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Fan Fictions

" Humsafar"(Short story)Part VI(last prt)

bhoomikauttam IF-Dazzler

Joined: 03 July 2005
Posts: 3255

Posted: 05 February 2008 at 11:33pm | IP Logged

Hi Friends,

So here I am back... Yup with another short story..this story is very close to my heart not for the story itself but the circumsatcnes in which i had to write this was written to cheer up someone very close..Big smile

This story has its flaws and am postign it with those i dont want to change the innocence by which i attempted this one. It has a muslim family background...and hope u will forgive the few errors in story telling...

I have written small poetic lines in Hindi in btw..and hope u like that those too...

Let me thank my lovely friends Bini, Sara, San & Tannu for their support , this story is theirs. Its due to them i wrote..special thanks to Sara she had some beuatiful words to tell me abt this story and it lifted my spirit to attempt more such stories.

My jhappi and hertfelt thanks to Jyothi, Vandu, Rabia, seasplash,(suhanasafar),Golu,Ghazala for all the beautiful words of encouragment and  indeed i am postign these short stories for u all... hope i don't let u down.Big smile

All the silent readers and readers of my previous fanfic Tumsey milkey I am thankful for all the kind words. Appreciate the warmth u all have given me.

Will post the first Part soon...and yes this story is also less than 10 parts..hmm less than 8 parts..Wink exact will inform later...LOL

Edited by bhoomikauttam - 09 February 2008 at 11:25pm

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:


bhoomikauttam IF-Dazzler

Joined: 03 July 2005
Posts: 3255

Posted: 06 February 2008 at 2:34am | IP Logged



Part I


Its night time a grand party near a huge farm house is held. The entire guests were dancing in a circle around the firewood. There r drinks served & food is delicious. The smell of it is soothing & the music mesmerizing. A pretty girl sitting is watching them. There is smile across everyone's faces. She gets up walks a distant far from there into the farm, comes near a pond. She could hear the music bit low. She watches the fishes in the pond and smiles. Then she thinks about something. She soon look's at the Moon's Shadow in the pond along with is a small bright star. She watches up in the sky & looks at the moon & the star.



She thinks and says, "Rabba every time u give me my answers. I was just thinking about why I am not happy like all the others. I wanted to be alone. I came here saw these fishes, the pure water & this little thing seem to make me smile than the smiling faces of so many people there. How could I be so selfish? Why I wasn't able to be happy just by someone else's happiness? But as I saw the shadow of moon in this pond and a little star I realized, be it big or small u can be really & genuinely happy only when inside u, ur soul is happy. If u within r'nt happy with ur life, only by someone's happiness u cant make urself pleased. I realized Rabba that what we feel within reflects out. The shadow within me reflects out.


Apno Ka saath Kyun Shorsa Mujhe Lagta Hai,

Jhutha Dikhava Insaan Hardam Nahi Karsakta Hai,

Dil mey Basaa Dard Chupaye Nahi Chupta Hai,

Bheeter Ka Khaav Saya Ban Chehre pe ajata Hai.


She was about to touch the shadow of the moon in the pond that she realized her ring slipped into the water. She had an expression of shock on her face n held her hand on her mouth. She rushed to pick the ring from the deep water, she was about to fall into the pond but soon she realized that someone holding her both arms and helping her not to fall. She got her balance & looked behind but there was no one. Then she saw into the pond, now she couldn't see the ring as well. She suddenly got scared & the music near the farmhouse was stopped. She felt scared & rushed back. She heard her Mom calling her, "Noor where r u?" Her mom told her there was a short circuit. Noor said, "Ammi, I lost my ring into the pond."& soon everyone went with a torch to search it. But none could find the ring. She was very upset & very sad. It was her favourite ring, which she treasured from long time.


The party was over & as she was preparing to go to bed she saw her shadow as she was switching the light. She thought, "Rabba r u trying to tell me something? This time I am not able to understand. Who was there who helped me not to fall in the pond? How with a fraction of second I couldn't see the ring which was there in front of my eyes? & How did the ring slipped out of my finger? It wasn't loose; it fitted to my ring finger perfectly. Rabba please bring back that beautiful ring to me, I would feel it's my lucky charm."


Chand Ko Dekh jab Muskura Uthi thi,

Najane kaise ungalise anguthi Chuthi thi,

Rabba Kaun tha jisne thama tha mujhe,

Kwaab tha ya haqueeqat iska ilm karadona mujhe.


The following 8 member(s) liked the above post:


golu_1677 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 06 August 2005
Posts: 4315

Posted: 06 February 2008 at 2:36am | IP Logged
bhoomi great u began a new fic. Nice beginning.
bhoomikauttam IF-Dazzler

Joined: 03 July 2005
Posts: 3255

Posted: 06 February 2008 at 2:37am | IP Logged

Originally posted by golu_1677

bhoomi great u began a new fic. Nice beginning.

thanks golu..hope u liek this one too...Big smile

togepe30 IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 12 July 2005
Posts: 31116

Posted: 06 February 2008 at 5:26am | IP Logged
Clap niceee...! continue soon !
SuhanaSafar IF-Rockerz

Joined: 09 December 2006
Posts: 5226

Posted: 06 February 2008 at 8:58am | IP Logged
Interesting so far! Continue soon.
ghazala_gr8 Senior Member

Joined: 09 November 2005
Posts: 214

Posted: 06 February 2008 at 9:13am | IP Logged
wow bhoomi Big smile nice title "humsafar" sounds so interesting Big smile great starting Big smile
bhoomikauttam IF-Dazzler

Joined: 03 July 2005
Posts: 3255

Posted: 06 February 2008 at 11:19pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by togepe30

Clap niceee...! continue soon !

Hi Vandu..:D glad u r likign it...

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