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DOTW - Gettin married aboard....

DeSi*KuRi* Goldie

Joined: 06 November 2006
Posts: 1517

Posted: 25 January 2008 at 5:03pm | IP Logged


Its my first post here.. Tongue

i wanted to know your opinions on what are the pros and cons of getting married to a person from a different country.. i mean like a person from england/canada etc getting married to a person from india.. or the other way round... Big smileBig smile

personally if you get married to a person from india its a big rsik as most of them are gona marry you for the visa into a foriegn country.. im not all are like that but most are.. my sisters friend got married to a guy from india.. he was fyn with her at the start but two weeks after he got his unlimited stamp he left and he had a gf in india!!! he treated her like shit.. now he lives here with his gf from india.. its so not fair.. they are just using them.. Angry

but i could understnd how a indian must feel when they get married into a foriegn country.. as they dont have their family around nor any knowledge of the country they are in.. my cuz from india got married to this guy from canada about a year and half ago and when she got there she found out that he does drugs and stuff.. afterwards he started to beat her and stuff.. but luckly her brother lives there so she had the support of his.. now she has left her husband and livig with her brother.. but imagine if her brother wasnt there.. she could neva leave the house and move away.. as she wouldnt have anyone to depend on.. also girls are scared to leave as they dont want to dishonour their family.Ouch. my cuzin was lucky as her parents and her other relative propa supported her throughout the whole thing.. TongueTongue


personally.. i believe more in love marriages than arranged therefore i think it is very highly doubtful that i will get married in india... i wouldnt prefer to get married in india because of the huge culture differences.. and the truth is no matter how well-educted the person is in india.. they will very unlikely get a good job here.. and i would like for my husband to be on the same earning level as me.. as it may cause a issue of dispute later in life... my parents agree with what i think and they will neva force me to get married where i didnt want to.. my parents are quite chilled out about the whole love marriage idea.. as my sis had a love marriage.. my dad doesnt mind if i have a love marriage but doesnt want me to have a bf LOL i go to him it doesnt work that way.. but he sed that as along my partner is a indian, sikh jatt, from a good family back ground and has good eductaion thats ok.. i told him that its a long wish list lolzLOL

i hope that this hasnt been discussed before and that i havent offended anyone.. im sorry if i have Tongue

anywys i wana hear your opinions now Tongue


Edited by DeSi*KuRi* - 20 February 2008 at 5:48am

Xplicit_Desii IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 09 September 2005
Posts: 35265

Posted: 25 January 2008 at 5:59pm | IP Logged
i soo knoww wuh u talkinn abott n datzz tru..they marry u juz to comee heree n denn they leavee u n go marry sum1 else..datz lykee hella messed up tho!

datz y i dun wanna get married in indiaa i meant d guy from indiaa!!
AashiQ_ IF-Dazzler

Joined: 27 September 2006
Posts: 4790

Posted: 26 January 2008 at 12:57am | IP Logged
Well my uncles got married to Indian womans and everything goes good... but when ur a Girl living in a western country.. i don't think u can trust a man from India den (sometimes u can Tongue )... becuz a friend of my mom married a Indian man and he had a wife and kids there in India... soo most Indian guys come here for the visa yeah... lol Tongue

Edited by Raj* - 26 January 2008 at 12:57am
pysh Senior Member

Joined: 28 March 2007
Posts: 239

Posted: 26 January 2008 at 12:10pm | IP Logged
yup its only guys its even girls
some of them just run away from the air port
Angelic_J IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 19 June 2005
Posts: 13213

Posted: 26 January 2008 at 11:32pm | IP Logged

*Viewbie's Note*

It's a nice topic so I have put it up as this week's Discussion Of The WeekSmile

Please carry on with the discussionsBig smile

~*simran*~ IF-Rockerz

Joined: 30 June 2005
Posts: 6080

Posted: 27 January 2008 at 4:31am | IP Logged

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DeSi*KuRi* Goldie

Joined: 06 November 2006
Posts: 1517

Posted: 27 January 2008 at 6:50am | IP Logged
Originally posted by JK_5

*Viewbie's Note*

It's a nice topic so I have put it up as this week's Discussion Of The WeekSmile

Please carry on with the discussionsBig smile


Awww.. thank- you for making it the DOTW... Tongue

DeSi*KuRi* Goldie

Joined: 06 November 2006
Posts: 1517

Posted: 27 January 2008 at 7:05am | IP Logged

Originally posted by ~*simran*~

Haye, I have so much to say on this topic, but time hai hi nahi ji. In short, I could only marry NRI, non reilable Indian like assi LOL, b/c I can not adjust. Well I could, but why should I ji? Anywayz, if I start, I'll go on and on.

One thing I want to say you're wrong is, and I think only thing is this ji.....

and the truth is no matter how well-educted the person is in india.. they will very unlikely get a good job here.. and i would like for my husband to be on the same earning level as me..

.......This is so wrong. People from India and China who come to North America get jobs that we as people staying here need to climb ladders for. I mean wahaan se aate hain, and they get to be head of departments, doctors at the top of the list, they establish buisness that a lot work under. For example, in America, the head of the Pepsi agency is an Indian woman from India. Then there is this Mehta who is head of a very hotel chain, also came from India. We work, one step at a time, and people come from India(most) and earn on average $154 000 a year ji. One thing I'll agree, I'll feel so akward with my hubby if he is from India earning that, and I'm earning $80, 000 a year. People from India are damn smart ji, and they know how to earn the money. I guess studying that rigrously does pay off for them. I've studied in India there, and they are so smart, and lots that I know personally, and from HHSC class statistics show that Indians and Chinese who are non residental, earn more than North Americans on average.

So marrying in this situation should not regard on the money matter, we'll lose badly LOL, but on the adjustment and culture factors ji. We are raised with our cultural values ghar pe, but at school pe we are sewen into western views, and without knowing it we accomodate them in our lives ji. I can't marry a guy from there b/c I'm a person values the culture but against the soch. I've been brought up where I've learned to live Canadianly along with Indianly. I need a guy who is willing to get the fact that girls are equal, pati parmeshar toh patni devi, not just one ji.

Haye, don't kill me, it's my birthday, kal ko you can lol. Please don't mind, my opinion of what I've seen in life ji, and saare right b/c of what they've seen life. I haven't seen every aspect of life and have no right to comment on it. But I've seen some, and I shall haila bol on that LOL

Enjoy bachcha log!

Hello Sello 2 everybody

Firstly.. Happy Birthday Simran..!!!

And I wont kill you, Im happy that you replied..

I understand, money shouldnt matter, but it is vital that one should think about their future..

From the examples that u gave, it seems that there are numerous successful people however the people arent, can not be ignored.. most people who come in englnad dont get decent jobs as the equivalent of their qualifications isnt same here.. my uncle that been extremly highly eductated in india.. but today he works in a manufacturing factory on the production line.. im saying that he doesnt make enough money what he rightly deserves after studying so hard..my firend's bhabi was a computer conslutant in india and now she works in a cash 'n' carry and in KFC on weekends to earn extra money.. they have to work extra hard to become successful..

maybe im a weak person thats why i cant handle this..

in the future, i believe if a british person and a indian person.. the british perosn will sadly get it even though indian person may be more capable..

i have seen many examples of couples struggling because of this, and therefore that is my view on it..,

i think that people have progressed loads here through their hard work but if they got their dues, they would have done better.. im so proud of us indians as they have faced so many trails and tribulations but still managed to get on top..  



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