Posted: 07 June 2008 at 1:50pm | IP Logged
This is how the week went for the next three days as well. Saagar was always bitter and Rhia had learned better than to even attempt to talk to him. What little friendship they had left seemed to have died along with their love. No matter how hard they tried to avoid each other, they were forced to talk for some matters. Those talks kept Rhia up at nights with their unpleasant memories. She shuddered when she recalled Saagar's aggressive manner, his intense eyes, his cold tone. She couldnt understand why he was so angry at her. Was it because she had chosen Ritesh? But why had he not behaved this way when she told him her decision that very day? Right there and then, she decided to confront him. She would find out what had gotten into Saagar, even if it killed her.
The next day, she made sure to bump into him. As usual, their interaction was short and sour. He walked away after criticizing her ideas, but this time, she followed him. As they walked through the workplace, she talked to him firmly from behind.
Rhia: Saagar we have to talk
He continued to walk and ignore her pleas.
Rhia: Saagar, what the hell as has gotten into you lately? Talk to me? Why are you so angry all the time.
Saagar (over his shoulder): Leave me alone Rhia, I'm not in the mood for useless talk.
She quickened her pace to catch up to his larger strides.
Rhia: Saagar why are you mad at me?
He mounted the staircase, and she followed, right on his trail.
Rhia: What have I done? Answer me! Dont run away, Saagar!
He waved her away with the back of his hand, and continued walking to his office. Rhia, knowing that he was planning to lock her out, sprinted the remaining distance, and blocked the door right when it was about to shut in her face. Slamming it open she strode in.
Rhia: Ok! I've had enough! What the hell is going on?
She shut the door and locked it in place. Saagar's eyes widened when he saw that.
Rhia (advancing towards him): We're not getting out of this room until we straighten things out, you hear me?
Saagar turned around and started to manage some papers strewn upon his desk as a diversion. She snatched them out of his hand and tossed them away.
Rhia: LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!
Rhia (speechless): Why? What kinda dumb question is that?
Saagar (walking away again): I dont have to give you any explanation. Get out of my office now.
Rhia: What's happened to you? (follows behind him) Why are you so angry at me? This isnt what I had in mind after we...
Saagar (filling in her thoughts): Broke up?
Rhia (swallowing hard): Decided to part ways...Saagar, you cant blame me! You know why i took that decision
Saagar (cooly): Did I say I blamed you?
Rhia: No, but its pretty damn obvious. Anyone with an eye could sense that.
Saagar: Whatever, this is pointless. I dont wanna talk about this.
Rhia (pulls his arm): We WILL talk, and you will NOT leave this room till we do.
Her eyes were sparking with emotions. She didnt remember the last time she had felt this worked up. He sat down on the desk with his head down, stubornly refusing to cooperate. This only made Rhia angrier. She started talking fast, letting the words out in a stream, not understanding half of them herself, but she couldnt help it. She was angry and confused. Saagar didnt look up even once. She marched up to him and lifted his head up.
Rhia (furious): I asked you for one thing! One thing, and you couldnt give me that. I asked you for friendship, and instead, you choose to HUMILIATE me everyday in front of everyone at work, and talk to me as if I'm some crap laying around in you office! You realize how frusterating that is? WHO ARE YOU? I dont even know you anymore!
He listened with stoned eyes. It was as if he had sealed himself off, not reacting to anything she said, until finally he burst out.
Saagar (shouting): I CANT DO THIS OK!
Saagar (getting off the table): This drama! This pretentious game of being "ONLY A FRIEND". I"m sorry Rhia, but i cant be JUST a friend to you (emphasizing the word just), ok, I cant just NOT love you. I cant just not want you! I'm not like that. I do what I feel, and am what I feel, and woman, you damn well know that what I feel towards you is not even CLOSE to JUST friendship
This time his eyes were blazing, and Rhia was speechless. His outburst had been the last thing she was ready for. She had hoped that the reason for his silence could be resolved as cordially and neatly as possible. That wasnt going to be the case.
Rhia: But then...why have you been behaving this way? Why do you hate me?
Saagar stared at her incredulously.
Saagar: Hate you? HATE you? God Rhia!
He turns around and covers his head with his hands as she looked on feeling more confused than ever. He turned around and his face was a river of emotions. Angry, frustrated, sad, helpless, all at the same time.
Saagar: I WISH i hated you! God, how I wish I hated you. Then I wouldnt have to tortured the way I'm being tortured right now.
He advanced towards her, and she shuffled back, afraid of his aggression. He cupped her face and pulled her close to him, inches away from his face, and pierced her with his eyes.
Saagar (whispering full of emotion): Look at me... look at me! I'm a mess Rhia. I havent slept this entire week coz I spend every night tossing adn turning in bed, wanting you with such intensity that I drive myself insane with the thought of never finding you again. God damn it, then I see you at work, and I get angry. I get furious knowing that you're this close, but you're not mine. Knowing that I almost had you, but I lost you.
He was speaking fast, holding her close, impacting her with every word until she felt she was shredding apart.
Saagar (even an even lower voice, barely above a harsh whisper): I"m a spoilt brat Rhia. I get what I want. I've ALWAYS gotten waht I wanted. When I parents couldnt provide something for me, I worked for it myself. I'm a self made man, and I've NEVER lost anything. NOTHING. Except one, one. One thing that I've wanted mroe than anything else in life. And that's you! I'm not happy Rhia, I'm NOT happy. I've lost you, and its killed me. I want to hate you, and i wnat you to hate me. I get so angry when I see you, and I let all my frustrations out on you, hoping that you will hate me then, so then I can hate you. But even then, I just want you even more (carresses her cheek) You drive me crazy. Your face, your voice, your scent, your attitude, everything about you drives me crazy. God I want you even now
His eyes were intense as he said that and she shuddered as his lips nipped her ear and then he backed away, his eyes blazing once more.
Saagar (voice shaking with the torrent of emotions he felt): Help me Rhia. I'm dying inside. I'm dying day and night thinking about you. (pulling her even closer) I die a little more each and every day. I'm in hell. Save me, I'm in hell. I'm in hell and I'm burning for you (his voice all but vanished by that last part)
And that's when all resistance shattered.