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FF:Bhulbhulaya #2 LAST PART PG-67 12/11 (Page 67)

teju22 Senior Member
teju22
teju22

Joined: 27 September 2008
Posts: 448

Posted: 07 November 2008 at 2:54pm | IP Logged
Hey very nice story and very nice update especially the last one awesome  i actually read all the 40 parts and then posted a comment it took me a couple os days but i finally finished it anyways nice story and by the way i wondering if u could  plz pm me when u write the next part plz thanks Smile

Edited by teju22 - 07 November 2008 at 2:55pm

x-Ridzzie-x Senior Member
x-Ridzzie-x
x-Ridzzie-x

Joined: 25 October 2007
Posts: 992

Posted: 08 November 2008 at 3:58am | IP Logged

Heyy pinky…I fink ive lost it…

 

Im sorry I didn't comment on yur earlier part….i reseverd I tso I cud be 1st 2 comment…..buh something turnd up nd I had 2 go…den I 4gt 2 comment L sorri

And again sorri 4 commenting late…

 

Buht the parts wer amazing….devyana iz jus pure evil…I cant believe she nearly killd ridz by suffercating her…

 

Luv da AR scenez in da ff…haven't seen it round her quite a while cuz of da witch here…lol

 

Omg der wer all so close to getting married aswell….nd again the target was ridz….pooor girl…

 

Omg nooooo nt da eye thing again…how can she go inside ridz body again…dat cant happen…hope der realize its nt ridz…

 

Thnx 4 da pm

 

Luv ya…Bless

Ridz,

.x.

sarafs1525 Senior Member
sarafs1525
sarafs1525

Joined: 28 February 2007
Posts: 500

Posted: 08 November 2008 at 11:36am | IP Logged
omg pinky the part was amzaing and devyana got into ridz body Ouch
update soonBig smile thanx for the pm
~Sara
bhanu_rekhag IF-Stunnerz
bhanu_rekhag
bhanu_rekhag

Joined: 19 October 2007
Posts: 37454

Posted: 09 November 2008 at 8:57pm | IP Logged
wow one more suspense n quite interesting !!!!!!!!

lovely part!!!!!!!!!

marriages for all 3 pairs n
loads of tension but stopped abruptly!!!!!!!!

wow once again devayi entered ridz!!!!!!!!
complete suspense!!!!!!!!!
can't wait for next n last part!!!!!!!!!!

once again very bad !!!
stopped at such a suspense moment!!!!!!!!

make the other part sooooon!!!!!
 Ican't beleive!!!!!!! its the last part!!!!!!!!!!!
noooooooooooooooooo
i am very sad!!!!!!!!

but waiting 4 next part 2 see wht happens!!!!!!!

update the other part ASAP!!!!!!
pinky_5 IF-Dazzler
pinky_5
pinky_5

Joined: 12 November 2007
Posts: 4696

Posted: 12 November 2008 at 7:18am | IP Logged

VERY IMP NOTE : (PLEASE READ THIS FIRST)

I DONT KNOW HOW WILL U REACT TO THE ENDING I'VE GIVEN TO THIS FF.I DONT KNOW IF THE WAY DEVYANA'S CHARACTER IS ENDED IS OK WITH YOU BUT I'VE GIVEN THIS TYPE OF END COZ I WANTED THE FF TO END IN DIFFERENT WAY THAN A NORMAL GHOST STORY.I WANTED THE END TO BE UNPREDICTABLE & NEVER SHOWN IN ANY STORY.HOWEVER IF U'VE OBJECTION WITH THIS END THEN PLEASE LET ME KNOW.I'LL REWRITE THE END FOR THOSE WHO DONT WANT THIS END.

ENJOY READING THE LAST PART.

RECAP:

        Everyone confused as to who saved ridz.Wedding day comes.Zoya tries her best that the marriages take place properly but devyana doesnt let that happen.She again possess ridz body.

FINAL PART:

          Everyone is shocked & scared to see those red eyes again in ridz body.Devyana gets up & smiles evily looking at everyones horrified faces.She seemed to be on cloud 9 that she finally succeded in stopping the wedding.She then disappears from her spot & everyone starts looking here & there but before anyone could think of anything further they hear ghungroos noise & look at the huge stairs where ridz(devyana) was walking but she wasnt walking on stairs instead on the sides of stairs where people generally keep hand for balancing.She was laughing like maniac & again disappeared.Again everyone saw here & there & this time they heard her laughter from the jhumar above & saw her sitting on the jhumar just below the ceiling.She was still laughing & then again disappeared but this time she dint reappear anywhere.

Z:  yeh kaise ho sakta hai......devyana riddhima ke shareer mein dobara kaise ghus gayi????kya riddhima ne taweez nahi pehna tha?????

Before anyone could answer they heard devyana's hoarse voice echoing through the hall as if someone was talking on a mike.

D:  pehna tha.......hehehehe (& she again started laughing)....

Z:  iska matlab devyana kabhi taweez se nahi darti thi.....usne humme ghumraah kiya.....woh bahut shaatir hai....

Armaans blood was boiling inside & it reached its peak when he heard ridz normal voice crying & begging 'armaan please mujhe bachao'.At this everyone got more scared & terrified.No one knew what devyana was upto.

Ar(shouting):  KYA CHAHE TUMHE??????

At this devyana appeared still laughing & took a knife & cut ridz wrist.Blood started oozing out of her hand.There were huh's & hah's from everyone & padma & anjie began to cry.She again disappeared but appeared after a while on the sacred fire where AR were taking the pheras.The fire was now burning ridz skin & armaan couldnt bear it anymore.He ran to her to catch her but again devyana disappeared only her laughter increased at this jerk of armaan.Armaan again shouted the same question but still didnt get a reply.Instead they heard a BANG!!! towards the opposite wall & saw that devyana was making ridz bang her head on wall.Armaan caught her this time & saw ridz head bleeding but she was still having her evil laughter.He didnt know what to do: to hug ridz & console her that everything will be alright or to bash up devyana.With her laughter increasing more & more armaan couldnt bear more & again blurted out the same question but this time by shaking her.

Ar :AAKHIR TUM CHAHTI KYA HO??????

D:  tum!!!!!

Z:  YEH TUM KYA KEH RAHI HO.....TUM TOH but she stopped saying further as devyana raised her finger at her & warned her not to say anything more.

D:  bahut madad kar li tumne in log ki....ab main bolugi.....Haan prithvi main tumhe chahti hu......jabse tum waapas aaye ho main sirf aur sirf apni adhuri kahaani puri karna chahti hu.....

Ar:  lekin tum toh mar chuki ho......

D:  MERI BAAT KHATAM NAHI HUI HAI!!!!!!tumhe marna hoga prithvi.....(at this everyones looks more terrified).....tumhaari aur meri rooh(soul) milegi.....Humaara pyaar markar amar hoga.....

Ar: PAR MAIN TUMSE PYAAR NAHI KARTA!!!!!!!!

At this devyana's expressions changed from blushing to a serious one & then angry one...She again disappeared & then the hall filled with terrified shrieaks of ridz voice.Ridz was crying & begging for the torture to stop.

Ar:  RUK JAO!!!!PLEASE WAAPAS AA JAO....MAIN TUMHAARI BAAT MANOOGA......PLEASE RIDDHIMA KO KUCH MAT KARO......

At this devyana appeared again with her usual evil grin spread wide on her face.......

D:  yahi to main sun na chahti thi.....ab sanyogita ko pataa chal jaayega ki prithvi aur devyana ke beech koi nahi aa sakta....main toh kabhi uska bura nahi chahti thi.....usne sirf ek galti ki ke woh humaare beech aa gayi........main toh aaj tak kabhi usse nahi maarna chahti thi(at this everyone looks questioningly).....maine jaan bujh kar tum log ko ghumraah kiya......tumhe lagta tha ki main usse maarna chahti hu lekin mera asli nishaana toh tum the prithvi lekin tumhaare liye mera pyaar kabhi mujhe yeh kaam nahi karne deta tha isliye ab tum khud maroge aur mere saath chaloge....

Ar(at his knees & crying):  lekin tum please pehle riddhima ko chod jo....uska sharrer dekho.....tumne uski kya haalat ki hai......uske haath se abhi tak khoon beh raha hai......usse bahut takleef ho rahi hogi.....please usse chod do.....

D:  pehle wada karo tum mere saath chaloge....

Ar:  waada kiya lekin kya tumhaare saath jaane se pehle kya mein aakhri baar riddhima se baat kar sakta hoon???uski ghaav par mulhum lagaa sakta hoon.....

Devyana nods her head indicating a yes & rahul goes & brings the first aid box.Devyana goes out from riddhima's body & comes in her real look with her burnt face.Riddhima collapses in armaan's arms.Armaan carries her on the sofa & everyone is crying.They make riddhima drink some water & she gets up.Armaan quickly bandages her hand & head.He applies medicine on her bruises burnt hands & legs.Her clothes were also torn from certain places & her eyes had all swollen up.She kept look expectantly at armaan & saw him only crying while applying the medicine.Riddhima knew what had armaan given up to save her & everyone were in tears.They knew this was the end of the lovely blossoming relationship.Ridz knew there was no point trying to stop armaan but she would definately give a try.

Ri(slowly):  armaan....

Armaan looked at her & nodded his head indicating not to say anything further.He wiped her tears while she wiped his tears.Both were lost in each others eyes looking last time at each other when devyana's voice broke them again.

D:  prithvi tumhe us hi pahaad se phir se kud kar jaan dene hogi jahaan se tum peechle janam mein mare the.....

Armaan kissed riddhima a good bye & started greeting everyone.Everyone had only one thing to say that please dont go but no one bought it to lips.Somethings need not be said.He was greeting the last person shashank when someones voice echoed in the room startling everyone.

Voice:  itni jaldi haar maan li armaan?

       It was not devyana's hoarse,harsh voice.It was a sweet voice.A voice of life saviour.They turned everywhere & saw that devyana was no longer standing with them.And then she appeared right in front of them smiling but this time the smile was different.It was genuine.Something was definately fishy they thought & then to their utter shock those red eyes of devyana vanished & then slowly it got replaced by some delicate black eyes.The burnt part of the skin was gone.The skin complex got replaced from black to soft pinkish-brownish coloured skin.The hair opened & grew very long & thick reaching below the waist.The clothes changed from the shabby dress to a very beautiful saree worn completely around the body.The saree was of red colour with green border.Lots of heavy & long ornaments appeared over the neck & around the hand.2 more hands appeared behind her back holding lotus flower.A big narrow crown appeared over her head made of pure gold having blue,green & red stones on it.Big earings were present around her neck.A big round red bindi on her forehead.

           Everyone still couldnt believe the sudden transformation they saw.The transformation of a devil devyana to goddess laxmi in front of them.She was still smiling genuinely.A smile to warm anyones heart.They were still standing shocked in front of her & didnt know how to react so she decided she'll break the silence.

LM:  mere bhakt mujhe dekh kar itna chauk kyu gaye hai???

Ri:  aap......woh......devyana......yeh sab......

LM:  haan main hi devyana thi.......

Ar:  kya???aap.....lekin aap aisa kyu karenge?????aap ne humaare saath yeh sab kyu kiya???kya devyana kabhi nahi thi?????kya hamseha aap hi ne humare saath yeh sab kiya???

LM:  nahi yeh sach nahi hai.....devyana thi aur usse tum logon ne hi yahaan se nikaala.....kya tum bhool gaye kis tarah tumne peechli baar yahaan aakar gaav walon ki madad ki....tabhi tumne devyana ko vaastav mein yahaan se nikaala tha.....lekin tumhaare peeche mumbai main aayi thi devyana bankar.....

Ri:  iska matlab aapne mujhe pagal karne ki koshish ki.....mujhe aur armaan ko alag karne ki koshish ki......kyu kiya aapne yeh sab???hum sab aapka naam le rahe the ki aap humaari madad kare par aap hi ne humme maarne ki koshish ki.....kyu kiya aap ne yeh sab???

LM(still smiling):  shaant ho jaao beti.....yeh karna mera dharam tha......insaan apne saare karam ka fal yahi par bhugat-ta hai.....tum logon ne bhi tumhaare karmo ke hisaab chukaaye....

Ar:  kaise karam??humne toh aaj tak koi paap nahi kiya....to phir humaare kaunse karam????

LM:  nahi beta is janam mein nahi......tum aur riddhima peechle janam mein zaroor prithvi aur sanyogita the par uske baad bhi tum logon ka ek aur janam hua tha......yeh tumhaara teesra janam hai....apne doosre janam mein tum log ne bahut bure kaam kiye hai.....tum dono peechle janam mein bhi premi the par tumhaara pyaar adhoora tha....tum dono paise paane ke liye kuch bhi karte the....saath milkar chori,dakaedi,kidnapping yeh saare kaam kiye hai tumne yahaan tak ki ek insaan ka khoon bhi kiya......aur ek din armaan tumne riddhima se jhagda kiya aur paise ke liye uska khoon kar diya....us waqt tum nashe mein the aur jab tumhe hosh aaya tum pagal ho gaye ki tumne apne pyaar ko maar dala aur aatmahatya kar di......tum dono toh mar gaye par tumhaare karmo ke hisaab baaki the....tumhe logon ke aansun ka,khoon ka aur sabse upar apne pyaar ka hisaab dena tha.Insaan apne peechle janam ke karam ka hisaab apne aane wale janam mein bhi de sakta hai aur tum dono ne wahi kiya.....tumhe tumhaare karmo ko yaad dilaane ke liye mujhe devyana ka roop lena padaa.Jab tumne asli devyana ka anth kiya tha main bahut prasann thi isliye tumhaari pyaar ki pareeksha ke liye mujhe majbooran is tarah aana padaa.Aaj tumhaare saare paap dhool gaye aur tumne saabit kar diya ki is janam ka pyaar peechle janam ki tarah khokhla nahi hai....aaj tum dono ek-dusre ke liye mar sakte ho....agar tum mein yeh pyaar is janam mein bhi nahi hota toh mujhe majbooran tum dono ko dobara maarna padhta lekin tumhaare aadhe se zyaada paap is pyaar ne hi dho diye.

Ar:  lekin aapne itne logon ko kyu maara???woh hospital ki nurse aur ward boy....

LM:  karam beta....karam.....unhone bhi apne karmo ka hisaab hi diya hai....unke karam aise the ki unhe aasaani se maaf nahi kiya jaa sakta tha...tum shukar manaoo ki is baar tumhaare pyaar ne tumhe bachaa liyaa.....

Ri:  aur yeh taweez???

LM:  koi taweez mujhe rok nahi sakta....lekin tumhe yakeen dilaane ke liye ki main sach mein devyana hu mujhe is taweez ke prati darr dikhana padaa...

Ri:  aur kya aapne mere jaan bachaayi???

LM:  main tumhe kabhi maarna nahi chahti thi beti.....woh sab toh sirf tumhaare pyaar ki agnipareeksha thi....har baar tumhaara pyaar tumhe bachaata hain lekin is baar shayad usne deri kar di thi aane mein isliye mujhe tumhe bachaana padaa....

Ar:  lekin humaare maa-baap ne kya bigaada tha????in sab logon ne kya bigaada tha ki in logon ko itna kuch sehen karna padaa?

LM:  abhi bhi mera jawaab wahi hai beta......karam....insaan sabse bhaag sakta hai lekin uske karam uska saath kabhi nahi chodte....tum sab ne jo kiya wahi tum sab ne payaa....apne paap ko dhone se pehle apne paap ko jaan na bahut zaroori hai...maine tumhe tumhaare paap bataaye aur tumne abhi tak uska hi hisaab diya tha....tum dono ka pyaar ek misaal hai.....is kalyug mein aisaa pyaar dekh kar mujhe bahut khushi hui....main hamesha tumhaare saath rahoogi tumhaari aatma banke....fikar mat karo ab tum apna jeevan aaraam se jee sakte ho.....Tumhaari jodi hamesha salaamat rahe.....& with this a bright yellow light comes from her hand & spreads across everyones heads.Everyones eyes are closed & hands are joined praying & thanking laxmi maa for everything & also asking forgiveness for their sins.As they open their eyes they find a red cloth on their hand & knew it was a gift from her & now they all can live their life peacefully.

 

Harsh:  fir kya hua dadi maa?

Minnie:  arrey buddhu fir dada-dadi ki shaadi ho gayi aur humaare daddy aur bua ne janam liya....

Riddhima:  haan beta.....rahul-muskaan aur atul-anjali ki bhi shaadi humare saath hi hogayi....aur phir hum sab hamesha khush the....

Gapu(scared):  toh kya dadi maa bhoot sach mein hote hai???

Ri:  haan hote hai lekin ismein darne waali koi baat nahi....yaad rakhna jahaan shaitaan hai wahaan bhagwaan bhi hai.....yeh hum par hai ki hum kisko maante hai....agar humne jeevan mein achche karam kiye toh bhagwaan humme apne paas rakhta hai lekin bure karam karne par humme shaitaan ke hawaale kar deta hai.....kya tum log kabhi paap karoge????kisiko tang karoge???

Mi:  nahi dadima hum hamesha achee bachche banenge.......aur waise bhi sirf ek hi insaan aapko tang kar sakta hai........

Ri:  kaun?

Mi,Gap,Har(giggling):  dadaji....

Ri(smiling):  haan mein jaanti hu sirf aapke dada hi mujhe tang karte hai....jaise is waqt woh mere peeche khade hai aur meri nakal kar rahe hai yeh soch kar ki mujhe kuch pataa nahi hai.....

Mi:  dadu dadima ne aapko pakad liyaa....

Armaan smiling comes forward & places his hand on ridz shoulder.

Ar:  aapki dadi bahut chaalak hai....hamesha mujhe pakad leti hai....

Ri:  kya karu ab tumhaari aadat jo ho gayi hai...

Harsh:  chalo dada-dadi ko akela chod do.....hum mummy-papa ke paas jaate hai....cartoon dekhne ka time ho gaya....

All children leave obediently.

Ar(mischeviously):  toh riddhimaji.....aap ko humaari aadat ho gayi hai???

Ri:  armaan sharam karo...pachaas saal ke buddhe ho gaye ho tum...

Ar:  jee nahi main toh abhi bahut jawaan hu....haan shayad tum buddhi ho gayi ho....kyu?

Ri(hitting lightly):  main buddhi aur tum jawaan?

Ar:  arrey galti ho gayi.....tum toh abhi tak bilkul waisey hi ho...

Ri:  kaisi?

Ar:  jaise tum mujhe pehle baar milli thi......jungli billi....

Ri:  armaan tum chahte ho is umar mein main tumhaari pitaai karoo?socho log kya kahege ki 20 saal ki ladki ne 50 saal ke buddhe ko maraa......

Ar:  excuse me tum 20 saal bahut pehle thi.....aaj tum buddhi ho.....kissi ke saamne mat kehna ki tum 20 saal ki ho warna woh log kahenge 'buddhi sathyaa gayi hai'.

Ri:  armaan tum itne saalon se mujhse ladhte hi aa rahe ho...kabhi pyaar se baat nahi karte......

Ar:  kya kare apna rishta hi aisa hai...thoda teekha-thoda meetha....

Ri:  aur thoda namkeen......

Ridz rests her head on his shoulder & both entwinge their fingers.

Ri:  itne saalon mein kitna kuch badal gayaa na.....waqt kitna jaldi nikal gaya kuch pata hi nahi chalaa...

Ar:  haan lekin ek cheez nahi badli....tum pehle jitni khoobsurat thi aaj bhi utni hi khoobsurat ho...

Ridz blushes.

Ar:  aur aaj bhi meri tareef par aise hi sharmati ho jaise pehle sharmati thi...

Ri:  aur ek cheez nahi badli....humaara pyaar jo kabhi kam nahi hua......humne ek saath kitna kuch dekha aur jhela hai fir bhi hum hamesha saath rahe....

Ar:  chodo na puraani baaton ko....log kehte hai na anth bhalaa toh sab bhalaa....

He smiles at ridz & kisses her fingers,cheeks,eyes & finally their lips meet lightly & they embrace into each other.In the room there is a photo of their family around which they've placed the red cloth they recieved years back.

Hey everyone i'm finally back with the last part......i hope i've done justice.As i told above if u dont like this end than let me know,i'll write one more end the way you want....sorry for not replying to your comments but seriously didnt have time but this time i'll surely reply.....

NOTE OF THANKS:

A big thank youuuuuuuuu to everyone who enjoyed reading my ff so much & always encouraged me to continue writing.I'm sorry if i've ever disappointed any of you.Thankssssss for giving so much love & support.Without your comments this ff would have never been completed.Even thanks to all my silent readers who enjoyed this ff.Smile

P.S:  my pc is affected & I dont know when will it properly start so i'm not sure when will I update my other ff laaga chunri mein daag....however i'll try updating this weekend.....

The following 6 member(s) liked the above post:

karankideewanixHeAvEnSarchieliciousRadiantTreasure..Phoenix..Fate.Intervined

saridena Goldie
saridena
saridena

Joined: 31 March 2007
Posts: 1085

Posted: 12 November 2008 at 7:47am | IP Logged
hi pinky
thks for the pm dear
excellent twist yaar
laxmi ma was superb
mindblowing ff it was yaar
we went through many emotions ,adventures, mysteryand lots more
loved it
luv soumya
shweet29 Senior Member
shweet29
shweet29

Joined: 22 January 2008
Posts: 505

Posted: 12 November 2008 at 7:55am | IP Logged
RESERVED ooooh my God excellent ending
i just loved it but lil sorrow to y did it end
but ur ending was so sweet that it overcomed
 it very nice FF
 very nice concept
n dada dadi concept was soooo beautiful
weldone yaar
plzz if u open one more ff do tell me
 
lov
shweet29


Edited by shweet29 - 12 November 2008 at 8:20am
bhanu_rekhag IF-Stunnerz
bhanu_rekhag
bhanu_rekhag

Joined: 19 October 2007
Posts: 37454

Posted: 12 November 2008 at 8:05am | IP Logged
Part is nice!!!!!!!

BUT AN UNEXPECTED ENDING!!!!!!

I was expecting a real time horror at end but it was plain normal
when compared to the story upto last epi!!!!!!!!!!

But nice!! something really different!!!!!!!!

but if u have some other diff., ending in mind
 try 2 change but wait for other responses as
many people may like this ending!!!!!!!

I liked it only 75% so i was expecting 100%
as I loved this FF 100% till today!!!!!!!!!


don't mind if i hurt u !!!!!!!!

but definetly i liked it !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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