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$*$ Officers Entertainment $*$ (Page 13)

ruha IF-Dazzler
ruha
ruha

Joined: 08 April 2008
Posts: 3537

Posted: 12 June 2008 at 2:45pm | IP Logged
Husband : (Returning late from work) " Good evening dear..... I'm logged in.

Wife : Have you brought the grocery?

Husband: Bad command or filename.

Wife : But I told you in the morning!

Husband : Syntax Error. Abort?

Wife: What about my new TV?

Husband : Variable not found....

Wife: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.

Husband :Sharing Violation. Access denied.

Wife: Do you love me or do you love computers or are you just being funny?

Husband : Too many parameters....

Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.

Husband data type mismatch.

Wife: You are useless.

Husband : It's by default.

Wife: What about your Salary?

Husband :File in use .... Try later.

Wife: What is my value in the family?

Husband :Unknown Virus LOL


Edited by ruha - 12 June 2008 at 2:45pm

maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

Joined: 05 January 2007
Posts: 13994

Posted: 13 June 2008 at 5:12am | IP Logged

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
 
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
 
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
 
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.
 
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
 
"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
 
"Which present?" She asked.
 
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
 
"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!"

J

Moral :Requirements should be explicit.



Edited by maha_prakrti - 13 June 2008 at 5:15am
ruha IF-Dazzler
ruha
ruha

Joined: 08 April 2008
Posts: 3537

Posted: 13 June 2008 at 5:17am | IP Logged
Baddy BaddyWink she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!"

what does it mean?? LOL


Edited by ruha - 13 June 2008 at 5:18am
maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

Joined: 05 January 2007
Posts: 13994

Posted: 13 June 2008 at 5:23am | IP Logged

Originally posted by ruha

Baddy BaddyWink she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!"

what does it mean?? LOL

Well you do know what I meanBig smile Italian girl.. Did he say teenageLOL

ruha IF-Dazzler
ruha
ruha

Joined: 08 April 2008
Posts: 3537

Posted: 13 June 2008 at 12:18pm | IP Logged
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.
ruha IF-Dazzler
ruha
ruha

Joined: 08 April 2008
Posts: 3537

Posted: 13 June 2008 at 12:29pm | IP Logged
Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."
maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

Joined: 05 January 2007
Posts: 13994

Posted: 13 June 2008 at 2:43pm | IP Logged
LOL Are wah flight waale Sardarji to bahut hi inteeli gentely nikle yaar Clap

Lo ab hi unhe intelligent kaha aur raat ko sun pe jaane ki baat kar rahe hain LOL

Good ones Pooja Clap
ruha IF-Dazzler
ruha
ruha

Joined: 08 April 2008
Posts: 3537

Posted: 14 June 2008 at 11:04am | IP Logged
A suggestion from a Human Resources Manager:

HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES . . .

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
4. Then analyze the situation:

a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.

b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.

c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.

f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.


h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Management.

k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.

l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

m. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.

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