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Arranged marriage (Page 4)

nitasuni Senior Member
nitasuni
nitasuni

Joined: 08 August 2007
Posts: 850

Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:12am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Gauri_3

Originally posted by lighthouse

Originally posted by Tarana

IS ARRANGED MARRIAGE ENSURE HAPPY, PRODUCTIVE FAMILIES?

 Yes.. especially when money and beauty IS (are) arranged in a marriage to produce happy union. Tongue  never seen a rich guy who isn't happy as can be with a beauty..Wink 

never say never, lightyLOL  for some, the hapiness is just short term.  otherwise, why would we see so many rich guys getting divorced from their picture perfect wives or vice versa!!!

the fact remains that if one is going for an arranged marriage, then why not get the best out there out of all the options one had.  ab aagey kya hoga kis ney dekha per yeh risk toh love marriages mein bhi rehta hai na.

...and i really do not subscribe to the theory that girl shd be average and guy handsome.(my intention was that  Moderately gorgeous girl and moderately handsome boy, that one word less made the problem)Anyway anything in moderate is good , evenif it is Amrit, too much is poision ( aisa hota toh meri shadi toh kabhi hoti hee naheenWinkLOLLOL  actually suspicion or cheating r equal opportunity vices.  all r prone to them.  can't be pinning it on just the good looking ones or butt ugly ones. 

as far as arranged marriages r concerned, well, success is not guaranteed but u do venture in to it with most of ur bases covered and a punching bag out there who can be blamed if things go wrongLOL but keep in mind that at the end of the day, it will be ur life that'll get screwed up if things did not work out.  only comfort u get is that u can cuss to ur heart's content and blame those who arranged it...if it helps in any wayLOL

No objection from my part.

Gauri_3 IF-Sizzlerz

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Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:16am | IP Logged
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Gauri_3 IF-Sizzlerz

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Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:19am | IP Logged
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nitasuni Senior Member
nitasuni
nitasuni

Joined: 08 August 2007
Posts: 850

Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:27am | IP Logged

Originally posted by Gauri_3

@nita: i understand ur views about real goodlooking people r based on the surveys u read. i just wanted to ask u what will they do then if no one wants to marry them just because they r too goodlooking?

personally, i take the surveys with a pinch of salt. look at the matrimonial ads. they r full of how beautiful and gorgeous and gori the gal shd be and how tall and handsome the guy shd be along with all the sidey stuff like well established career, gharelu, traditional yet modern( LOL ) etc. now, who do u believe...the surveys or the matrimonial ads? which shows the true trend as far as arranged marriages r concerned?

btw, i'm all for arranged marriages. mine was arranged too Smile

Mine is also an arranged marriage and so far good.

my question is that ever  you met a not so good looking girl or boy in marriage market, it is all part of it.

And about too beautiful person whom I know,evenif there is not so much  major problems like divorce etc., there are problems, the partners of too gorgeous and handsome are  too possessive and too much of anything is a problem.

qwertyesque IF-Rockerz
qwertyesque
qwertyesque

Joined: 03 December 2006
Posts: 5953

Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:27am | IP Logged
Originally posted by lighthouse

Originally posted by Tarana

IS ARRANGED MARRIAGE ENSURE HAPPY, PRODUCTIVE FAMILIES?

 Yes.. especially when money and beauty IS (are) arranged in a marriage to produce happy union. Tongue  never seen a rich guy who isn't happy as can be with a beauty..Wink 

happy yes, productive? hmm... now with horroscope matching they have to do fertility tests too?LOL

SholaJoBhadkey IF-Dazzler
SholaJoBhadkey
SholaJoBhadkey

Joined: 23 August 2005
Posts: 2672

Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:35am | IP Logged
Originally posted by qwertyesque

I agree with you nits....i have seen those kinda things as well which u have seen.. sjb is just talking about some exception i think...

Qwerty, I could say the same about yours and Nita's experience. Among my family (we are 4 siblings, all love marriages - of which two are inter-religious, one inter-cultural!!), friends, acquaintances and neighbours, the majority of marriages are love marriages and in that, the majority are mixed marriages. The latter are the ones that caused the most havoc. However, like I said, after a while things cooled down. My point was - your family will support you, if it cares for you. And if they cut you off because you went against their wishes, then I wouldn't call that a caring family. The debate was whether arranged marriages guarantee happiness, and I think pretty much the consensus is that they don't. Happiness in a marriage comes from what the couples put in. Some people might say that if the in-laws are not happy, they will try to break it up. True, but as I keep reiterating, they do not care for their child's happiness. The only plus point is that you can blame it on someone else when it goes wrong Smile 



Edited by SholaJoBhadkey - 03 April 2008 at 9:39am
nitasuni Senior Member
nitasuni
nitasuni

Joined: 08 August 2007
Posts: 850

Posted: 03 April 2008 at 10:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by SholaJoBhadkey

Originally posted by qwertyesque

I agree with you nits....i have seen those kinda things as well which u have seen.. sjb is just talking about some exception i think...

Qwerty, I could say the same about yours and Nita's experience. Among my family (we are 4 siblings, all love marriages - of which two are inter-religious, one inter-cultural!!), friends, acquaintances and neighbours, the majority of marriages are love marriages and in that, the majority are mixed marriages.In  my family we are three and myself and my elder brother married according to the wishes of the parents and younger brother married from another community. But out of love  and care,  our family made it an arranged marriage, Four of my cousines also gone for love marriage and inter religious ones, and parents made it an arranged - cum love marriage out of love and affection. but that doesn't make any guarentee in the relationhips, but guarentee backing from the family at the time of need. Like this,  I agree there are exceptions, but most of the cases we see the other way. The latter are the ones that caused the most havoc. However, like I said, after a while things cooled down. My point was - your family will support you, if it cares for you. And if they cut you off because you went against their wishes, then I wouldn't call that a caring family. The debate was whether arranged marriages guarantee happiness, and I think pretty much the consensus is that they don't. Happiness in a marriage comes from what the couples put in. Some people might say that if the in-laws are not happy, they will try to break it up. True, but as I keep reiterating, they do not care for their child's happiness. The only plus point is that you can blame it on someone else when it goes wrong Smile 



Edited by nitasuni - 03 April 2008 at 10:05am
SholaJoBhadkey IF-Dazzler
SholaJoBhadkey
SholaJoBhadkey

Joined: 23 August 2005
Posts: 2672

Posted: 03 April 2008 at 10:22am | IP Logged

Originally posted by nitasuni

In  my family we are three and myself and my elder brother married according to the wishes of the parents and younger brother married from another community. But out of love  and care,  our family made it an arranged marriage, Four of my cousines also gone for love marriage and inter religious ones, and parents made it an arranged - cum love marriage out of love and affection.You just validated my point there. This is what I have been saying all along.  but that doesn't make any guarentee in the relationhips, I think we are all more or less in the same corner there but backing from the family at the time of need, God forbid, tomorrow if you and your younger brother have marital problems, would your parents support you and not support your brother? I agree there are exceptions, but not in all cases. 

 

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