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$*$ Officers Entertainment $*$ (Page 98)

sunshine286 Goldie
sunshine286
sunshine286

Joined: 05 February 2009
Posts: 1022

Posted: 17 September 2009 at 12:08am | IP Logged

Before Marriage:
Roses Are Red,
Sky Is Blue,
Oh My Darling
I Love You.

After Marriage:
Roses Are Dead,
I have Flu,
You Are My Headache
I Will Kill You…

maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

Joined: 05 January 2007
Posts: 13994

Posted: 17 September 2009 at 1:19pm | IP Logged
LOL Well gives a good reason why we shouldn't marry, especially with  the contagious swine flu on the prowl! Wink
sunshine286 Goldie
sunshine286
sunshine286

Joined: 05 February 2009
Posts: 1022

Posted: 21 September 2009 at 4:15am | IP Logged

Top 10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations

1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...


2. In the bus:A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...

Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.


3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask...

Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?


4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.


5. At a family get-together:When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.


6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...

Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money.


7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes inAfrica marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.


8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...

Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..


9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.


10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your officeasks...

Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ...........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

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nirmola

ruha IF-Dazzler
ruha
ruha

Joined: 08 April 2008
Posts: 3537

Posted: 21 September 2009 at 11:11am | IP Logged
hee hee heeee Trupti girl you are very naughtyLOLROFL

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

nirmola

ruha IF-Dazzler
ruha
ruha

Joined: 08 April 2008
Posts: 3537

Posted: 24 September 2009 at 11:50am | IP Logged
Yeh Biwiyan apne pati ko "A.G." kyon kehti hain?

Kyonki Biwiyan Sanskari hoti hain;
aur sabke saamne "Abey Gadhe" nahin keh sakti. Isliye, short form main bulati hain "A.G.".
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
She came....

I ignored her.... Cry

She smiled....


I kept Quiet... Embarrassed



She began to speak....



I didn't listen... Confused



and then....



She began to leave....



I realized the loss..... Embarrassed








And then shouted eventually with pain..............









ma'am meri attendance reh gaeee!!!!!! LOL

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ruha IF-Dazzler
ruha
ruha

Joined: 08 April 2008
Posts: 3537

Posted: 24 September 2009 at 11:53am | IP Logged
Wife Vs. Husband
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS"


The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at
5:00 AM for an early morning business flight..
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM  and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for this kind of contest.


God may have created man before woman,


but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
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NOTE:ITS JUST A JOKE <PLEASE ANYONE DON"T MIND IT,I TOO BELIVE THAT MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL<THEY BOTH ARE THE WHEELS OF LIFE.

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nirmolasunshine286

Veena.. IF-Sizzlerz
Veena..
Veena..

Joined: 10 June 2009
Posts: 9987

Posted: 24 September 2009 at 12:45pm | IP Logged
ROFL    ROFL   ROFL   ROFL
hey trupti 10 stupid questions are really cool yar....and thts true itself...LOL
u r amazing Thumbs Up

@ pooja..... hey dear ur all jokes are really funny

ma'am meri attendance reh gaeee!!!!!! LOL

Yeh Biwiyan apne pati ko "A.G." kyon kehti hain?
ROFL    ROFL   ROFL   ROFL

and yeah husband wives jokes are too good...
sunshine286 Goldie
sunshine286
sunshine286

Joined: 05 February 2009
Posts: 1022

Posted: 25 September 2009 at 1:03am | IP Logged

That's How Maths is Done


A little boy was doing his maths homework.
 
He said to himself,
 
"Two plus five, the son of bitch is seven.
 
Three plus six, the son of bitch is nine..."
 
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
 
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom."
 
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
 
"Yes," he answered.
 
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in maths?"
 
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
 
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of bitch is four?"
 
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four

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nirmola

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