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New FF: Heer's Secret prt22 pg96 Jun9

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jnawaz

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jnawaz

Joined: 14 September 2006

Posts: 16091

Posted: 13 July 2008 at 12:35pm | IP Logged
hey guys...its me jaz...back with another ff...this one is called
 Heer's Secret
...you will have to read and see what her secret is and why it is a secret...


Brief Character Sketch:
Balraj and Teji Maan- parents to three beaufitul daughters...they all live in Carpenteria, a small town outside of Santa Barbara in California.
Heer Maan- main protagonisht...the one with the 'secret' LOL
Ashlesha Maan- the middle child of the Maan's, very good (daughter and student) not at all like Ash in the show Wink
Meher Maan- baby of the family so is the one who is filled with most masti...also a student...Big smile
Prem Jhuneja- main protagonist/antagonist all rolled up into one WinkWink

Other important people:
1. Aarav Maan
2. Preet Singh
*their details will come up soon enough* Tongue

*others will be introduced accordingly* Big smile


Index:
Part 1 pg 1
Part 2 pg 5
Part 3 pg 7
Part 4 pg 10
Part 5 pg 14
Part 6 pg 18
Part 7 pg 21
Part 8 pg 24
Part 9 pg 28
Part 10 pg 32
Part 11 pg 37
Part 12 pg 41
Part 13 pg 45
Part 14 pg 49
Part 15 pg 55
Part 16 pg 61
Part 17 pg 66
Part 18 pg 70
Part 19 pg 78
Part 20 pg 84
Part 21 pg 90
Part 22 pg 96

**Important Note: Just to set one thing straight from the get go...this is a very modern ff...not traditional in anyway...so pls keep that in mind when reading...dont expect things to be traditional because you will get upset as you read on...if you do not like modern-western story lines...read at your own risk*


Happy Reading all Tongue

JAZ


Edited by jnawaz - 09 June 2010 at 9:24am

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jnawaz

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jnawaz

Joined: 14 September 2006

Posts: 16091

Posted: 13 July 2008 at 12:36pm | IP Logged
Part 1:

It was a beautiful Sunday evening; the sky was glittered with red, yellow and orange colors as the sun was settling down for the day. It had been a long and tiring day. Usually people spent Sunday's relaxing with friends and family, having a good time. However, if you were in the antiques business the weekend was more like the work week and the work week was more like a weekend; Friday, Saturday and Sunday, the three busy days for Old Treasures (Antique Shop). There was always a constant stream of customers and admirers in and out of the shop on those days. The good thing was that her work was now over and for the next two or three days she would have time to spend with the person she missed so much while she was at work.

 Her hands were full with grocery bags, her purse and a notebook, yet somehow she managed to push the kitchen door of her parent's house open. As soon as she set foot into the house she knew something was wrong; the house was quiet, too quiet. "Mom?" she called out, and waited for a response.

 

A few seconds her mother, Teji Maan, came into the kitchen. "Tum aagayi." her mother said. Teji's face was pale, and her eye brows drawn into a slight frown, but none the less a smile, be it fake, was plastered on her face.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

At that moment she knew what something had to be gravely wrong. Her mother never spoke in Hindi, her native tongue, unless the situation demanded it; usually that meant that something great was happening, she was mad at the world, or something had gone terribly wrong. The look on her mothers face told her it was the latter of the three. Her father, Balraj Maan, had been born and raised in Bakersfield, CA. He was a very open and modern man for his times (according to traditional Indian cultures). Her grandfather, Vinod Maan, had come to the US when he was a small child so basically grew up here. Her grandmother, Naina Maan, also grew up in the US.

 

 It was a shock to everyone when Balraj had decided to marry Indian born and raised Teji Chopra. Vinod and Naina still had strong ties to their motherland even if they were raised in the US. It was a tradition that they flew back home to see the family every two years, at least. Balraj at first didn't like it because it was so different from what he was used to. When he had started going to college the visits stopped for almost 6 years, the time it took him to earn is MBA from USC. He had finally gone back for a cousins wedding, and that is where he had met Teji. She was a bubbly, fun-loving girl that stole his heart in one glance.

 

After Teji and Balraj had gotten married they moved into a house in Tehachapi, a small town near Bakersfield, Ca. They ran a successful contract business and raised three beautiful girls. Teji was so taken by the new American culture that the totally changed her ways. She wore jeans and shirts and high heels, she took an ESL class and began speaking English. She was always the cool mom who let her girls express themselves. She was more of a friend than a mother in most cases.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

What scared her the most now was the fact that her mother was speaking in Hindi. The last time she heard her mom speak in Hindi was almost four, four and a half years ago. She had returned from London, where she was going to school for Art History, and dropped the biggest bombshell the family had to ever deal with. That is when the thought occurred to her, but no, it couldn't be...it just couldn't be...not now; not after all these years. Now, she was getting really scared. Her eyes quickly scanned for her three, almost four year old son. "Mom, what happened? Where is Aarav?"

 

Teji twisted the ends of her stylish scarf with her hands, "Darling..." he moms voice finally spoke, almost a soft whisper, "...tum tension maat lo. Aarav bilkul tik hai, woh aapne nana-ji ke saath fishing kaarne gaya hai."

 

She breathed a sigh of relief knowing that her son was off doing one of his favorite things, fishing with her father. It was a regular ritual during the summer for the two Maan men. The went fishing mid-afternoon, and in the evening they came back with the tales of the huge fish they caught but decided to let go because Aarav felt bad for taking them away from their families. But it still didn't settle with her that her mother was still speaking in Hindi. "Mom, if everything is alright, why are you so tensed? Is it Ashlesha or Meher?" she asked.

 

"Nahin...woh dono tik hai."

 

"Then what it is Mom? Mom, you are going to give me a heart attack if you don't tell me what is bothering you...soon."

 

Teji began to shuffle her feet and fidget even more with her scarf, "Aab main tumhe yeh kaise kahoon?"

 

The fear that had managed to die down a few seconds ago, was now back but with more force and fury. Her heart began pounding hard against her chest and her breaths became quick and shallow. "Mom, come on tell me. You are really beginning to scare me now. What happened?"

 

"Heer...woh vaapas aagaya...he's back." her mother finally replied.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



JAZ


Edited by jnawaz - 13 July 2008 at 1:28pm

The following 10 member(s) liked the above post:

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::Prem$_Priya::

IF-Rockerz

::Prem$_Priya::

Joined: 29 December 2007

Posts: 9588

Posted: 13 July 2008 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
Yippeee First!! Will edit soon!! Big smile Embarrassed

salma_786786

Goldie

salma_786786

Joined: 27 March 2008

Posts: 1732

Posted: 13 July 2008 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
hmmmmmm this one sounds interesting.... Heer has a three/four years old son.... OMG how did that happen.... i guess when she went London.... (ahem my city by the way LOLLOL) something very besharam happened LOL... i loved the name Veer... sooo cute..... i want to guess who the father is but i dont know if i should here..... "Heer...woh vaapas aagaya...he's back."sorry this part made me laugh.... coz somethings gna happen now and i cant wait till it does... nothing bad i hope LOLLOLLOL

Jazzu this FF has alot of promise.... you have already creating suspense and a lovely atmosphere.... seems like im addicted already.... ClapClapClap well down you have succeeded Tongue



Edited by salma_786786 - 13 July 2008 at 1:12pm

jnawaz

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jnawaz

Joined: 14 September 2006

Posts: 16091

Posted: 13 July 2008 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
kya yaars...priya and sammu...i saw that i had two comments...toh main toh bhagi chali aayi...and what do i see...'will be back to comment' uff...kya yaar...got my hopes up CryCry...aab jaldi aapni comments update karo naa...im dying to see what you have to say Wink

JAZ

aspatel2

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aspatel2

Joined: 04 October 2006

Posts: 808

Posted: 13 July 2008 at 1:02pm | IP Logged
Awesome pls cont. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon Smile

-Axita Smile

mumpet

IF-Rockerz

mumpet

Joined: 16 August 2007

Posts: 5587

Posted: 13 July 2008 at 1:05pm | IP Logged
OMG...awesome first part! Clap The story seems really interesting!! Embarrassed I have a feeling that I'm going to hate Prem in this one! Ouch I'm sure he is probably the one who is back...and Veer is his son!! Embarrassed LOL

Oh...no Manmeet! Big smile LOL Made my day!! LOL Can you post the second part today too? Embarrassed LOL I'm dying to know just a little bit more! LOL Please? LOL

I'm amazed how the story seems so different from Ek Paal!! Clap Embarrassed I hope there is a Nancy in this FF too! LOL Anyway...continue soon...I can't wait for the next part!! Embarrassed

::Prem$_Priya::

IF-Rockerz

::Prem$_Priya::

Joined: 29 December 2007

Posts: 9588

Posted: 13 July 2008 at 1:07pm | IP Logged
Areey yaar...no worries I'll make my comments longer okies??? happy?? btw I think the title should be Heer's Raaz!! Big smile

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