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Too Much At Stake // PM, AK // Chp 5 Pg 10! (Page 5)

SuhanaSafar IF-Rockerz
SuhanaSafar
SuhanaSafar

Joined: 09 December 2006
Posts: 5226

Posted: 22 May 2008 at 12:43am | IP Logged

Originally posted by deeya123

nice part
lukin fwd for ak meet

Thanks Deeya!  AK meet coming up in next chapter.

Originally posted by sameira-90

hey great part.. continue soon Clap Clap Clap

Thank you Sameira!  Will continue in a few days.

Originally posted by Dark Love

Rabia!

If you haven't already glanced at the username...guess who it is? XD LOLLOLLOL Guess who's finally almost done with the most third most stressful week of the year? (Cuz finals and midterm are one and twoLOL)

The first thing I did when I got home was read this :P and I don't wanna be killed for not commenting, so here I go! ;]

Chapter 1

Woah woah woah! So did Saakshi just deliver Namrata's baby in the middle of a forest! :o

How cool is that! This tells me there's gonna be a bunch of action in this one! Awww baby Mukti's description is soo cutee!

Saakshi's a sweet maid, usually, many of em aren't as considerate as to give the wife privacy while she talks to her husband LOL

What's SPC? And where's Shekhar? And seems like their lives are in danger, so is that why they're separate? Shehkar wants his wife and child to be safe, so he hid em.

So since Namrata dropped the phone, did Shehkar hear her words? Wink

I wonder where Saakshi will end up taking Mukti! And what will happen to Namrata!

Ahh this is bothering me! Continue soon soon soon! The chapter was just as I expected it to be - Rabia style - detailed, well -written, and imaginable! =D



Chapter 2

This one was perfect in the descriptive category, and the imagery was just beautiful! Like I've told you before, I've never watched KZK, so I'm not familiar with this couple much, but since I've seen pictures, I could imagine them in my head, and what I loved the most about the character descriptions was the fact that I could picture it all, like Mukti's wavy hair and Prem's GAP shirt and shorts; usually it's hard to picture people in a totally different way, like a very conservative girl wearing a mini skirt and such, unless it appears on TV or something, so your descriptions of them in average clothes added to the perfection!

I love the subtle foreshadowing with the whole Angad Khanna appearing on TV for his engagement and such, and Mukti thinking of it as worthless news. It sounds like she's either 1) familiar with who he is or 2) not familiar, and she could really care less. That was a great way of introducing the news about him getting engaged to! Those eager to know about Angad already know one more thing about him through the Prem-Mukti chapter! =D

News about the Prime Minister, blah blah blah. And she wants to be a network engineer. I love her attitude, but she's quite the nerdish Geek oneLOL

LMAO! Prem the flirt amuses me. He stares at her, and then when she turns he stares at the other girl. What an annoying guy LOL Mukti has full reason to be peeved by that one :P

Ah, he's one of those, 'I'm not letting you go so easily babe' types LOL

Haha! Poor Mukti's sprinting on that treadmill, burning more and more calories, pushing herself really really hard, yet the guy doesn't get the hint and continues chatting. Uff.

Model or Actress. Another flirting attempt! Tsk tsk tsk boy.

OMG! I am srsly LMAO at this one:

After taking a glance at it, he stopped his treadmill.  "Sorry, mujhe jaana hoga."

Shaukh se chale jaaiye, Mukti said in her mind.

ROFL


And he still doesn't give up, love the parting line. Today you got a few words, next time you'll get the smile. The package doesn't come all at once. LOL
Aha! So he was checking her out! He couldn't have seen her eyes until she turned around cuz he was next to her, so lame excuse Premmyy boy LOL

Prem will save her life?! O.o! Okay, I don't like suspense (when reading, while writing, it's so much fun!) so you better continue soon!

I absolutely loved the chapter! After a tiring day, it's really refreshing to come home and read something so well-written with some sarcasm in the dialogues and some amazingly amusing scenes!

Your utilization of exuberant language really was the cherry on the top for this delicious strawberry ice cream :P (I sound like such a fat kid!)

Keep it up! ClapClapClap

Damn girl!  You really took my threats seriously didn't you?  Well, I don't mean to take you away from your school work, but I do love your comments!

Sakshi did deliver the Namrata's baby in the forest....the reasons as to why they were there and Shekhar wasn't with them basically form the crux of the mystery.  So don't expect to know the truth anytime soon. Wink Awww...I'm glad you though it was a detailed and imaginable chapter.  I did my best to make sure I was painting a picture with my words.

You know, I've never watched KZK either!  lol.  I've just watched a few short scenes of Prem and Mukti together and I think they make an adorable couple.  Of course, the characterization in my story is probably completely different from the show.  I think you've grasped the essence of who Prem and Mukti are pretty well.  Mukti is indeed somewhat nerdy, but she's also very confident and slightly arrogant.  Prem is flirtatious, fun and carefree.  About the Angad foreshadowing...I was afraid to disappoint AK fans for a second chapter in a row, so I decided to give Angad a brief mention.  The way I thought it out, Mukti may have heard of Angad, but she doesn't really care about what's going on in his over-advertised life.  She's only interested in serious issues that matter.

Thanks for the long review!  Love ya!!! Hug 

monikaseth IF-Sizzlerz
monikaseth
monikaseth

Joined: 10 June 2005
Posts: 23359

Posted: 22 May 2008 at 2:05am | IP Logged
awesome mindblowing dear . Clap
mintfresh Senior Member
mintfresh
mintfresh

Joined: 17 July 2006
Posts: 916

Posted: 22 May 2008 at 2:08am | IP Logged
sorry couldn't comment earlier
the story is getting really interesting with each chapter,u r doing a wonderful job Clap
prem LOL LOL pehli mulaqat mein hi shuru hogaya LOL LOL .angad is engaged to that mishty Angry Dead .now how will ak unite ? Confused clumsy kripa LOL LOL would love to see how angad looks out for herWinkWink . where r namrata and shekhar?is saakshi with mukti.
eagerly waiting for next part. Smile
bheegi IF-Sizzlerz
bheegi
bheegi

Joined: 05 June 2006
Posts: 23844

Posted: 22 May 2008 at 5:56am | IP Logged
Thanks for the PM Rabia...I am already loving this story. I like the way u introduced the flash back and have now fast forwarded to the present. All character sketches are wonderful Clap Clap

Prem seems like a cutie pie- shareef badmaash kinds Wink

Mukti- seems serious, straight forward and goal oriented

Will find more about AK in next chapter I guess Smile

Looking forward to next chapter Clap Clap Clap
cutie13 Senior Member
cutie13
cutie13

Joined: 17 July 2007
Posts: 806

Posted: 22 May 2008 at 6:41pm | IP Logged
gr8 part
i am sorry i didnt comment i was just little busy
but i think prem is like a happy-go-lucky type and mukti is like serious type LOL
cant wait for ak in next chapter
cont soon
SuhanaSafar IF-Rockerz
SuhanaSafar
SuhanaSafar

Joined: 09 December 2006
Posts: 5226

Posted: 22 May 2008 at 11:15pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by monikaseth

awesome mindblowing dear . Clap

Thank you! Hug

Originally posted by mintfresh

sorry couldn't comment earlier
the story is getting really interesting with each chapter,u r doing a wonderful job Clap
prem LOL LOL pehli mulaqat mein hi shuru hogaya LOL LOL .angad is engaged to that mishty Angry Dead .now how will ak unite ? Confused clumsy kripa LOL LOL would love to see how angad looks out for herWinkWink . where r namrata and shekhar?is saakshi with mukti.
eagerly waiting for next part. Smile

No problem hun!  Glad you found time to read now.  Yup, that's Prem for you...A compete flirt.  I made Angad's situation a little complicated didn't I?  Well, don't worry...abhi sirf sagaai huwi hai, shaadi nahin. Wink  There will be many opportunities for him to look out for clumsy Kripa.  The mysteries surrounding Namrata, Shekhar and Sakshi will have to remain a secret for a bit longer....It'll all come out eventually.  Thanks for reading!

Originally posted by bheegi

Thanks for the PM Rabia...I am already loving this story. I like the way u introduced the flash back and have now fast forwarded to the present. All character sketches are wonderful Clap Clap

Prem seems like a cutie pie- shareef badmaash kinds Wink

Mukti- seems serious, straight forward and goal oriented

Will find more about AK in next chapter I guess Smile

Looking forward to next chapter Clap Clap Clap

Thank you sooooo much di for coming here and posting a review!  I really appreciate it.  I'm glad my character development so far is successful.  Everyone seems to be imagining Prem and Mukti the same way that I see them in my mind.  There will indeed be more about AK in the next chapter.  Thanks again for reading.  Will post the next chapter within a couple days.

Originally posted by cutie13

gr8 part
i am sorry i didnt comment i was just little busy
but i think prem is like a happy-go-lucky type and mukti is like serious type LOL
cant wait for ak in next chapter
cont soon

Thanks hun!  And no probs...feel free to comment whenever you have time (if you remain interested)...I just wanted to make sure everyone knew that the FF had been started.  Your characterizations of Prem and Mukti are perfect!  But I'm going to make sure my characters are not too one-dimensional...They'll have some complexities which will ultimately become clear.  Thanks again for the review!

misscool Groupbie
misscool
misscool

Joined: 22 May 2007
Posts: 81

Posted: 23 May 2008 at 10:29am | IP Logged
excelent Tongue wow Tongue nice work
keep it up Clap u realy doing hard job Clap
see u soon
bubixxxxxxxxxx Wink
guju_girl1 IF-Rockerz
guju_girl1
guju_girl1

Joined: 16 December 2006
Posts: 5132

Posted: 24 May 2008 at 11:13am | IP Logged
hey great work continue soon Smile

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