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Inter cultural marriages - will work?

raj5000 Moderator
raj5000
raj5000

Joined: 01 January 2006
Posts: 11737

Posted: 26 February 2008 at 9:50pm | IP Logged

Totally aware of different aspect regarding marraiges debated here. Bring in insight on marraiges the occur accross cultures including gilrs/boys born bought up in Western culture married to someone from core ethinic culture.

Consider...

 - Typical Indian / Pakistani/Begali married ot gal born and bought in US

- African American married to Chinese

- Indian/Pakistani gal married to American/UK born guy

Have met many couples, guy from us/uk marrying gal from India/Pakistan, vice sa versa, infact the best couple who are perfect match, I know, are from bride=Japan, Guy from India. Now seeing the ratio, have seen most of such marraiges fail, even if they are love...there are several issues that come in way in this kinna of marriages. One of major issue is understanding each other day to day communication lingo, then complexes etc etc

Do you think marraiges where in spouses belong to different cultural upbringing and back ground work ? keeping in mind both spouses have average for compromising nature. 

SholaJoBhadkey IF-Dazzler
SholaJoBhadkey
SholaJoBhadkey

Joined: 23 August 2005
Posts: 2672

Posted: 27 February 2008 at 1:50am | IP Logged
Wink
Originally posted by raj5000

Totally aware of different aspect regarding marraiges debated here. Bring in insight on marraiges the occur accross cultures including gilrs/boys born bought up in Western culture married to someone from core ethinic culture.

Consider...

 - Typical Indian / Pakistani/Begali married ot gal born and bought in US

They are usually looking for a green card WinkLOL

- African American married to Chinese

Very successful Tongue- Tiger Woods is a case in point!

Indian/Pakistani gal married to American/UK born guy

Most of the times they become more American than the Americans themselves LOL 

Have met many couples, guy from us/uk marrying gal from India/Pakistan, vice sa versa, infact the best couple who are perfect match, I know, are from bride=Japan, Guy from India. Abhi mujhe se aur mere pati se nahin miley hoWinkLOL

Now seeing the ratio, have seen most of such marraiges fail, Which ones - desi/american desi or desi/pardesi? In either case - my experience has been different. Some have failed, and usually it's been a combination of over-expectation and under-compromise! even if they are love...there are several issues that come in way in this kinna of marriages. One of major issue is understanding each other day to day communication lingo (The UK Govt. is remedying this by introducing a mandatory English exam for for future brides/grooms from the sub-continent!)Big smile, then complexes etc etc Complexes can be in an Indian/Indian marriage too!

Do you think marraiges where in spouses belong to different cultural upbringing and back ground work ? keeping in mind both spouses have average for compromising nature. 

My take on marriages working is always the same - all types of marriages can work, provided both partners are willing and able to do so. Smile

corvette IF-Rockerz
corvette
corvette

Joined: 06 June 2006
Posts: 5291

Posted: 27 February 2008 at 4:41am | IP Logged
Interesting post....

I have 3 mixed marriages in my family...

My eldest brother, married to UK English girl, 23 years married, 4 beautiful children, I'd say that was pretty successful....

My eldest sister, married to a UK Polish-Scot! 2 children, married 11 years..... I'd say that too was successful

My younger brother, married since last July to American girl now living in UK, too early to say........!

Me........I did everything conventionally by marrying a British born Sikh (like myself)
11 years on and 2 kids later, I do love myhusband but spent most of last 12 years totally and utterly miserable in my home life thanks to inlaws and their daily persecution. This year I am determined that enough is enough and I fight fire with fire and will take no more sh** from them - very un-Indian thing to do!

My conclusion?

Marriages work, irrespective of culture and background, colour or creed......

If thereis love, respect and mutual acceptance of each other.

It isnt easy when you have kids but wioth love and support from so called loved ones around, such relationships can be truly successful.

KC
return_to_hades IF-Sizzlerz
return_to_hades
return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 22391

Posted: 27 February 2008 at 10:14pm | IP Logged
Marriage is a two way street, the success completely depends on the effort the two people are willing to put in. People from the most diverse backgrounds can have amazingly successful marriages because of the willingness and drive of both individuals to make it work, and at the same time people with similar interests, culture and background can struggle in marriage due to unwillingness to compromise.

The reason some multicultural relationships fail is because people do not think their actions through. Before a multicultural marriage both people should take time to know each other, understand expectations and limitations and see if there is a willingness to work with it.
Gauri_3 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 12 November 2006
Posts: 13617

Posted: 28 February 2008 at 5:46pm | IP Logged
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Dabulls23 IF-Stunnerz
Dabulls23
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Joined: 31 October 2005
Posts: 28768

Posted: 28 February 2008 at 6:12pm | IP Logged
ROFL

Lesson Learned Miss Gauri ji Wink ROFL ROFL

How do u think some of us rocked (Survived) our marriages for almost 34 yrs Wink LOL


Edited by Dabulls23 - 28 February 2008 at 6:13pm
Bhaskar.T IF-Sizzlerz
Bhaskar.T
Bhaskar.T

Retro Podcast Team
Joined: 05 January 2005
Posts: 18875

Posted: 28 February 2008 at 7:43pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Gauri_3

learn some lessons....my forum buddies Smile


ROFL

    Very valuable lesson must say!!!!!!!!! LOL

qwertyesque IF-Rockerz
qwertyesque
qwertyesque

Joined: 03 December 2006
Posts: 5998

Posted: 28 February 2008 at 8:17pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by Dabulls23

ROFL

Lesson Learned Miss Gauri ji Wink ROFL ROFL

How do u think some of us rocked (Survived) our marriages for almost 34 yrs Wink LOL

LOL - petsy what u have hounds of baskerville for pets?...LOL

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