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$*$ Officers Entertainment $*$ (Page 106)

maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

Joined: 05 January 2007
Posts: 13994

Posted: 18 February 2010 at 8:24pm | IP Logged
Joke of the Day - Feb 19, 2010
 
Maamu: Bhai apne ko chaar maheene me tamil seekhna padega! Kuch upaay bolona!
Munna Bhai: Tamil bhaasha kyun? Kannad kyun nahi aur ye chaar maheene ka kya chakkar hai maamu?
Maamu: Maine ek tamil bachcha god liya hai, vo chaar maheene me bolnee lagega naa, isliye! Big smile 


Edited by maha_prakrti - 18 February 2010 at 8:26pm

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ruha

maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

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Posts: 13994

Posted: 22 February 2010 at 8:26pm | IP Logged

Joke of the Day - Feb 23, 2010

 
Sardar was sitting in the beach. An american asks, "Are you relaxing?
Sardar : No, I am Ram singh!
Another American : Are you relaxing?
Sardar (indignant) : No, I am Ram Singh!
 
Sardar gets angry and leaves the place
Sardar (to an American lying nearby) : Are you Relax Singh?
American : (Relaxing) Yes...

Sardar gives a slap and says, "All are searching for you and you are lying here, rascal..."

American : !?!?!

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maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

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Posts: 13994

Posted: 05 March 2010 at 4:39am | IP Logged

Joke of the Day - Mar 05, 2010

A man was walking along a Florida beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and out popped a genie.The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month, and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly, and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!!Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete -- how much steel!! No, think of another wish."The man said, "OK, I'll try to think of a really good wish." Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive.So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside, and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment. Know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing,", know how to make them truly happy."The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"

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maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

Joined: 05 January 2007
Posts: 13994

Posted: 08 March 2010 at 4:34am | IP Logged

Joke of the Day - Mar 08, 2010

Woman - A Chemical Analysis

Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower
concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal
fluctuations.

Physical Properties :
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties :
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses :
a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.

Tests :
a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution :
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.
 
Happy Woman's Day!
maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

Joined: 05 January 2007
Posts: 13994

Posted: 08 March 2010 at 8:25pm | IP Logged

Joke of the Day - Mar 09, 2010

Q: Why are there no elephants in Bollywood?
A:They can't run around trees without knocking them down.

Q: Why doesn't Rajnikanth fight elephants in Tamil movies?
A:He can't get them to jump in the air when he hits them.

maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

Joined: 05 January 2007
Posts: 13994

Posted: 09 March 2010 at 8:18pm | IP Logged

Joke of the Day - Mar 10, 2010

A psychological report :

When two Indian couples come face-to-face, wives look at each other's

 

 

Saree....!!! and husbands look at each other's

 

 

 

Wives....!!! :)



Edited by maha_prakrti - 09 March 2010 at 8:18pm
maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

Joined: 05 January 2007
Posts: 13994

Posted: 10 March 2010 at 8:21pm | IP Logged

Joke of the Day - Mar 11, 2010

In our great 'linguistic melting pot country', we speak Hindilish. The entire range of emotions can be measured in Hindish, Benglish, Punjish, Tamlish and Gujjish. Here is a letter showing this.
 
We will be seeing this for few days now! So to start..........
 
 
Hey Yaar there !
Bhat man, no nooj fram you far lang time ? Bhat matter eej ? Hab you forgotten me ? Myself, Deepak Khanna from IIT Kanpur. Same Kolege, same nolej, yaar. Hee hee.

Arre bhai, yesterday I go restaurant and they ask, what bil you hab ? Cadberry ? Papsee ? Or one bottle Thunderbolt, one 'baees ka pauwa' and one lag piece ? Or bil it be straight 'chempen' ? Talking of alcohol, do you know there are three kinds of beer in India ? One you drink, one you sleep with (called 'taddy beer' - you hug it) and one you having nothing to do with, since you cannot 'beer' it. Not to talk of the Gujju Beers of Dalal Street who in these Bull Harshad Mehta days, ask each other, (instead of the customary 'kem che ?') 'scam che ?'

maha_prakrti IF-Sizzlerz
maha_prakrti
maha_prakrti

Joined: 05 January 2007
Posts: 13994

Posted: 11 March 2010 at 8:25pm | IP Logged

Joke of the Day - Mar 12, 2010

On Aunties and Arranged Marriages
 
Aunt 1: "My boy is pure and gentle. He's like a cow."
Aunt 2: "He eats grass, then?"
Aunt 1: "Mami, stop kidding! He doesn't smoke or drink. In fact, my boy cant even tell the difference between wine and vodka."
Aunt 2: "Yeah! Yeah! That's what they all say. If he gets that drunk who can tell the difference!"

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