In their syndrome of "what other people say?" my parents, also
drag us down with rules and the norms of society. (though who
made such a rule, I will never know. If I do, I will shoot them 😡 )
Sometimes, we rebel, other times, we abide to our parents wishes,
just because we don't want to hurt their feelings.
Exactly Caryn YOU give in because YOU do not want
to hurt your parents - Hurting your parents hurts you and so u
want to avoid that displeasure, right???
With regard to others, who are more worried about "what will
people around me will say?" - well it is again their choice. Wagging
tongues can not be stopped, we should learn to choose the best for
ourselves. The same person might decide to ignore comments from
people around if the situation is a question of life and death -
again priorities differ.There is nothing general in this - case specific,
situation specific only. My contention is that please do not drag
tradition/customs in to this - not that I plead for traditions, it is
just that I do not believe in passing the blame
Exactly Caryn YOU give in because YOU do not want
to hurt your parents - Hurting your parents hurts you and so u
want to avoid that displeasure, right???
With regard to others, who are more worried about "what will
people around me will say?" - well it is again their choice. Wagging
tongues can not be stopped, we should learn to choose the best for
ourselves. The same person might decide to ignore comments from
people around if the situation is a question of life and death -
again priorities differ.There is nothing general in this - case specific,
situation specific only. My contention is that please do not drag
tradition/customs in to this - not that I plead for traditions, it is
just that I do not believe in passing the blame
Right, now, Hubby wants to get ahemm almost every other day and shes not ready. Well, my advise well, i got this through these chat shows. Well, is for her to speak to him and explain why she is not ready and tell him not to be physical. If not is for them to go through some counciling. Otherwise, this is going to be a quite tough to do is for them to separate for a little while until she gets some space and go through some counciling separately.
She says she has tried explaining to him that things change as you grow and a womans body cant respond the same way as he demands....blah blah. According to him she is not romantic lately and is acting like a senior citizen...because she refuses...what crap!
Yes Madhu 'what crap' acting a senior citzen, well he is one advise for the young lad, shes not ready and dont force them otherwise, shes going to suffer more through your pressure. Frankly, hes the senior citzen because hes demanding her to do this not her.
He spent a lot of money for her birthday and got her expensive gifts .....thinkignt that will change her....my friend is now offended that her husband is trying to kind of "BUY IT". Even more the reason she has mentally drifted from him.....she now totally detests his touch even. But she realized that this issue between was taking a toll on their family time so he she has resorted to acceptance and gives in to her husbands demands even though "getting into the bedroom totally creeps her out".
Well, her weakness is allowing him to buy expensive gifts in order to do the thing. Actually, recieving expensive gifts from your loved one aint a problem but then in order to relative this for the physical matter aint good. Therefore, she must avoid this from happening.
When she told me all this.....i really did not know what to say. Its easy for me to say that she has to fight back... i have no clue as to how to advise her!!! Madhu, hopefully my advise in blue will help you. 😳 Tell us how it goes.