Hi all: Thanks for all your comments. Have been a bit busy lately. Apologize for being late with the update. I promised a friend to make this part slightly mushy...So it's kind of like a filler...
Part 13A
"Bani, are you awake?" his voice was barely audible.
She nodded against his chest, but didn't reply.
"Why do I feel like my life is falling apart when it just began?"
She stiffened against him. His words hurt her deeply.
"When I married you, I knew that it's what I wanted, it was you I wanted in my life. I wanted to get old with you. " he stopped in the middle to sigh. "But I wanted my family to be with me as well. I wanted maasi, dadi, Adi, Jigyasa, her kids and Nachiketh." He paused again.
"Did our own family ever come into the picture?" Bani asked with a frown on her face.
"Our family? Your family and my family, yes of course!" she hated his obtuse answer.
"No! Our family, yours and mine, our kids, our grandkids." Her heart was breaking in tiny pieces.
A shuttered expression came to his face. "I promised Nachiketh that he would be my heir!"
"Did you conveniently forget to tell me about it? Or you just assumed that I am in so much with you that I wouldn't think of having any children?" Bani flushed with anger.
"God damn it, Bani! Don't you understand? He left home because of me! Because I got married to you! I can't find him anywhere. For all I know he could be dead!" his voice broke.
"Are you regretting that you married me, Jai?" she sat up, asked him with a slight hesitation.
He was scared to look into her face. But he knew that he couldn't survive without her being here. He reached for her lap and hid his face in it.
"Bani, I love you! Please don't leave me, I just couldn't survive if you left me!" his arms went around her slender waist.
She gently turned him over to see his reddened eyes. He tried to cover his face with her arm. Her eyes honed in on his bottom lip that quivered slightly.
"We will find him! We will find Nachiketh, lot of kids run away from home but eventually they come back!" she kissed him on the arm that was covering his eyes.
"I am a bad brother, Bani, and a bad husband! I was not a good son either, I broke my promise to my father." His grief was enormous and it broke through the tight control he masked it under.
"You are not a bad husband or a bad brother, Jai! He was the one who was selfish. He thought that your life should revolve around him. He is not a little kid anymore. He is 16 years old! Old enough to understand that his brother needs a wife and a family of his own." Bani didn't mince words.
"I am not ready for a family, yet! May be in a few years, after Nachiketh leaves home for college." Jai knew that he wasn't being fair to Bani. For some reason, it never occurred to him that she would dream about having her own kids.
Bani felt the rage building in her. He never even thought of protection.
"What if I am pregnant now? Have you ever considered that people who have been having normal conjugal relationships have babies if they are not using birth control? If I have a baby now, would you tell me to abort the baby? Would you have guilt for the rest of your life because you married in me haste?" Bani shook with anger.
He sat up on the bed, his long legs swinging to the floor. His bare back was turned toward Bani. Her words shocked him, he never thought of protection, hell…he never thought of him and Bani having babies. All of a sudden, a vision of Bani walking with him in the part, with a swollen tummy appeared in front of his eyes, a small girl in between him and Bani, holding both their fingers tightly. She looked exactly like Bani, except long, curly hair framed her elfish face. His heart melted and a smile appeared on his face.
"You could be pregnant?" he swung back to look at her. "You and I could be having a baby soon?" he questioned her unsteadily.
She didn't reply. She was still upset with him, for being the brute he was.
"Bani? Look at me! I am really sorry for what I said earlier…I didn't mean anything, I never thought…" he stopped short, everything he was saying was coming out wrong.
She fell on the bed, her face in the soft pillow. The pillow soaked with her warm tears. His arm encircled hers and he laid his head on her back.
"I am sorry! I am so sorry! I am such a selfish ba***rd! I should have taken your feelings into consideration. You probably want half a dozen children." He laughed, trying to evoke her humor.
She stopped sobbing. "Make it a dozen! It's punishment for being such a callous husband." She turned to smile at him.
"Are we starting it soon?" sweat broke on his upper lip.
She nodded. "I am pregnant."
"Why didn't you tell me?" but he knew the answer. He was busy with his own woes and Nachiketh missing.
"I got a confirmation from the doctor a few days ago!" She gave him the affirmation.
"How many weeks?" the small talk was slightly forced. He wanted to take her in his arms and touch her stomach badly.
"Nine weeks. My doctor told me that we need to go for regular checkups and I have to get sonogram done to make sure if the baby is OK. We have to go for Lamaze classes together and she said I will grow big in my third semester."
He stopped thinking for a minute. "What we did yesterday…is that OK for the baby?"
She laughed softly. "What did we do yesterday?" she teased him.
"Yes, you know all the things that we did, is it safe for the baby?" he traced a finger on her still flat stomach.
"I guess so! Why don't you come and ask the doctor yourself?" she sneaked a look into his confused face.
"I will do it! When you were planning to tell me?" Jai was curious.
"When you were in a better mood."
He leaned back against the beds and pulled her onto him. "I have to take care of you Bani! I have to make sure that my family is well taken care of." He kissed her on the top of her head.
"Jai, you don't have to take all the burdens of the family onto yourself. Marriage is a partnership, not husbands taking care of wives." She buried her face into his naked chest.
"I want to…I like to…it's a man thing, we feel more grounded when we have families to look after." He smiled.
"Well, this woman wants her man to be at her side, not ahead or behind. Behind an every successful man, there is a woman, and behind every successful woman, there is a man. But with us side by side, no one can beat us!" she dropped tiny kisses on pectorals.
"You have to stop that! I am not going to make love to you until I see the doctor and he confirms it's safe for us to be together." He pushed her away.
"You are no fun! He also said that you have to keep me happy." She sulked.
"And I want you to stop going on these field trips with Tarun!" his face turned grim.
She immediately stopped wriggling to get close to him.
"Are you jealous, Jai?"
He took a calculated risk. Knowing women, he knew that he will have better luck with her leaving him, if he told her that he was jealous than if he said that he didn't like her working too hard.
"Yes, I am jealous like hell, I don't want to you to go anywhere near that turd." Jai looked at her sheepishly.
"Jai, you are crazy!" she blushed. She felt her heart racing at his possessiveness.
"Yes, I am crazy! Crazy for you!" he grabbed her and kissed her lips hard, making her squirm with need.
"Crazy like a fox! Knowing you, you are probably devising a plan to make me stop working." Bani smiled at his plans.
"Damn, you are a clever woman, no one can dupe you." He was constantly amazed by how smart she was.
"Jai! I am going to have the baby about the same time as my aunt." She looked slightly embarrassed.
"So? Pallavi is not old, she is the same age as I am."
"You are old!" she pulled his leg.
"Really, is that what you think?" He tickled her.
"Yes, you are ancient!" she wriggled, trying to stifle her laughter.
"I will show you how old I am!" he pinned her underneath him. The proximity making his body react in a familiar manner.
"I thought you were going to wait till you asked the doctor?" she bit her lip so she could stop smiling.
"May be just this once, and I will be gentle!" he stopped her snickers with his mouth.
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Please leave your comments. I will respond to you tomorrow....😃😃😃
Edited by Sheena_Row - 15 years ago
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