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Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships
Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships

Who is a TRUE Friend??

anku2cute IF-Sizzlerz
anku2cute
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Posted: 24 July 2008 at 12:46pm | IP Logged
heyylooo allBig smile
 
I knw we all say ohh he/she is my true /best/close friend...Happy times going on n masti going on...U are happy with ur friends....But a situation arrises...You broke up with ur bf or u had some serious fights wid sum1 and you are always depressed....
 
U see ur best/close/true friend dosent sit with u tht much...Coz they thin they dunt wnt to be depressed and when they r wid u always they also get depressed...
 
Here is a true frend only fr happy times...i knw all wl say no...fine all knw tht
 
But even if things are depressing isnt it ur duty to be wid ur friend...???To support dem in their difficult times...Evn if its at d cost of u being lil sad....
 
What are ur viewsSmile

bewafa IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 25 July 2008 at 4:23am | IP Logged
Well thing is, different people have different values. And values are never right or wrong.
 
But yes, sometimes it does happen that when you need someone to be there and theyre not, coz of the reasons you said above, it does hurt, and when u invest so much into a rship, u DO expect some sort of support back in return. it's not coz ur only in it for the favours, but it is draining to put so much effort into a friendship and then when u need ur frend the most, theyre not there.
 
It IS only through trying times where u realise who's actually ur friend, and who isn't.
 
you know what u should do? give someone else a chance, choose someone else to share ur sorrows with, u never know, u may end up surprising urself as to how much someone u didnt think of may support you.
 
these kinda odd friendships DO exist. but now that u know that that friend doesnt share the same values as you do, i guess it will become easier coz u will not expect them to act like you would in a situation.
i'm not saying that end the friendship, coz even i have some friends like that, who will not get very involved in someone's problems...BUT since i know that, i'm still good friends with them, and we have loads of fun together, but when i am angry or sad, i will go to those who will listen and spend their time with me.
Like that friend gets annoyed at me and tells me not to interrupt my own life for the sake of helping others out...she tells me to watch out for myself first, and in a way she's right. my uni work has suffered a lot.
 
there is more than one way to keep a friendship. and that all comes down to the values both of u have. so, it's not who is right or who is wrong as they are complete different viewpoints.
 
So yeh, don't fret about it, i mean it's hard to get over, but sometimes different friendships r meant to exist at different levels. talk to someone else, take the plunge and trust someone else. you never know, they could surprise u! :D
 
good luck anku dear!
 
p.s. forgot to write: the word, 'duty' implies that someone HAS to do something, whether they like it or not. Friendship isn't a duty. :P


Edited by bewafa - 25 July 2008 at 5:13am
the_charm IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 28 October 2006
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Posted: 25 July 2008 at 5:07am | IP Logged
You know it happens  a lot...it's not that they are only with you in your happy times but they can't help it.
Like if you are upset or sad you tend to scold your friends if they try to console you...I know they should understand you but at the same time it does hurt them.
So I guess both should understand each other's feelings. LOL the question was something else and I gave another reply.

But yeah...if they just avoid you for sometime, it doesn't mean that they are not your friend. When I'm upset, I tell my friends to leave me alone for sometime...and I think everyone needs their own space.

But at the end of the day...u are friends and should stand by each other!


Edited by the_charm - 25 July 2008 at 5:09am
bewafa IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 25 July 2008 at 5:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by the_charm

You know it happens  a lot...it's not that they are only with you in your happy times but they can't help it.
Like if you are upset or sad you tend to scold your friends if they try to console you...I know they should understand you but at the same time it does hurt them.
So I guess both should understand each other's feelings. LOL the question was something else and I gave another reply.

But yeah...if they just avoid you for sometime, it doesn't mean that they are not your friend. When I'm upset, I tell my friends to leave me alone for sometime...and I think everyone needs their own space.

But at the end of the day...u are friends and should stand by each other!
 
hmm...yeh i guess maybe ur friend also thinks that u may want some space to figure out ur thoughts. have u tried talking to him/her about ur problem that ur having?
 
 
the_charm IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 25 July 2008 at 7:13am | IP Logged
^Arre u got me wrong...I am not having any problem. I was just giving an example. :p
anku2cute IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 25 July 2008 at 7:31am | IP Logged
awwww thankooo for such beautiful views...and hehe no probs wid me...waise hi hd dis question in mind so posted
 
@bewafa**sorry yaar i soo forgot ur name..ughh**....-well true some ppl are there who dunt like to get involved too much in d probs...but do u think its their nature or they just dunt wnt to get into probs...
xsweetbabygyalx Senior Member
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xsweetbabygyalx

Joined: 17 July 2008
Posts: 252

Posted: 29 July 2008 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
I don't think our true/close friends don't want to sit with us when we are depressed because they will get depressed. I think it's more of that they don't either want to cheer us up or they don't know how to cheer us up.
 
when our true friends are depressed, they don't want to talk to anyone until they calm down probably because they don't want to hurt their friends, including their closest friends when they are upset.


Edited by xsweetbabygyalx - 29 July 2008 at 3:59pm
anku2cute IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 30 July 2008 at 9:27am | IP Logged
awwww maybe thts also so true :)
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