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KNI Discussion Topic (Page 6)

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annoo

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annoo

Joined: 08 April 2008

Posts: 917

Posted: 02 September 2008 at 2:37am | IP Logged
Originally posted by smile_plus

Hi Anu,

I am waiting for your questions..
 
Thank u Veda for showing so much of enthuWink
I dont know how many of them will respond sincerely to this question...Confused

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MP_Radha

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MP_Radha

Joined: 06 December 2007

Posts: 16315

Posted: 02 September 2008 at 11:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by annoo

OK girls... This is my first question.
  If u had been in a situation like Divya... i.e., knowing that  the person ur parents proposed is ur soulmate, given an option of staying together (ofcourse platonic) Wink... Will u stay with him?
 
 3. A big NO Tongue
 Please give reasons for ur answer Smile
 
 
Anu Akka, first of all, this is my honest answer Tongue.  To the reason why I chose NO for 'living together' is because
1. In our culture, tranditionally, living together was and is not an option, and I highly respect that.  I believe that by staying together under a roof prior to marriage disrespects our culture.  There are many other ways of getting to know each other prior to marriage, i.e. if the marriage is fixed, then there is no problem in the couple dating, and spending as much time as possible (like in your case Anu Akka Tongue).  You're obviously going to be living together after marriage, so why not save all that fun till then. 
2. Now a days in the name of 'love' people are sleeping together piror to marriage ConfusedDead. Now by staying together your are increasing the chances of such cases.  I would never want to have any intimate relationship prior to marriage.  What if the couple develop some differences of opinion and are forced to part......the consequences can be pretty harsh, esp. for the girl.  Divya n Sakthi were one good, yet rare, couple in my eyes. 
3.  Social pressure; if people of my ethnic group found out that I was in a living together relationship even though my parents were ok with that, they would not spare any of us.  They'd keep gossiping and all! 
 
As such, I believe that my values have been shaped by the culture and the society (of course tamil).  Perhaps if I was completely white washed, (western culture) then I wouldn't have a problem with it, but fortunately, I'm not so I'd stick to a big NO!!!!  These are just my opinions and why i woulnd't do it, and I highly respect others' views as well Tongue

smile_plus

Senior Member

smile_plus

Joined: 13 June 2008

Posts: 435

Posted: 02 September 2008 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by annoo

OK girls... This is my first question.
  If u had been in a situation like Divya... i.e., knowing that  the person ur parents proposed is ur soulmate, given an option of staying together (ofcourse platonic) Wink... Will u stay with him?
 
1. Yes.. definitely Tongue
 2. May be.. 50- 50 chances..Confused
 3. A big NO Angry
 Please give reasons for ur answer Smile
 


Hi Anu,

My honest answer is STRICT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Choice #3.

Indian culture is deep rooted in my mind and I can't go against my personal value system.

Moreover, I don't believe in the existence of platonic relationship..Having said that, why would I go for a non-platonic-live-in relation?

This is my guiding principle behind my decision making process: When I look back my life N years from now, I should feel proud of the path that I traversed in life..

I am not ready to take a chance with "Live-in relation"..

annoo

Senior Member

annoo

Joined: 08 April 2008

Posts: 917

Posted: 02 September 2008 at 8:30pm | IP Logged
Thanx Aish and Veda Tongue
Ur reasons r clear.
But my honest answer for this is option 2.May be..50-50 chances Smile
Veda I feel platonic relationships do exists. It might turn out to be non-platonic  only if the stay is prolonged.
I'm not talking about live-in relationships followed in western countries. I talking abt a case similar to KNI,
That too not about agreeing to stay for weeks or months together just to get to know well,but staying together in emergencies like either of them not well,or something like u go for a show together and it gets late to return to ur place... etc
 
 
 

kadhambari

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kadhambari

Joined: 03 August 2006

Posts: 6162

Posted: 02 September 2008 at 8:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by annoo

Thanx Aish and Veda Tongue
Ur reasons r clear.
But my honest answer for this is option 2.May be..50-50 chances Smile
Veda I feel platonic relationships do exists. It might turn out to be non-platonic  only if the stay is prolonged.
I'm not talking about live-in relationships followed in western countries. I talking abt a case similar to KNI,
That too not about agreeing to stay for weeks or months together just to get to know well,but staying together in emergencies like either of them not well,or something like u go for a show together and it gets late to return to ur place... etc
 
 
 
i agree with u anu & i was abt 2 write the same daa.............if i had given a chance------i will consider if the person is genuine(ofcourse parent's choice naa) & within limits......it is possible 2 stay within limits like Divya & Shakti did........so no harm according 2 me.
 
At the same time i dun acknowledge going overboard b4 marriage.......................ppl shudn't use this as an opportunity 2 cross the limits b4 marriage........due 2 western influence.


Edited by kadhambari - 02 September 2008 at 8:43pm

annoo

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annoo

Joined: 08 April 2008

Posts: 917

Posted: 02 September 2008 at 8:48pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by kadhambari

 
At the same time i dun acknowledge going overboard b4 marriage.......................ppl shudn't use this as an opportunity 2 cross the limits b4 marriage........due 2 western influence. Exactly my sentiments. I forgot mention tht i dont approve crossing limits before marriage Smile Thanx for mentioning it, Ambi.

MP_Radha

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MP_Radha

Joined: 06 December 2007

Posts: 16315

Posted: 02 September 2008 at 9:10pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by annoo

Originally posted by kadhambari

 
At the same time i dun acknowledge going overboard b4 marriage.......................ppl shudn't use this as an opportunity 2 cross the limits b4 marriage........due 2 western influence. Exactly my sentiments. I forgot mention tht i dont approve crossing limits before marriage Smile Thanx for mentioning it, Ambi.
 
 
Well said Ambi!!! 
 
With regards to the western culture, after the age of 18, the young adults are required to move out of their parent's house, and hence quite a bit of them find a partner (BF/ GF) with whom they share a room/ apt/ house, i.e. live together.  But this western culture has already influenced a lot of asians.  Even without living together, many are crossing their limits prior to marriage, and I'd blame their immaturity for that!  So if they want to live together they must be mature and be able to think about their future, like Sakthi n Divya.  I doubt today's youngsters (not all thougth) will be follow to this rule.  

sankadevi30

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sankadevi30

Joined: 11 January 2007

Posts: 5536

Posted: 02 September 2008 at 9:15pm | IP Logged
ahh discussion started let me post my answer soon

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