The Big Shift (rewritten prologue+chap I pg 3)

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Posted: 14 years ago
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Brief Summary:

THE BIG SHIFT
A party loving girl...a strict dad... and a one week medical camp in a remote village..A new friend, A dedicated social worker and a cute volunteer...a tale of India and Bharat-two different countries in one nation...




The rewritten version starts from page 3.
Regards,
Pooja



Edited by Pooj@ - 14 years ago

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Posted: 14 years ago

The Big Shift

 

Prolouge

 

"It's my final warning to you, Dad. It's Paris or nothing......"

 

A humorless laugh escaped his lips.

 

"My own daughter is saying such words to me. Of all the things I have taught you, I should have remembered to have educated you in behavior. Don't you know what should your conduct be with your elders? I have made my choice. You are not going to Paris."

 

"You were never home to teach me anything...Mom taught me everything..........."

 

The man's voice became strained, and Mitali knew she had touched a soft spot......

 

"Don't drag her into this......."

 

"She died because of you.......And don't you say anything......You have no right........"

 

He took a deep guttural breath.........

 

"It's time you became aware of yourself and your responsibilities, and your duty to the people around you."

 

She scoffed at his words. "Oh really? And what is your plan?"

 

He exhaled.

 

"It's decided. You are going as a volunteer in the one week medical camp at Jasaar......"

 

"What? I am not!"

 

"Yes, my daughter, you are......."

 

She knew exactly what Jasaar was........Being familiar with Devashri, she knew what Jasaar stood for.....It represented the Indian rural area, absence of electricity, no cell phone coverage and no other means of communication.

 

In other world, one week isolation from India, in the depths of Bharat..........

Edited by Pooj@ - 14 years ago
ruha thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
Great Dear,will be waiting for moređź‘Ź
Pooj@ thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
Thanks! i am glad that you liked it!
Pooj@ thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago

Chapter One

Day 1

 

 

A cloud of dust hung low over the horizon, and the rickety jeep spewed black smoke as it bounced over the potholed roads.

 

Mitali looked out through the dirty stained glass window of the jeep…….

 

A brown dry monotony of the surroundings was occasionally relieved by a spurt of green…..The day was dry and no generous black cloud was to be seen in the azure sky………….

 

The jeep passed over a pothole, and everyone jumped about a foot in the air….Mitali swore under her breath violently….

 

In the past 18 years of her pampered life, she had never even set foot in a 15 foot radius of such an ancient rickety vehicle…

 

But now, she was being forcibly sent to an obscure village in the interiors of Maharashtra to volunteer in a medical camp, work impartially, unselfishly for thousands of nameless, faceless strangers……

 

The sun was at the top of the sky and its ruthless rays heated up the jeep…..A brief breeze of cool wind was non existent and in the absence of a cell phone, an Ipod or a PSP, the only thing she could do was wait for the one absolutely tiresome week to end……….

 

A fly came too close to her ear and she swatted it away, hoping to swat away her own problems with the same ease….

 

Apart from herself, four passengers were in the jeep, all sitting silently, lost in their own thoughts….

 

Her eyes turned to the woman sitting in the middle seat….Devashri Joshi was a well known social worker, who had struggled against the vice grip of liquor in the state….Devashri Joshi was not beautiful or attractive. Clad in a simple sari, she seemed to be just another housewife, but there was something about her eyes, which set her apart from the rest.

 

Her dark smoldering eyes were eloquent, speaking of the hardships of the rural community and their everyday battles….Her words were few, but the people around her soaked them up faster than a sponge….

 

As Mitali's eyes turned to the woman sitting beside Devashri, her lips curled up in a lazy smile…

 

Jeevana Mukharjee was one big phony, and everyone knew it….Her endless efforts to project herself as a hardworking, dedicated social worker in the NGO went unnoticed…..But wife of a rich business tycoon, seeing hopping in and out of NGOs was more beneficial to her than to be seen flitting in and out through malls and pubs…So Jeevana Mukharjee had stuck to the NGO Sahayaa (Help)…………

 

The third person was a young girl sitting opposite to her…Even though she was pretending otherwise, Mitali was fully aware that the girl had been staring at her for the past ten minutes……

 

Exasperated, she turned her head fully towards the girl…..Blushing, the girl looked away….

 

"Sujala, can you please pass me the water bottle?"

 

The girl hastily passed a water bottle to Devashri, adoration flowing from her eyes….

 

Mitali was now observing her, amused at the small exchange. Sujala was clad in a slightly old salwaar kameez, her hair tied in a small braid and a bindi on her forehead.

 

The overall effect was surprisingly pleasing. Sujala was beautiful in a different, distinctive Indian way…..

 

Sujala looked at Mitali and smiled shyly….

 

Weary, Mitali started the conversation with a smile…. "Hi, I am Mitali….."

 

"Sujala…." She replied in a low musical voice….

 

"How old are you?"

 

"19……and you?"

 

"18 running….What do you do? Are you a student?"

 

"Ummm….yes…I took a nursing course after my 10th board…..I still have one more year to go…"

 

"Cool….."

 

There was silence for a minute, but Sujala turned out to be an ardent conversationalist, and even though Mitali would never admit it aloud, it was interesting and intriguing to talk to her.

 

Born in Jasara, the village where they were currently heading, she was the third daughter of four children. Her eldest sister passed away in an accident and other sister was now married with a child.

 

 Devashri had taken her under her wing, and she had led her life in Pune, studying hard for scholarships, eager to stand on her feet to support the family.

 

"I got the Desai Scholarship for my nursing course…..From your father's company…." She said haltingly……….

 

"What? My father's company offers a scholarship?" Mitali asked incredulously…..

 

Sujala stared back at her, wondering at Mitali's ignorance towards her father's business and charity matters………

 

Devashri managed to prevent a smile from appearing on her face… Atul Desai's idea was working perfectly……..

 

"Oh good. We are here. That's our house" she said proudly.

 

Sujala looked out of the window, a joyful smile illuminating her face.

 

Mitali examined the object of Sujala's delight and pride, trying to keep out her intial prejudice and criticism…

 

The house was a small one, unpainted and untiled, giving a general appearance of dishevelment. Stray hens were pecking in the courtyard and loud moos could be heard from the back. A wall was plastered with cow dung cakes and the dark mud floor too seemed to have been coated with it.

 

A woman stood near the vrindavan of holy basil, looking at the approaching jeep with undisguised eagerness….

 

She took a deep breath. There were going to be long seven days ahead.

Edited by Pooj@ - 14 years ago
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Posted: 14 years ago
I love this story. It's very well-written. And the concept is brilliant!!
Update soon..
Pooj@ thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
Thank you! I am glad that you liked it! I will try to update soon!
*Nishi* thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
yeah nicely written.. looking forward to more :)
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Posted: 14 years ago

Chapter Two

Day two

 

Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

A shrill cacophony pierced the cold dawn air'..

 

Mitali opened her eyes in annoyance and looked up to see a fresh, eager Sujala standing at her feet, beaming at her.

 

She turned the other way, trying to burrow deep into the warmth of her blanket'..The ground underneath was cold and hard, and the first night of sleeping on the ground with a few blankets under and above did not help.

 

Somebody whipped the blanket away from her body and the frosty, bitter air worked as effectively as a bucket of icy water.

 

She sat up; astonished at the courage of the person, and shaken by the sudden cold'..It was Piyush.

 

He had a half amused half exasperated smile on his face as he looked down at the irate and confused Mitali.

 

She pushed her red dyed curly locks away from her eyes.

 

He was another volunteer who had traveled with them'Although they had traveled in the same vehicle for nearly two hours; they had not exchanged a single word'.

 

Exchanging pleasantries when they had been introduced, coldness followed in his demeanor towards her.  

 

But at night, he quietly gave her a large jug of water as she sat down to dinner, which she ignored with a coldness matching to his own.

 

The food was served in a large steel plate, and she sat on the floor, her legs crossed in the traditional Indian style'She fidgeted in her jeans, and tried looking around'Her eyes were watering, a bonus accompanied by the stuffy smell due to the chulha, the mud fireplace, where Sumitrabai, Sujala's mother was making hot bhakris.

 

The reason behind the action soon became clear'. A round, hot brown nachni (finger millet) bhakri landed in her plate.

 

Reluctantly, she broke off a morsel.

 

The seemingly innocent vegetables turned out to be red hot, burning the mouth as they went down her throat'.. Eyes watering and nose running, she quickly stuffed a morsel of chutney to lessen the spicy flavor'..But the chutney was more piquant'.

 

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!" she groaned inspite of herself''..

 

He silently pushed the jug of water towards her. Without pausing for further contemplation, she lifted it to her mouth and drank it like someone who had not seen water for days.

 

         She struggled to get ready and roamed around the house with bleary eyes, searching for her rucksack'..A neatly folded salwaar kameez was draped over it'.She fingered it frowning.

 

"You will need to wear it."

 

She spun around. Devshri was looking at her over her gold rimmed spectacles'..

 

She laughed. "No way'..I am not'..Never. Ever."

 

Devashri weighed her up and down with the full force of her dark eyes.

 

"Here, when I say, you obey. No questions asked."

 

"But why?"

 

Devashri considered her for a moment. "It will help you merge in. When in Paris, do as the Parisians do."

 

Mitali glared back at her. But the dark eyes were unbudging.

 

Recognizing someone she could not defeat, Mitali backed off silently'.Picking up the salwaar kameez, she entered the bathroom.

 

The day was a sunny one. She stepped out of the house and stood in the porch' The air was fresh, likes of which were unfamiliar with her city nose'She sniffed the air eagerly'.

 

Sujala pointed to the house on the top of a hill. "We start there."

 

She picked up a small bag and smiled at Mitali uncertainly.

 

They trudged upwards through the village.

 

The cool shade of the house seemed inviting after the long trek in the harsh sun. A woman, clad in a sari offered them water. Mitali looked inside, while sipping the water meditatively.

 

Her eyes turned to large orbs as she saw a large hulking outline framed in the doorway that lead through the house to the backyard.

 

Narrowing her eyes, she stared intently, trying to make out the figure.

 

"Is that- is that'..a buffalo?"

 

The woman looked at her surprised, before turning back to answer the questions Sujala had been asking her. "Of course it is. Everybody has buffaloes"

 

She gripped Sujala's arm tightly.

 

"I am afraid of buffaloes." She whispered her childhood memory surfacing.

 

"It's all right." Sujala patted her hand absently, continuing with the questionnaire.

 

When the sun set, Mitali was quite glad for the hot millet bhakris, rice and a thick blanket to ease the pain in her aching legs.

 

 

She sat down on the carpet.

 

A cacophony ensured from the back of the house. Sujala was chasing the hens back into their coops. She watched for a moment before joining her.

 

Catching a hen is not as easy as they show on television. Not at all easy.

 

There were ten hens and a couple ofsmall chickens. In daytime they wandered in the backyard, but at night, they were locked up in the coop for protection from hungry dogs and wolves.

 

Eight were already inside. Sujala conquered another one.

 

Only one large proud hen stood, looking at each of them in turn. Mitali advanced on it.

 

It ran from between her legs. Desperately, she ran after it.

 

She accidentally chased it into the house. Squawking in protest the red and yellow commotion entered the kitchen, the nearest room from the back, upturned all the utensils and a box of full of recently shelled peas.

 

Sujala and Mitali looked at each other, their feet submerged in a sea of small, round green peas.

 

The hen ran out in the living room, with Sujala and Mitali hot on its trail. They finally cornered it on the outer porch.

 

The bird looked at each of them in turn and preened its red and yellow feathers.

 

Mitali looked at the hen with a wicked gleam in her eye. She readied herself to pounce on it, when somebody else did.

 

Piyush picked up the hen with ease and returned the offender back to its coop.

 

It gave a loud squawk of protest at the sorry end of the chase.

 

Mitali looked daggers at Piyush.

 

"It was my hen. Why did you catch it?"

 

He rolled his eyes at her ire. "Look at the trail of destruction you both have left in the house."

 

He looked at the other girl. "Sujala, I am better than you at this now! Your student excels the teacher! And by the way, pick up the peas in the kitchen before Sumitra kaku returns from the panchayat meeting with Devashri maushi'or'."

 

"Or what?" Mitali asked haughtily.

 

He just shrugged.

 

Sujala asked timidly, "Mind helping us?"

 

He shoved his hands in his pockets and whistled. "It's none of my business. Besides, it was her hen."

 

When they were picking up the peas, Mitali noticed Piyush sneak in to help them. She smiled inside, keeping her face straight.

 

Filling out questionnaires in a relevant pattern, regarding the health status of eighty three villagers of every age did not exactly leave you with bountiful energy. Nor did crawling on all fours to pick up reprobate peas in the nooks and cranny of the kitchen after chasing a hen the entire length of the house add anything other than extreme weariness.

 

Devashri silently put an extra blanket on Mitali's slumbering form before switching off the emergency lamp.

 

Edited by Pooj@ - 14 years ago
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Posted: 14 years ago
do update soon plz! i love it =)