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RN(FANFICTION) (Page 4)

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*Rajeevian*

IF-Dazzler

*Rajeevian*

Joined: 05 February 2007

Posts: 4939

Posted: 23 April 2008 at 5:32am | IP Logged
nice ud Clap .plz cont soon......

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fanatic 21

Goldie

fanatic 21

Joined: 12 June 2007

Posts: 1857

Posted: 23 April 2008 at 7:13am | IP Logged
nice1 Clap

Shaina_b

IF-Stunnerz

Shaina_b

Joined: 13 July 2007

Posts: 31688

Posted: 23 April 2008 at 8:15am | IP Logged
Oh she can be 22years!!!She has to be at least in the final year if she is doing a job!!!!

She can be older if this is post graduation!!!


And the update was very nice!!!But can you improve your writing style.You have such great plots but you just can't execute it properly!!!!

ranajay_ria

Senior Member

ranajay_ria

Joined: 04 June 2007

Posts: 298

Posted: 24 April 2008 at 5:15am | IP Logged
ok here


n goes to her house


mrs a opens the door




ma- n tu aagaye


n- hmm


ma- kya huya tujhe




n- kuch nahin ma




ma- thk ha tu freash ho ja main khana lagate hu



n- hmm


n goes to her room




d- di aap aagaye




n- hmm



n goes to the washroom to fresh up while doolly goes to the dinning room




after sometime n also joins her

in the night sab so rahe hai sibaye n ke. n ko naad nahin aa rahe thi .
n gets up from the bed and goes to the drawing room .
n (in her mind)pata nahin sir ko kya ho gaya hai pehele toh kabhi mujhse s tara se baat nahin karte the par aaj kal har baat par naraz ho jate hai sayed mujhse koi galate ho gaye.
uhe sochte sochte n sofe par so jate hai


next day


morning


ma- are n yahaan kyun so rahe ha



ma goes towards n to wake her up


ma- n uth ja


n- hmm maa



n wakes up




ma- kya baat ha tu yahaan kyun so rahe thi




n- woh mama kal raat ko ek film dekh rahe thi sayed dekhte dekhte aakh lag aur main yahaan so gaye




ma- thk ha tu ab jake fresh ho ja main breakfast lagate hu




n- ok




n goes to fresh up




after sometime n comes




n- main chalte hu



ma- thk ha



n goes to her office

when n reach her offce the office was almost empty



sweeper- are n mam aaj aap itne jaldi aa gaye




n- woh kal late ho gaye the na




s- aacha




n goes to her desk /


starts working




after 1 hr r comes


mr sen- good morning sir




r- good mornnng



mr sen- sir woh kal ke meeting main sab kuch fnal ho gaya
ha



r- ok

suddenly r see n


r- are n



s- sir woh toh aaj sabse pehele aae ha



r- hmm



r goes to his cabin



r mobile rngs



r- hello



na- hello main naveen bol raha hu



r- ha bol



na- kya huya tujhe




r- bas kuch kam main busy tha




na- oh toh aaj bar main aa raha ha na tu


r- hmm




na- ok bye


in the lunch break




rosa- kal kya de rahe ha aap sir ko mr sen




mr sen- ek pen set
aur tum




rosa- man toh unhe ek khobsurat toffa dunga




n- aap log sir ko kal gifts kyun denge




mr sen- aap ko malum nahin kal r sir ka birthday hai hum sab unke birthday par nhe kuch gifts dete hai




mrs basu - kyun na de woh humare kitta khayal rakte ha



mr sen- woh toh ha mrs basu



in the evening n goes to her house while r goes to the bar




n- ma kal na r sir ka birthday ha




ma- aacha tu unhe kuch zarur dena




n- ha ma par kya du



ma- tu unke leye pyaar se jo bhi lege unhe pasand aayega




n-ok ma



in the bar



na- are r tu aa gaya



r- hmm



na- kya huya tujhe




r- kuch nahin


r-waiter two wines




na- bolna




r-(eyes flled with tears) na n mujhse pyaar nahin karte



na- kya




r- woh kisi aur se



na- hmm tujhe kaise pata


r- mainne khud dekha ha n ko us larki ke saath

mere saath aasa kyun huya na


na- (hugs r)chup ho ja




next day



morning



n- ma main ja rahe hu



ma- beta mere leye yeh letter post kar dena



n- par mama mujhe office ke leye late ho rahe ha



ma- thik ha



n- ok i will post it


n- goes to post the letter


in the office




evebody was standing in a line so that when r comes they can wish him


s- r sir aa gaye


everybody wishes r happy birthday



R-thank u all of u



mr sen- hume party dene hoge sir



r- ok aaj ghar main party ha aap sab plz aaye ga




mr sen- ok sir



r goes to his cabin



r -in his mind) aaj jis ke muh se mujhe wish sunna tha woh toh mujhe wish bhi nahin ke


after sometime n comes



mr sen - are n tum aa gaye



n- hmm


mr sen- yeh file jaldi se complete kar do



n- par



mr sen- jaldi aaj hume r sir ke party man jana ha



n- ok


n starts working on the file



in the evenng



n- oh god manne sr ke leye kuch leya bhi nahin kya karu ab



n-dials a no



n- hello



h- are phollan bol



n- h kya tu mujhe aaj shopping mall ke mil sakta ha




h- ok



knock knock



r- come in



n- sir mujhe aaj ghar jaldi jana ha




r- ok




n- thanks




n goes




outside the shopping mall


h- kya baat ha phoolan




n- h mjhe sir ke leye gifts lene ha



h- ok chal



in the office



r mobile rings



r- hello


d- beta dadi bol rahe hu




r- ha boliye



d- beta aaj office se aate waqt mere leye ek saree le aana



r- kya saree d main kaise



d- thik ha



r- thik ha d main le aayunga




d- ok beta




r goes out of office




r- driver shopping mall chalo




d- thk ha sahab



after some tme r goes to the same shopping mall where n/h goes


h- phoolan main pagal ho jayunga tere saath




n- shut up h



n- bhaisahab yeh kitne ka ha




shopkeeper- sirf 4000 ka




n- rs 4000 ka oh god




h-phoolan hum yahaan 2 hrs se ha abhi tak tune kuch bh nahin le



n- sab kitna expensive ha na



n- h udher chal



n- mujhe ek showpiece dekhye




s- ok mam



s shows some showpieceses




n- yeh kitne ka ha



s- only 200 ka



n- woh


s- rs 500 ka




n-ok pack that 1



s- ok mam


r - excuse me yahaan saree kaha milege



s- that way sir



r- thanks




r goes to a shop



r- mujhe kuch saree dekhaye


s shows some sarees to r


r- woh

suddenly r see that h/n r standing



r- (gets angry)



s- sir kon se du



r- yeh



s packs a saree for r


n- h man chalte hu mujhe sir ke party man jana
ha




h- ok bye


ok guys i up ff plz comments.


The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

candyflosssimron...backy

Shaina_b

IF-Stunnerz

Shaina_b

Joined: 13 July 2007

Posts: 31688

Posted: 24 April 2008 at 7:29am | IP Logged
O God not again!!!Ab toh bahut gadbad hone waali!!!Party mein zaroor tamasha hoga!!!

Waise isse mujhe Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi ka ek incident yaad aagaya jo kafi had tak aisa tha!!!

Woh kya hai bahut saal pehle tab Karan,Ganga aur Saahil teeno dost huya karte thhe.And Ganga and Saahil were in love.Valentine's day tha aur Ganga was going to Shatiniketan and asked Karan who she was talking to on the phone to pick up the gift she had bought for Saahil from the shop as if she went to pick it up she will be late and she was eager to go there fast.

Karan picked up the gift and and on reaching there gave it to Ganga at the gate as they reached almost same time.Also he gave her a red rose to give to Saahil.But this was unfortunately seen by Shobha,Saahil's cousin, and she misunderstood thinking something to be going on between them and that she was giving the gift given by Karan to Saahil.This let to misunderstandings between the two but was cleared up by Karan!!!!


Have you seen this by any chance????


Anyways your update was good but I hope inki bhi unke tarah jaldi hi misunderstandings clear ho jaye!!!!!

quietrajpri1623

Goldie

quietrajpri1623

Joined: 19 January 2008

Posts: 1107

Posted: 24 April 2008 at 10:35am | IP Logged
very nice update dear.....please clear all misunderstanding.....faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous..thanks alot dear for this beautiful part....

sonarajasingh

Senior Member

sonarajasingh

Joined: 18 September 2007

Posts: 617

Posted: 24 April 2008 at 11:50am | IP Logged
that was awesome yaar... buttttttttttttttt plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz   naina ki age toh nahi atleast kam se kam raj ke age toh kam karo yaar.. plz make it as 29-31...
aise diff r not possible yaar.. plz consider it Tongue

fanatic 21

Goldie

fanatic 21

Joined: 12 June 2007

Posts: 1857

Posted: 25 April 2008 at 3:06am | IP Logged
IT WAS AWESOME PART............PAR PLZZZZZZZZZZZ YEH CONFUSION JALDI DOOR KARO.........

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