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lawyer jokes

masoom_shararti Senior Member
masoom_shararti
masoom_shararti

Joined: 24 November 2006
Posts: 275

Posted: 14 May 2008 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two five-year-old boys were getting acquainted.
"My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Adam," replied the second.
"My daddy is a doctor. What does your daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua.
Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Joshua.
"No, just the regular kind," replied Adam.

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A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

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A prominent lawyer's son dreamed of following in his father's footsteps. After graduating from college and law school with honors, he returned home to join his father's firm, intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney.

At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, father! The Smith case, that you always said would go on forever -- the one you have been toiling on for ten years -- in one single day, I settled that case and saved the client a fortune!"

His father frowned, and scolded his son, "I did not say that it would go on forever, son. I said that it could go on forever. When you saw me toiling on that case for days and weeks at a time, didn't it ever occur to you that I was billing by the hour?"

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Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, "There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?" The doctor answers, "The Titanic" and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, "How many people died in that ship?" Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, "1 500!". St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice, "Name them!".

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There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, ?You're beautiful!? and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said ?You're cute!? Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of ?beautiful? it was ?cute.? She said ?What happened to ?beautiful?? His reply was ?The drugs are wearing off!?



Edited by masoom_shararti - 14 May 2008 at 7:56pm

sabm786 IF-Rockerz
sabm786
sabm786

Joined: 15 January 2008
Posts: 8013

Posted: 16 May 2008 at 10:26am | IP Logged
lolz... thans for sharing
they were great
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