Originally posted by: aisha_muka1980
Marriage, be it love or arranged, most often involves the bride moving out of her parents' house and into either her in-laws' or her husbands' house. What is the bride's state of mind at this point in time and how can it be tackled?
Those belonging to the Single's corner, feel free to answer based on your observations. But I guess this question is mainly for those who've actually gone through this....
My answer ...
The night after my engament, this was the same question struck on my mind and got me so tensed dat night and i end up being awake whole ngt 😭😭 I was very much worried on how im goin to live with another family. Though me and vinod was couples for 4 years, the thought of living with his family tensed me up. The next day, i spoke to my parents. I told them how scared i was as i dun know my inlaws much, i dun know how to cook, i'm so used to sleep up late on sundays, i love wearing shorts & spagetthi etc ... how am i going to cope or change myself. My mum said she sacrifice and accepted all the changes because of the love she had for my dad. And my dad suggested me to spend more time with my inlaws, be open to them and tell them what im afraid of. The third day after my engament, i called up vinod, told him i wanna spend a day with his parents. the whole sunday i spend with them. They were such great inlaws and his sister was such a sweet pie. I told to my MIL i don't know how to cook, and lots of other stuff. My FIL said i can learn how to cook and its not going to be a big thing. He told me to be just what i am, no need to change myself for them. Till i got married, i made most of my sundays spending time with them to get myself suited and to know them better 😉
This kind might not be agreed by certain families. The idea of spending a day in laws place before wedding. Especially in india, i suppose. But well, i feel thats the best way. It makes u feel more comfortable. I do admit lots of things we sacrifice living with them. But you have to keep on thing in mind, its not us only need to do the adjustment or sacrificing. As a MIL & FIL, they too had to start changing their lifestyle having a daughter in the family. The son needs to spend more time with his wife and so their time with their son will be much lesser. The son might no longer share secrets or problems with them. They need to accept the fact there is someone for their son right now. Most mothers feel insecure when a girl comes to their son's life. Mother normally does all things for the son, but after marriage, its the wife. So try not to take all responsiblities from her. I know attai loves to serve food for vinod every night. 5 years of marriage life, i never took that away from her. I will heat up food, and she will serve vinod. She told me to take over, but i said no ... its the only bond or love or something that they both share.
As a guy, ur husband too sacrifice lots of things. Eg like his been living all alone (well u know guys😉) messy, or maybe not so organised. So they will need to change their habit and it will be a bit of stress for them too. Especialy in sharing bathrooms 😉😉 even worse is sharing the bed 😉😆😆.
So you see Aish Hun.. its not only us get tensed up on moving with inlaws, they too face the same thing, getting a new member into the family. Its hard for both parties daa. Im saying this on behalf of myself, vinod and my inlaws ... 😃😉😊
😲😲 sorry for writing so longgggggggg ...............
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