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$*$ Officers Entertainment $*$ (Page 89)

AlexithyMia IF-Dazzler
AlexithyMia
AlexithyMia

Joined: 11 December 2008
Posts: 4204

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 2:52am | IP Logged
1. Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

2 ...How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

3. Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

4. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where
he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

5. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

6. Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya,
Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

7. How can a Sardar Kill a Lion? Sardarji thinks thinks hard & comes to a conclusion:
I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.

9. Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

10. Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My MobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

11. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " I LOVE U SISTER."

12. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

13. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!

14. Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.

AlexithyMia IF-Dazzler
AlexithyMia
AlexithyMia

Joined: 11 December 2008
Posts: 4204

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 2:56am | IP Logged
Sardar Se Puchha: Tum Next Janam Me Kya Banna Pasand Karoge?
Sardar: A Cockroach
Why?
Because Meri Wife Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai


******************************************
Sardar ke ghar uske sasural wale aaye,
biwi boli jao bahar se kuch le kar aao.
Sardar bahar gaya or taxi lekar aa gaya

******************************************

Sardars friend: yar kal meine kitni baar call kiya,
uthaya Q nahi?
Sardar: Q uthaun,30 Rs. de ke jo gaana lagwaya hai,
woh kya tera baap sunega

*******************************************

A Judge said..
order..
Order..
Order....
Sardar :
1 Pizza
2 Chicken
1 Coldrink
Judge:
Shut Up.
SARDAR:
no Shut Up only 7Up..:p

****************************************** Some sardar are genius. like
this one.
Ek baar exam main question tha,
"Challenge kise kehte hain?"
Sardar ne sare page khali chod ker aakhri page per likha.
"Apne baap ki aulaad hai to paas ker k dikh."

******************************************

Teacher: ' Delhi me Kutubminar hai'
Sardar was sleeping & Teacher wakes him up.
Techer asks: 'what i said'.
Sardar replies:' Delhi me Kutta bimar hai' ..

******************************************

Ek Sardar tha..
Uske paas ek Kawva(Crow) tha..
Wo bauhot Mulayam (soft) tha..
To usne apne kawve ka naam kya rakha hoga?
?
?
?

Microsoft
Mi-Crow-soft...
****************************************

Sardar apne bete se Bola: Oye, Gabra mat. Tu sher da puttar hay
Beta: Oye Papaji
Teacher bhi yehi bolti hay k tu kisi jaanwar ki aulad hai.

*******************************************

TEACHER: you call your Mother as MUM.
What will you call your Mother's Younger Sister & Elder Sister?
Sardar: So simple, i'll call them MINIMUM & MAXIMUM

AlexithyMia IF-Dazzler
AlexithyMia
AlexithyMia

Joined: 11 December 2008
Posts: 4204

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 3:02am | IP Logged
Funny Matrimonial Ads

SOFTWARE ENGINEERS:
Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features(privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities) .
There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her. Low Bugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build.

She must _NOT_ be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT or USER FRIENDLY.

We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never be released to ANY OTHER Customer.


DOCTOR:
Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage. I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply.


BEGGAR:
Allah ke naam pe koi ek biwi de de, Doosre ki nahi to apni hi de de, Allah tujhe ek ke badle do dega, Hillary hogi to Monika bhi dega


LAWYER:
I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidatefor the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lordi.e.Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.


BANKER:
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.


SHAYAR (Poet):
Badi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai, Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye, Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi, To yaaron ab khud se kaam ghar ka hota nahi.


DRUNKARD:
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alchoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preffered will carry me from bar to ghar. Meet personally or send soda for trial. Sample should be ample.


CAR MECHANIC:
Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run the household at a good average..... .......

AlexithyMia IF-Dazzler
AlexithyMia
AlexithyMia

Joined: 11 December 2008
Posts: 4204

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 3:04am | IP Logged
Son to DAD : Papa, 5+5 kiney honde ae?

DAD: Ullu de patte, gadhe, idiot, nalayak, besharam, haram khor, tujhe kuch nahi aata.

Jaa andar se calculator lekar AA.

AlexithyMia IF-Dazzler
AlexithyMia
AlexithyMia

Joined: 11 December 2008
Posts: 4204

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 3:06am | IP Logged

ek baar COW, ELEPHANT aur Gadhe mein ladaai hui k whoz the greatest...

Cow: I give 50 liters of milk every day and that's why im the

greatest.



Elephant: I eat 100 Kg of sugarcane daily and that's why I am
the greatest!!


--


--


Hellooooooo!!!!!! What are you waiting for?? It's your
turn to speak up



Edited by Panchi-fanRamya - 09 August 2009 at 9:34am
nirmola Senior Member
nirmola
nirmola

Joined: 27 June 2008
Posts: 413

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 12:23pm | IP Logged
1. Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " I LOVE U SISTER."

Sardar Se Puchha: Tum Next Janam Me Kya Banna Pasand Karoge?
Sardar: A Cockroach
Why?
Because Meri Wife Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai

Ek baar exam main question tha,
"Challenge kise kehte hain?"
Sardar ne sare page khali chod ker aakhri page per likha.
"Apne baap ki aulaad hai to paas ker k dikh."

ROFL

Are...yaar  tumne  Microsoft  ka namkaran ka coz bhi dikha diya...

Aur matrimonial ads to ROFL
ruha IF-Dazzler
ruha
ruha

Joined: 08 April 2008
Posts: 3537

Posted: 10 August 2009 at 11:01am | IP Logged
ROFL lol Ramya you always made me laugh and laugh with you funny jokes ,keep going girl
keep-smiling IF-Dazzler
keep-smiling
keep-smiling

Joined: 22 May 2009
Posts: 2739

Posted: 10 August 2009 at 8:24pm | IP Logged
matrimonial adds........... mi-cro-softROFL   ROFL
minimum maximum ROFL     ROFL
superb collection of jokes......
tooooooooo funny.....
ROFL             ROFL                 ROFL
keep sharing....

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