Descriptive Essay - My car

Originally posted by: AsliiGuy

My first post in this section.......
Wrote this story for a friend because they needed help,and since i like writing, i wrote it for them!
Assignment was a descriptive essay on a topic, I chose driving my car.

             Every morning I wake up to the birds chirping away as if I am listening to a small orchestra on Broadway. Very nice sounds, but walking out is just as good. The sun greets me as a rush of warm rays flow across the serene blue skies like a tranquil water fall making break at the high point. (water falls down - vertically. sunlight spreads across the skies. the comparison here does not work. 😊) You hear a beautiful sense of calmness (how can I hear calmness? calmness is an abstract feeling.) as I walk to my car, neighbor's (remove apostrophe) wave to me as if I was a rock star greeting fans. As I approach my car it reminds me of a roller coaster, waiting to take me on a thrill ride. (excellent comparison) After opening the doors and then sitting in the seats that feel like a warm hug, I start the engine and then listen to its rev as if it were a tiger yawning after a long nap. The power that comes through the steering wheel and gearbox brings back memories of a rocket ship, in the back of my mind I am hearing the count down at the NASA Space Launch Pad...3...2...1.GO. Driving this car can be compared to riding a raging bull during a rodeo, if your hands are not on the wheel you can feel this car pulling away, screaming and jumping to be free. (great comparison - bull/rodeo) If you can control this beast you can make cuts in the road with the precision of a knife, (in a tarmac road? does not work here. you have to specifically state that it is a dirt road or the wheels can't cut into it.)this car's handling carves the road as if it was cheese, the tires and brakes are also superior like a jaguar's claws. The sound from the car while driving is music to my ears, you can hear the exhaust notes rumbling from the engine to the back like rolling thunder during a hurricane. Every increase in speed brings a louder sound. All in all, after getting out of this car, you almost have to peel yourself off as if you have been glued to the seats. The power and share (sheer?) beauty of this car is the same as riding a wild animal, (watch the sentence construction here. power does not equate to riding a car. I think you mean that the rush you get out of riding a car is the same as one would get from controlling a wild animal.) but this animal is something you can control. When leaving the car, I arm the alarm for security with a "beep" that tells me "good bye", it's like parting with a friend after a fun dance. 😉 (nice end.)


Hope you all like it...........😳...I could do better, i also forgot to include the color of the car😭...Descriptive essays use the senses, so I tried to use them all...