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DOTW - Gettin married aboard.... (Page 2)

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*lucky_karen*

Goldie

*lucky_karen*

Joined: 27 April 2005

Posts: 2064

Posted: 29 January 2008 at 1:53pm | IP Logged
Hi everyone!

Great topic!..I agree with most of the views that ppl in india only marry for the possibility of coming here n then they treat u like crap..not all but most..i have made it clear to my parents that its got to be sumone from canada..whos brought up here n has a good edu n job..also i think that arranged marriages are not all that bad if both are given time to get to know each other before any commitments..also they should be given the freedom to say no to the whole thing..plus girls especially need to be independant n finacially secure enough to take care of themselves so that if..god forbid..anything goes wrong then they will be okay on their own..also if u do get married to a person from india or any other country then that person may adjust to the cultural n thinking diffs but wat about his family?..it would be very difficult to change wat they think n how they view things..thats my lil bit of rambling...karen Wink

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koenigbobo

IF-Stunnerz

koenigbobo

IF SUPER ADDICT

Joined: 07 October 2005

Posts: 31347

Posted: 30 January 2008 at 4:58am | IP Logged
yaaaa ppl from desilands !! mostly boys when they hear ohh the girl is from usa or uk or europe etc most of the time they say oh yeh we r gnna marry !! so we can go out n all !!n i think its kinda wrong as well !! they both dunno each other!! i no em boys i mean not all of em but most of em they juzz wanna come abroad n check sum goris out daz all they wann !! thn they cheat on wives wives cheat on em cuz der way of thinkin is totally changed !! so i thinkk they both should get 2 no each other properlyy b4 gettin marrried !!

PaRoOoOoOo

IF-Sizzlerz

PaRoOoOoOo

Joined: 21 November 2005

Posts: 18120

Posted: 30 January 2008 at 11:03am | IP Logged
hmm..pehle toh hota tha ke family background dekha jaata tha nd u kno how family is..aaj kal ke rishte lagta hai aise hote hain ke passport dekh ke...theek hai u wanna marry sum1 outside ur country fine..par u shud see the family background...shaadiyan roz roz toh hoti nahin...its an important decisions either parents make or the people themself..its gd to inquire once thn ruin ur life by marrying a rong person.... Smile

-Pinky-

IF-Dazzler

-Pinky-

Joined: 02 July 2006

Posts: 4078

Posted: 30 January 2008 at 7:56pm | IP Logged
yes i agree.. its very risky... it happened to my moms friend. she married a guy frm India.. when they came to Canada, the guy totally changed. he treated her rlyy bad.. moms friend was already pregnant by then.. Ouch the guy refused to work.. the girl did everything on her own. one day when she came back frm work, the guy was gone with all her money... and she had a miscarriage. shes sooo young.. he ruined her whole life... its really sad how low some ppl can go...
but becuz of few guys we cant say that all guys there r like that... thats not true. there r some rly nice guys there too.. but u have to be very careful n get to know them rly well b4 u make any decision

Star_on_earth

IF-Rockerz

Star_on_earth

Joined: 27 December 2006

Posts: 8590

Posted: 06 February 2008 at 3:55am | IP Logged
great discussion goin on here....and i too think that marrying abroad is pretty much risky....

but the risk can be avoided..i mean...there's no way to find out before marriage if the guy/girl is gud or not..coz in any case they gonna b pretending to be oh so sweet n nice initially...its only later on u wud know what they were upto....

so why not be prepared for it in advance... i mean jus in case the guy turns out to be bad..you shudnt just sit and cry for someone else's fault..you should be strong enough to fight for yourself...and not let the other person take advantage of you... Embarrassed

i m not saying it will always happen...bt just in case it happens....i m sure there are many ways to protect one from such things............wat do you say???? any thoughts on that??????? Embarrassed

all i wish to say is why dont we discuss on how this can be prevented rather than dicussing to whether it happens or not? Embarrassed



JattiTude

Goldie

JattiTude

Joined: 10 September 2006

Posts: 1512

Posted: 06 February 2008 at 10:38pm | IP Logged
well i dont know, england canada are different than US injob area. educated guys and galz who come to US get good jobs. i have trillion friends who are computer engineers, doctors, MBA holders, they all are making around $100,000 or more.... so from job side, US is much better than canada, Uk and Australia. ABout guys coming to foreign countries after getting married and getting visa stuff..... yeah out of 100% 20% are like that, but that 20% makes the rest of the 80% look bad. i have friends who married Educated Indian guys and they are very much westernized with same thinking etc. I was in india, and saw few guys through my family, and i felt they all were very compatible enough for US life. Parents onlyneed to understand, if they find a guy for their daughter in India, they need to give them good enough time to know each other etc. and if after talking and meeting with each other (which can happen only once or twice), but talking can be done everyday.... for about 6-7 months, if their daughter doesnt feel comfortable with the person, then parents need not to pressurize her that all the relatives know that ROKA happend etc how can you break rishta.... my parents know that i will not agree to any ceremony until i know the person completely even if he is in india.... and thats what i am doing. met someone, we talk everyday (yahoo calls zindabad!!!!), we talk like almost 10 hours a day, getting to know each other, he is one gem of a man, sends me flowers for just no reason, he is educated and i know if he comes to US he will settle here very well..... thats a different story that we both want to settle in India not in US..... but mhy point is that not every guy from india is after VISA.... you just have to be carefulwhen you make rishta with someone..... GOOD LUCK to all you ladies out there!!!!!!!

Star_on_earth

IF-Rockerz

Star_on_earth

Joined: 27 December 2006

Posts: 8590

Posted: 06 February 2008 at 10:58pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by sonu98

well i dont know, england canada are different than US injob area. educated guys and galz who come to US get good jobs. i have trillion friends who are computer engineers, doctors, MBA holders, they all are making around $100,000 or more.... so from job side, US is much better than canada, Uk and Australia. ABout guys coming to foreign countries after getting married and getting visa stuff..... yeah out of 100% 20% are like that, but that 20% makes the rest of the 80% look bad. i have friends who married Educated Indian guys and they are very much westernized with same thinking etc. I was in india, and saw few guys through my family, and i felt they all were very compatible enough for US life. Parents onlyneed to understand, if they find a guy for their daughter in India, they need to give them good enough time to know each other etc. and if after talking and meeting with each other (which can happen only once or twice), but talking can be done everyday.... for about 6-7 months, if their daughter doesnt feel comfortable with the person, then parents need not to pressurize her that all the relatives know that ROKA happend etc how can you break rishta.... my parents know that i will not agree to any ceremony until i know the person completely even if he is in india.... and thats what i am doing. met someone, we talk everyday (yahoo calls zindabad!!!!), we talk like almost 10 hours a day, getting to know each other, he is one gem of a man, sends me flowers for just no reason, he is educated and i know if he comes to US he will settle here very well..... thats a different story that we both want to settle in India not in US..... but mhy point is that not every guy from india is after VISA.... you just have to be carefulwhen you make rishta with someone..... GOOD LUCK to all you ladies out there!!!!!!!

i agree with you that not all are the same...but for the ones who are..how would you know whether he/she is like that? i mean initially to everybody pretends to be gud na...and they would be clever enough to hide their true intentions...Embarrassed

btw...glad to know ur story...and wish you all the best!Smile

punjabi_kuri02

Senior Member

punjabi_kuri02

Joined: 16 January 2007

Posts: 200

Posted: 19 February 2008 at 4:01pm | IP Logged
Hey I'm new here
and i hope no one minds me posting
: )
Anyways I live in Canada so my point of view is coming from a western piont of view, && I'm more into Love marriages

Anyways i think that you should be comfartable with the guy you decide to spend yuo life with, and usually Indian guys have like the BIGGEST egos ( i said most) anywayyss and when a guy grows up here they understand that alot of girls have guy friends
have HAD booyfriends
and alot of Indian guys dont understand that again because of the cultural differance, i mean they maybe do more so now but still there things that are different in western culture. Also long distance realtionships never work out. AHAH!
&&
Also its harder to adjust for both of them, i mean awkward you dont what they like and all, sometimes its just better to have a love marriage
you know the bet are
Love-arranged marriages
As in yuo lovve them, but you know yuor parents agree
anyways i hope nobody found this offensive im probably talking like
20 years ago but, like in 14 and everytime i picture indian guys, from all the smack i heard about poeple gettig marriedd to people 30 times their age for a visa, that what i think feel free to correcct
and again sorry for anything ruse
i dont mean it Embarrassed
-Talzs Embarrassed

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