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Do children "owe" their parents?

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corvette

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corvette

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Posted: 18 March 2008 at 9:17am | IP Logged

In many cultures and traditions, parents rely on their children and have expectations of them, whether it is to look after them when they are old, to marry the person of their choice or simply to respect them and to heed their advice.

Is this right? Do children "owe" their parents simply because they brought them up?

Should parents see nurturing and bringing up their children as something they did out of love or duty?

Do most parents see their children as individuals or as extensions of themselves, or a chance to live life "second time round" and to do it differently

Would love to hear your views!

AngryMAngry

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raj5000

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Posted: 18 March 2008 at 12:20pm | IP Logged

Related Topic - http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=722031

inlined in bold below...

Originally posted by Madmadgirl

In many cultures and traditions, parents rely on their children and have expectations of them, whether it is to look after them when they are old, to marry the person of their choice or simply to respect them and to heed their advice.

 

Is this right? Do children "owe" their parents simply because they brought them up?

Can we factor out expectations that children have from parents, no. Wrong expectation in the cases is no no. Yes, deserved to be loved/respected/taken care of, as far as question of oweing, will take a pass on that.

 

Should parents see nurturing and bringing up their children as something they did out of love or duty?

Out of thier responsibility and ofcourse World peaceWink oops I meant love.

Do most parents see their children as individuals or as extensions of themselves, or a chance to live life "second time round" and to do it differently.

Don't think so in most cases is they want children to lead a happy /properous /independant lives.

Would love to hear your views!

AngryMAngry

Aanandaa

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Posted: 18 March 2008 at 12:30pm | IP Logged
The ideal case scenario is to have no expectations from no one, be it the children from parents or vice versa...However the reality is far from it...Children do have expectations from their parents whilst growing up and so do parents when their kids become grown ups and independent, even though they don't admitWink...Nothing wrong with it though...As a grown up and independent person, I really feel indebted towards my parents and owe to them for everything that I am today and want to sincerely and lovingly take care of them....

sweetmagic4u

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Posted: 18 March 2008 at 2:20pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Madmadgirl

In many cultures and traditions, parents rely on their children and have expectations of them, whether it is to look after them when they are old, to marry the person of their choice or simply to respect them and to heed their advice.

Look after them in old age and respect-definitely, no question

Marry someone of their choice-no

Heed their advice-depends on the situation...

Is this right? Do children "owe" their parents simply because they brought them up?

I think parents are owed respect at least. Monetary no, if you think that way with your parents it's pathetic. They gave you life, life is priceless, in that way you can never pay them back. Relationship should be give and take of only love.

Should parents see nurturing and bringing up their children as something they did out of love or duty?

Idealistically love of course...realistically with the way some kids are being born these days,out of wedlock,  people in some liberal cultures do it only for duty...

Do most parents see their children as individuals or as extensions of themselves, or a chance to live life "second time round" and to do it differently

Relive through children, big no no!! Your child will have different thought than you, he or she is an individual not an extension of you. Take for example the mom's dragging their daughters to child beauty contests, to make them what they could never be, teaching them to be vain at such a young age... I hate that kind of ideology.

~Shalini~

...M...

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Posted: 18 March 2008 at 7:30pm | IP Logged
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lighthouse

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Posted: 18 March 2008 at 7:43pm | IP Logged
 Yes.. Family unit is bedrock of civilization and every person in the family unit from grandparents to a baby needs to be to taken care of ..Smile

Gauri_3

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 18 March 2008 at 10:30pm | IP Logged
Children do not owe their parents, in the sense that they are their own individuals. Everyone has the right to make their own life choices and decisions. Parents should not expect children to do everything especially important decisions like career choices, marriage, children, etc.

What children do owe is gratitude and respect. Be genuinely grateful for what parents have done and show appreciation in whatever they can. Respect their parents choices, they may not listen to their parents but they can respect their advice and give it due consideration and be open to working a compromise.

Sometimes parents are aware of mistakes they made in their life or opportunities lost and want to inform their kids about such choices and consequences. It is a delicate matter and sometimes they cross the line treating children like their extensions. Parents should be mindful of the fine line and give their children space to grow their individuality. At the same time children as they grow should try to understand their parents and try to see where they come from. Mutual cooperation is the key to happy families.

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