DOTW - Gettin married aboard....

Heyy!!!

Its my first post here..

i wanted to know your opinions on what are the pros and cons of getting married to a person from a different country.. i mean like a person from england/canada etc getting married to a person from india.. or the other way round...

personally if you get married to a person from india its a big rsik as most of them are gona marry you for the visa into a foriegn country.. im not all are like that but most are.. my sisters friend got married to a guy from india.. he was fyn with her at the start but two weeks after he got his unlimited stamp he left and he had a gf in india!!! he treated her like shit.. now he lives here with his gf from india.. its so not fair.. they are just using them..

but i could understnd how a indian must feel when they get married into a foriegn country.. as they dont have their family around nor any knowledge of the country they are in.. my cuz from india got married to this guy from canada about a year and half ago and when she got there she found out that he does drugs and stuff.. afterwards he started to beat her and stuff.. but luckly her brother lives there so she had the support of his.. now she has left her husband and livig with her brother.. but imagine if her brother wasnt there.. she could neva leave the house and move away.. as she wouldnt have anyone to depend on.. also girls are scared to leave as they dont want to dishonour their family.. my cuzin was lucky as her parents and her other relative propa supported her throughout the whole thing..

personally.. i believe more in love marriages than arranged therefore i think it is very highly doubtful that i will get married in india... i wouldnt prefer to get married in india because of the huge culture differences.. and the truth is no matter how well-educted the person is in india.. they will very unlikely get a good job here.. and i would like for my husband to be on the same earning level as me.. as it may cause a issue of dispute later in life... my parents agree with what i think and they will neva force me to get married where i didnt want to.. my parents are quite chilled out about the whole love marriage idea.. as my sis had a love marriage.. my dad doesnt mind if i have a love marriage but doesnt want me to have a bf  i go to him it doesnt work that way.. but he sed that as along my partner is a indian, sikh jatt, from a good family back ground and has good eductaion thats ok.. i told him that its a long wish list lolz

i hope that this hasnt been discussed before and that i havent offended anyone.. im sorry if i have

anywys i wana hear your opinions now

XXX

*Viewbie's Note*

It's a nice topic so I have put it up as this week's Discussion Of The Week

Please carry on with the discussions

Awww.. thank- you for making it the DOTW...

Originally posted by ~*simran*~

Haye, I have so much to say on this topic, but time hai hi nahi ji. In short, I could only marry NRI, non reilable Indian like assi , b/c I can not adjust. Well I could, but why should I ji? Anywayz, if I start, I'll go on and on.


One thing I want to say you're wrong is, and I think only thing is this ji.....

and the truth is no matter how well-educted the person is in india.. they will very unlikely get a good job here.. and i would like for my husband to be on the same earning level as me..

.......This is so wrong. People from India and China who come to North America get jobs that we as people staying here need to climb ladders for. I mean wahaan se aate hain, and they get to be head of departments, doctors at the top of the list, they establish buisness that a lot work under. For example, in America, the head of the Pepsi agency is an Indian woman from India. Then there is this Mehta who is head of a very hotel chain, also came from India. We work, one step at a time, and people come from India(most) and earn on average $154 000 a year ji. One thing I'll agree, I'll feel so akward with my hubby if he is from India earning that, and I'm earning $80, 000 a year. People from India are damn smart ji, and they know how to earn the money. I guess studying that rigrously does pay off for them. I've studied in India there, and they are so smart, and lots that I know personally, and from HHSC class statistics show that Indians and Chinese who are non residental, earn more than North Americans on average.

So marrying in this situation should not regard on the money matter, we'll lose badly , but on the adjustment and culture factors ji. We are raised with our cultural values ghar pe, but at school pe we are sewen into western views, and without knowing it we accomodate them in our lives ji. I can't marry a guy from there b/c I'm a person values the culture but against the soch. I've been brought up where I've learned to live Canadianly along with Indianly. I need a guy who is willing to get the fact that girls are equal, pati parmeshar toh patni devi, not just one ji.

Haye, don't kill me, it's my birthday, kal ko you can lol. Please don't mind, my opinion of what I've seen in life ji, and saare right b/c of what they've seen life. I haven't seen every aspect of life and have no right to comment on it. But I've seen some, and I shall haila bol on that

Enjoy bachcha log!

Hello Sello 2 everybody

Firstly.. Happy Birthday Simran..!!!

And I wont kill you, Im happy that you replied..

I understand, money shouldnt matter, but it is vital that one should think about their future..

From the examples that u gave, it seems that there are numerous successful people however the people arent, can not be ignored.. most people who come in englnad dont get decent jobs as the equivalent of their qualifications isnt same here.. my uncle that been extremly highly eductated in india.. but today he works in a manufacturing factory on the production line.. im saying that he doesnt make enough money what he rightly deserves after studying so hard..my firend's bhabi was a computer conslutant in india and now she works in a cash 'n' carry and in KFC on weekends to earn extra money.. they have to work extra hard to become successful..

maybe im a weak person thats why i cant handle this..

in the future, i believe if a british person and a indian person.. the british perosn will sadly get it even though indian person may be more capable..

i have seen many examples of couples struggling because of this, and therefore that is my view on it..,

i think that people have progressed loads here through their hard work but if they got their dues, they would have done better.. im so proud of us indians as they have faced so many trails and tribulations but still managed to get on top..  

XXX