on the edge of the pillar.....almost about to fall....her grip on the pillar slipped and she fell down.... "AAH"......
Dev quickly moved towards her....stretching out his arms.
Radhika's heart thumped as her foot slipped and she fell off the edge.....
And Radhika fell on his arms.......
He tightened his grip on her as she landed on his arms......holding her protectively......
Radhika had closed her eyes..... as her heart pounded rapidly.....
Dev kept looking at her.....concerned. Her eyes were closed tightly and hands were crossed across her chest...
For some moments she remained still.....until she realized that she hadn't fallen down but was help up in air.......She felt a pair of strong arms beneath her......
She slowly opened her eyes.....Beneath her lashes she saw a figure standing holding her......
She gradually opened her eyes properly and saw the figure to be Dev.
Her eyes widened....feeling stunned.
She lay in his arms, which were holding her tightly....And he gazed at her lovingly...... His eyes seemed to express so much concern.
She couldn't move her gaze......
She was seeing him after such a long time.....and felt a sudden relief within her heart.....as if an unknown quench has been fulfilled. The desire to see him.......
Her heart wanted to her lips to smile.....
Their eyes remained transfixed on each others......
He wanted this moment to go on forever.....with her being with him like this forever......
Someone called out "Radhika"......
This broke their eye contact......
Vishaka came running to Radhika.....
Dev looked up and Radhika looked away....Her face reddened.....feeling a bit shy as well embarrassed.
He saw this and placed her down slowly.....
Vishaka saw this and stared confused at them.
Dev saw her staring at them.....
"er.....actually Radhika gir gayi....so I just....."
"Oh......." Vishaka interrupted....shifting her gaze to Radhika, who looked a bit flushed "Radhika tu theek to to hai?" she asked concernedly.
"Hmm"......Radhika replied softly
"Thanks a lot....er.....Dev".....she said remembering his name.
"Its fine"....! he smiled.
He glanced once at Radhika, who had composed herself now and was looking down.....
He didn't want to cause her any discomfort.....
He smiled at Vishaka "ab mujhe chalna chahiye"......
"er.....Dev...." Vishaka stopped him....
Dev turned around...... "Jee"
"er.....actually aapne kisi ladke ko yahan mandir ke peeche jaate huwe dekha".... she asked
"er....ladka...." Dev asked
"ha....aap shayad jaante ho.....er....aapko kaise bataoon...." she wondered aloud
"Lekin baat kya hai" he asked
"jee actually....hume mandir jald se jald sajana hai aur......main birju bhaiiya ka intezaar kar rahi thi.... unse mandir main phool malayein lagane ko kehna tha.....".....
Dev looked on.....
"Aur ab meri to itni height hai nahi ke main kar sakoon.... Aur dekhiye na Radhika ne karne ki koshish ki to kya ho gaya....." she chuckled a bit teasing her....
Radhika looked up a bit embarrassed.....
Dev glanced up at her and noticed her embarrasement.
Vishaka continued, oblivious to Radhika feeling embarrassed, "so that's why.....but aap unhe pehchanege nahi anyways....Sorry" she said sweetly....
"er....that shouldn't be a problem.....main aapki help kar deta hoo".... he said
Radhika looked up stunned by this offer.
"jee Dev aap.....nahi aap to mehman hai" Vishaka quipped
"dekhiye mandir main koi mehman nahi hota hai....." saying he smiled
"aapko sach main koi problem nahi hai?" she asked him happily.....
"jee nahi" Dev smiled.
Radhika kept looking at him....a bit stunned.
"To chaliye......." Vishaka said.
Radhika looked away feeling a bit angry.
Why did vishaka had to this now? She could have waited for birju or thought of any other option. Why ask Dev?.....No she cant let that happen.....If he remains near her she will never be able to control her emotions....
She sighed slowly and shifted her gaze to them to protest "er......"
But Dev went along with her sister without even glancing at her once.
She saw them going inside......and sighed giving up...and walked slowly up in to the temple to look after other decorations.
Inside the temple......
Vishaka showed him the place where he had to hang the floral garlands......... The nails were indeed at very good height where Vishaka couldn't have reached.
"Mujhe pata hai mujhe aapse yeh nahi karne ko kehna chahiye lekin......agar nahi kahoongi to mujhe daant padegi.....so I won't hesitate................" Vishaka continued talking while Dev listened to her patiently as they stood inside the temple
She was radically different from her sister. She was very outgoing, extrovert, cheerful , yaking continously.
But Radhika her silence, her one look, her simple smile was enough to make his heart race faster. He wondered.
Radhika seated herself near the Lord.......to complete her work of decoration.
She leaned to take something.....when her gaze fell on Dev, who stood along with Vishaka, listening to her chattering.
She could hardly hear Vishaka's words....as her mind wanted to focuss only on him....
He smiled on to something Vishaka said.....
Seeing him smile....Radhika's heart again missed a beat....and felt a small smile coming to her lips as she kept looking at him
"Hai na Radhika....." Vishaka asked turing her head to Radhika.....
Her voice startled Radhika, making her shiver.....and she shifted her gaze to Vishaka.... "er.....ha...." she stuttered looking away.
Her heart pounded.....realizing what she was doing. She was staring at him with a smile on her face.....
Vishaka......would she have seen her smiling
"Radhika......" Vishaka called her again
Radhika was startled again hearing her voice as she was lost in her own fears "ha..."
"tune suna bhi ke maine kya kaha......kya ha ha kar rahi hai" Vishaka asked teasingly.
Radhika looked away.....
Probably Vishaka didn't notice......Or did she?
Dev didn't look at her......and kept his gaze away from her
Vishaka shifted her gaze to him "Radhika bhi na jab bhi mandir aati hai.....bas kanha ki ho ke reh jaati hai"
Dev gave a small smile......
Radhika looked up......hearing this
"Radhika bhi na jab bhi mandir aati hai.....bas kanha ki ho ke reh jaati hai"
True. She always was lost in trance when she was in the temple near her Kanha.....But now it was not Kanha who was filled in her thoughts....her mind......her heart.....But him!!
"hey Dev kya soch rahe ho"....Vishaka asked
"Nothing"...... "er waise yeh sab tayariyan kyun ho rahi hai"
"are bhool gaye.....janmashtami hai aaj"..... she said
He remembered..... "Oh I forgot completely....." he said
"lo....tum bhool gaye.....vrindavan main rehke janmashtami ke bare main bhool gaye....sach main Dev jee...." she smiled
Dev gave a small smile.....feeling a bit guilty that he forgot!
What shall he do.....Someone was completely making him go crazy......making him forget everything else other than her
His gaze shifted to Radhika, who sat near her Lord, looking down....doing some work.
Vishaka bought a big stool......Dev quickly climbed up and vishaka handed him the garland......
Radhika who sat near the Lord's idol, doing doing some work......glanced up.
He took the garland and hooked it up......
Vishaka gave him another one which he hooked up as well.....
Radhika's gaze lingered on him......but he didn't look at her.
After a moment Radhika reliazed that she was staring at him and shifted her gaze back to the work she was doing.
But her heart kept aching to look up at him.......and she tried ignoring the ache.
She had to be strong.....cannot fall weak!!
They kept doing the work.....and Radhika fought every second with her heart's aching plead to look up at him.......
A few moments passed
"er.... bas thode aur hai......" Vishaka said as he got down the stool.
Vishaka's voice made her glance up again at him.....
He smiled.
Radhika again missed a heart beat.....and looked away.
Vishaka shifts the stool and he climbed up again to hook another floral garland.
He gets down and Vishaka shifts the stool to a corner......."bas itne hi hai......." Vishaka said handing him another garland.
He was about to climb the stool....... when Vishaka warned him "er...... Dev sambhal ke"
Radhika glanced up again
Dev turned her head "jee?"
"er..... who waha ek metal table hai...... uske sharp ends se bachiyega.......pata nahi kisne rakh diya hai...... kisi ko lag gayi to" Vishaka said almost irked.
"hmm" He climbed the stool.
Someone called Vishaka..... "aayi" vishaka replied back and quickly goes running.
Dev sighed as he hung the garland.
He looked down..... but Vishaka wasn't there..... Anyways all the garlands have been hung.
A kid came to Radhika ....... "Radhika didi......"
Hearing her name his heart missed a beat.......
Radhika glanced at the kid and smiled
The kid asked her about some flowers...... "didi pujari jee pooch rahe hai......er.....vishaka didi kaha hai..... unse hi poochna tha?"
"vishaka bahar hai..... dekho bahar hi hogi......" she replied softly.
Dev stood there motionless for a moment..... Why did Radhika say those words that day..... Today when she fell in his arms.... her eyes said something different. There was no harshness. But Happiness. He wondered, puzzled.
He didn't know what was happening with him. What was with her?
He got down the stool wondering...... and didn't realize when his wrists scratched against the metal table beside......tearing his skin.......
"Ah"...... he cried as he felt the pain.
Radhika jerked up her head ......and frowned as She saw him wincing.
He quickly pulled up his hurt hand to assess.......
But her gaze caught the sight of the blood that came out......and Her eyes widened on seeing this.
She quickly got up and rushed to him......as if she had no control to stop herself......
Reaching for his hand "Dikhaye kya huwa" she said and gripped his hand possessively but mildly
Dev was stunned to see this........and his gaze tightened
Radhika was shocked......his wrist was scratched severely. Radhika looked at the injury and then looked up at him.....
Her eyes were moistened......
He was puzzled to see her like this.... She always wanted him to stay away from her....but now his one injury caused her eyes to moisten?
"aapko to bahut lagi hai" she said looking at the injury. Her voice had pain.
He felt that pain.
He kept looking at her puzzled.....as she looked up at him.....
Her gaze met his......and she realized.
His puzzled look made her realize that she had given away her real emotions, which she wanted to hide from him.
She looked away.....feeling scared of what he might interpret from her actions.
Vishaka came in searching for Radhika......
But she found them standing together. She gazed them confusedly and walked across. "are tum dono yahan......."
They heard Vishaka's voice....Radhika glanced up.
Dev didn't shift his gaze from Radhika..... He couldn't.
He couldn't understand why she was behaving like this. Why care for him?
"Kya huwa......" Vishaka stopped when she saw his injury. "Tch.... aapko to chot lagi hai"
Dev glanced at her.... "hmm.....woh jara lag gayi" he replied grimly.
Radhika released her grip and looked on.
"jara..... aapko bahut jyaada lagi hai" Vishaka stated.
"nahi..... itna nahi hai..... main theek hoo...." he said holding his injured hand....in the same place where Radhika held it.
Radhika looked up......Seeing him being so adamant......she interrupted him "Vishaka sahi keh rahi hai..... aapko bahut lagi hai.... aap davayi laga le"
Dev's gaze shifts to her....... and met her gaze for a moment.
"aap shayad drive na kar paayen....." Vishaka replied.
Radhika looked away.
The pain that he felt now was nothing in comparison to the pain in his heart.......
His gaze shifts to Radhika....and he frowned in confusion as he saw a tear drop rolling down her cheeks....which she brushed off quickly before anyone could notice.
"Vishaka sahi keh rahi hai" she said looking at him.
"er..... yahan ek medical shop hai...... main davayi laati hoo...." Vishaka said and shifts her gaze to Radhika.... "tu yahi reh main aati hoo"
He agreed reluctantly.......
His gaze still remained on hers.....feeling puzzled. And she couldn't take away her gaze either....
After a moment.......she looked away....feeling a bit strange.
She asked him to come down the stairs....He followed her.
Reaching near a tap....she took his hand and slowly poured some water on his hand.
He flinched slightly.....as the water touched his bruised skin
She looked up quickly, pulling her brows, concernedly "jyada lagi?" she asked unable to stop herself.
Her concerned tone made him shift his gaze and met hers, filled with concern for him
As she met his gaze.......she realized that she again gave away her emotions in front of him
She shouldn't have done this. She should have controlled her emotions. But she couldn't.....
She looked away and pursed her lips.....still holding his hands.
His gaze fell down.....and his brain tried to find a reason for her odd behaviour.......But couldn't find any......After a second His gaze shifted to her hand that still held hers.......and smiled.
"Radhika......." Vishaka called her.
Radhika looked up.
Vishaka came to them bringing the medicine.
Radhika took him in and quickly applied the lotion and dressed his wound.
Dev looked at her lovingly.....Her eyes reflected pain as if she was feeling the pain he felt....her face had a worried expression.
Is she really concerned for me....her eyes reflecting care, concern and pain. Does she really feel for me?
Radhika looked up for a moment and found him staring at her again.....making her heart skip a beat.
It was not possible for him to not look at her when she was so near.....but he still looked away...
"Jee maine dava laga diya hai" she said softly.
"er.....Thanks" He said shifting his gaze to her.
"sorry...... meri wajah se" Vishaka said feeling guilty
"er..... nahi aapki koi galti nahi thi..... mujhe dhyaan rakhna chahiye tha" he said glancing at Radhika.
"er....main chalta hoo...... ab mujhe der ho rahi hai" Dev said
He quickly got up..... Folded his hands in front of the Lord once. And quickly walked across to his car.
Radhika's gaze followed him......and she ached in pain.
She saw the pain in his eyes. Not because of the injury. But because of the wounds that were caused due to her sharp words.
She shifted her gaze to Kanha.... and kept looking at it...... hoping for some solution.
As she stood gazing at Kanha....... an array of images flashes across her memory.....
How she had no power in stopping herself when he cried in pain...... how she went up to him and gripped his arm possessively...... How she felt her eyes moistening.....
She was surprised by her own behaviour.....!!
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