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problem about this friend (Page 3)

BarunSobti333 IF-Dazzler
BarunSobti333
BarunSobti333

Joined: 21 May 2005
Posts: 4985

Posted: 10 May 2008 at 5:42am | IP Logged

Originally posted by meteora_smt

You know I would tell you to walk away, but I know thats pretty difficult and doesn't always work.

What you need to do is stop revolving your life around her. Easier said than done, I know. But you could do this by developing a new hobby, getting busy with some work, getting new and better friends, anything besides drinking, drugs, or dating with an intention to validate your self-esteem.

Infact, about the getting new and better friends, the jobs already half completed, I'M your friend, so I can help you!!! Big smile

PS. I love Shrek too! Embarrassed

 

hey thank u for your advice thats what i have been doin been tryin u kno not makin much of an effort like i use to...so that way i can move on..prob is that i have a group and ofcourse she is in the group so we both share the same friends.

awww thanks we can be friends.

am natasha lovin shrek hehe

 

bewafa IF-Dazzler
bewafa
bewafa

Joined: 01 September 2005
Posts: 4868

Posted: 11 May 2008 at 2:09am | IP Logged
u know most probably she isn't worth it, but in terms of showin affection, maybe she shows affection to others and not you, because it may be that she feels she doesn't have to "act" a certain way with u, since she does say that she feels closest to you.

sometimes the most neglected ppl R the ones you r close to, coz u tend to take them for granted
usha_pooja IF-Dazzler
usha_pooja
usha_pooja

Joined: 11 October 2006
Posts: 4865

Posted: 11 May 2008 at 1:23pm | IP Logged

Hey i am in this situation like you. Well, i was really best friends with this girl from college for 2 years as we did the same course, did everything together and even she dated a guy who was my close pals.

Then come uni, we do the same course, well we were always hanging around during the introduction week until, a small argument happened between us. Well, actually, im frankly an open person who will just blab onto everything. Then come the first week of the lecture, well i made a new friend with this close male friend of mines. Well actually, i must be honest i was observing him for a week seeing how is he like and so. Then i approch him and then we became friends from there and it has clicked between us.
So, my best friend didnt talk to me, she avoided me online and i used to approch her often online but refused to talk to me. Well, at first i was really hurt and so on. Then, i had to move on until one day, she now comes to me online saying she didnt want to talk to me for a certain reason which, she declined to mention. Until, I forced her to tell her so well she said me and the guy was so happy together and she didnt want to spoil our happiness. Now she comes online and chats to me despite we dont hang around but we are still good friends but, as close as before. Which is a shocker as we were close at college. Then i realise its better to keep a distance as me and her were different characteristics.


My advise for you is to speak to the girl.



Edited by usha_pooja - 11 May 2008 at 1:25pm
BarunSobti333 IF-Dazzler
BarunSobti333
BarunSobti333

Joined: 21 May 2005
Posts: 4985

Posted: 11 May 2008 at 4:59pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by usha_pooja

Hey i am in this situation like you. Well, i was really best friends with this girl from college for 2 years as we did the same course, did everything together and even she dated a guy who was my close pals.

Then come uni, we do the same course, well we were always hanging around during the introduction week until, a small argument happened between us. Well, actually, im frankly an open person who will just blab onto everything. Then come the first week of the lecture, well i made a new friend with this close male friend of mines. Well actually, i must be honest i was observing him for a week seeing how is he like and so. Then i approch him and then we became friends from there and it has clicked between us.
So, my best friend didnt talk to me, she avoided me online and i used to approch her often online but refused to talk to me. Well, at first i was really hurt and so on. Then, i had to move on until one day, she now comes to me online saying she didnt want to talk to me for a certain reason which, she declined to mention. Until, I forced her to tell her so well she said me and the guy was so happy together and she didnt want to spoil our happiness. Now she comes online and chats to me despite we dont hang around but we are still good friends but, as close as before. Which is a shocker as we were close at college. Then i realise its better to keep a distance as me and her were different characteristics.


My advise for you is to speak to the girl.

 

but pooja u know i have spoken to her already three to four times it just makes no difference she really does take me for granted.

affection bit hurts me the most

BarunSobti333 IF-Dazzler
BarunSobti333
BarunSobti333

Joined: 21 May 2005
Posts: 4985

Posted: 11 May 2008 at 5:00pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by bewafa

u know most probably she isn't worth it, but in terms of showin affection, maybe she shows affection to others and not you, because it may be that she feels she doesn't have to "act" a certain way with u, since she does say that she feels closest to you.

sometimes the most neglected ppl R the ones you r close to, coz u tend to take them for granted

 

and yeah but how can u be sooo touchy feely and showin affection to everyone i mean think of it if u feel clost to someone and ur the kinda person who shows affection 2 ur friends u love then u do show affection but u dont show affection to this girl who u say ur closest to....basically when ur leavin u give a hugg and kiss to everyone apart from maybe just a quick huggg how would u feel

salt Goldie
salt
salt

Joined: 21 August 2005
Posts: 1842

Posted: 13 May 2008 at 10:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Iqbal21

hey guys i have a problem well...

i will expain.

well basically i had this friend i met and we became quite close and she started living with me in uni halls as well we would do everything together,sleep together,eat together,go out together etc. i got so attached to her that i started takin her like my sister i would do anything for her...

like loads time she would be broke but i would pay for her and all and i wouldnt like ask for money back...

then secnd year we decided to be room mates but obviously she wasnt stayin in my room and we started driftin apart like she would not include me in anythin and not have enough time for me..which would hurt me coz i really loved her..but there would be times where all of a sudden we are together and it would seem everything is perfect....

but one thing i noticed is she would hardly show me affection like she would say she loves me but never hugg or kiss me to show that she does and everyone else in my group she would huggg kiss be next level with them..

it would make me feel whats my problem i mean how would u guys feel this girl u take the closest u take her as your sis shows affection to everyone apart from u..even when ur down she doesnt show u affection but maybe other two girls she shows sooooo much affection when they down which makes u wonder why...i have talked to her a couple of times about this she says she doesnt know but she feels closest to me...

does it really make sense and do u think its fair...like i do so much for her buy food for her,gifts but i would never get nefin from her..half of the time she is not bothered to be in touch......and then she still says she loves me but how after no affection nothin that shows she does feel closest to me...

u think its fair????????what would u guys do.esp the affection bit really hurts me


I think you should move on, if you think you're the only one who is making an effort to stay friends here. Some things are just not meant to be. And please don't take it personally that she doesn't hug you and stuff she probably doesn't realize it her self, and since she says you are the closest to her she feels she doesn't need to hug you. As it is you guyz are roomates you both are like family and there is no formality (hugs) with family - maybe she thinks that way Smile 
legallyzoya Goldie
legallyzoya
legallyzoya

Joined: 27 February 2007
Posts: 1004

Posted: 15 May 2008 at 5:54am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Iqbal21

Originally posted by zoya24

well did u try talkin to her?
i know what ur going thru...
And it hurts ...doesnt it?
well first thing..try talkin to her....tht always works.
if it doesnt. if she still wotn listen.
mayeb this friendship wasnt meant to be...tht special?
Many ppl come n go in ur life....btu who really amtter
are the ones who stick with u thru u thick n thins..
and am sure everythin will be allright.
maybe things wud get back to normal.
maybe ud get over her..
and if u need any friend. am there Smile ...
well teh whole of IF is there....msiot friendly ppl in the world r here Big smile anyways all the best...
I pray to allmighty tht things go well...

 

i have talked to her atleast three times about her never showin me affection and what does she do for me that shows she loves me or whatever...

she goes like ohhh i dono why affection doesnt happen with you...and its like she is always touchy feely with everyone else...

thanks for the advice but i guess i have decided to move on..

and hey yeah we can be friendsWink

 

definately.friends? am glad u made the right decision. atleast it luks like that.

SmileSmile

 

BarunSobti333 IF-Dazzler
BarunSobti333
BarunSobti333

Joined: 21 May 2005
Posts: 4985

Posted: 15 May 2008 at 2:48pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by zoya24

Originally posted by Iqbal21

Originally posted by zoya24

well did u try talkin to her?
i know what ur going thru...
And it hurts ...doesnt it?
well first thing..try talkin to her....tht always works.
if it doesnt. if she still wotn listen.
mayeb this friendship wasnt meant to be...tht special?
Many ppl come n go in ur life....btu who really amtter
are the ones who stick with u thru u thick n thins..
and am sure everythin will be allright.
maybe things wud get back to normal.
maybe ud get over her..
and if u need any friend. am there Smile ...
well teh whole of IF is there....msiot friendly ppl in the world r here Big smile anyways all the best...
I pray to allmighty tht things go well...

 

i have talked to her atleast three times about her never showin me affection and what does she do for me that shows she loves me or whatever...

she goes like ohhh i dono why affection doesnt happen with you...and its like she is always touchy feely with everyone else...

thanks for the advice but i guess i have decided to move on..

and hey yeah we can be friendsWink

 

definately.friends? am glad u made the right decision. atleast it luks like that.

SmileSmile

 

 

 

yeah so much more been happenin though oh well

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