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DOTW:most disturbing vices of our society

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Fazila~

IF-Stunnerz

Fazila~

Joined: 16 July 2007

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Posted: 08 December 2007 at 1:22pm | IP Logged

 

   Hi friends.......we are going to discuss the most disturbing vices of our society. People dont look at inner beauty, they go for outer beauty, fair colour and beautiful girls will pass for anything... especially for a good rishta, but if the girl is little dark or doesnt have good features... thats it.....she cant get a good proposal.....all she will end up is with ppl who will want her , not for herself but for something she has..... like money....

Same thing is happening in the serial Bidai.... Ragni is a sweet girl and shes only little dark, otherwise shes a good human and very attractive. But as she doesnt meet that criteria for a beautiful girl, she is having hard time in getting proposals for herself.... and what and where will she end up with....Poor her, the ppl who have come for her hand are a pack of lalchee ppl, all they are after is her money and not for her.... What will  her future be like with them??? Will they keep her happy or will she live miseribly ever after???

Cant we fight our society against this??? Are we educated enough to leave all this backwardness behind us and move forward???What can we do to stop this???

Should parents feel pressured in accepting any proposal and the undue demands of the boys family like Ragini's mother feels?

Should Ragini's mother feel so insecue of Sadhna and her fair color that she did not let Sadhna come in front of the and his family and that she and Nani want to separate Ragini and boy Sadhna.

PLz comment..... thanks :)

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harleen grewal

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harleen grewal

Joined: 31 October 2005

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Posted: 10 December 2007 at 6:22pm | IP Logged
i agree i hate it when ppl judge because of their apperance

Fazila~

IF-Stunnerz

Fazila~

Joined: 16 July 2007

Posts: 32730

Posted: 11 December 2007 at 3:50am | IP Logged
Originally posted by harleen grewal

i agree i hate it when ppl judge because of their apperance
And what should we do to fight all this???

ovaltine

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ovaltine

Joined: 07 September 2005

Posts: 2506

Posted: 11 December 2007 at 7:17pm | IP Logged
What will  her future be like with them??? Will they keep her happy or will she live miseribly ever after???

It would be difficult to say, some girls end up happy some face a worse fate. For drama purposes, they will show the negative side should the marriage go through.  The idea of the story is to show how society really works and then open the eyes of those watching. 

Cant we fight our society against this??? Are we educated enough to leave all this backwardness behind us and move forward???What can we do to stop this???

The answer lies in education.  Changing the social misconceptions.  I see media as an important tool in this purpose.  I think this issue if well handled in this serial will serve as a thinking platform to the masses. Women need to have self-respect and parents too. 

I live overseas, and here the colour issue is not such a big thing.  For us it is more of marrying out of our race/religion that is an issue, since I live in a multiracial country.

But within our community, yes when a mother or aunt goes around looking at potential rishtas, then the description falls , is she padhi likhi, uchi/lambhi, gori-citti  etc.  But I have seen vice-versa here, a very dark man marrying a very fair woman and many cases of that. Mind you the men are not filthy rich so money is not a lure.  Rather it is the earning capability, social standing of the family, the nature of the man that is taken into consideration.  But in the case of dark-skinned women, the criteria is different.  If given a choice, a fairer woman is chosen.

So, what does a dark-skin woman do?  I think she should jump on the career bandwagon and make herself successful.  That is what we do overseas, I don't know about India.  Here a working woman is more marketable than a stay home fair skin woman.



Should parents feel pressured in accepting any proposal and the undue demands of the boys family like Ragini's mother feels?

Ragini's mother is eager to get her daughter married and sees that unless she is married, Ragini can never be happy.  A spinster can never be happy.  I revolt against that thought.  But unfortunately, that is the thinking of society.  People are under the false impression that they can buy happiness.  We need to rid ourselves of this belief first.

Should Ragini's mother feel so insecure of Sadhna and her fair color that she did not let Sadhna come in front of the and his family and that she and Nani want to separate Ragini and boy Sadhna.


They show her as a desperate mother who has no faith in society.  A society that judges not according to personality but on physical appearance.  Rather than see her daughter a spinster, she would do anything in her power to ensure her daughter is wed.  It is indeed sad.  If she was a strong woman, she would learn to realize the attributes of her daughter and make her strong and independent.  And the boy who choses Ragini over Sadhana is the appropriate suitor.  But what to say.  The family doesn't believe in woman working and building a life for themselves outside of the family.  The whole mindset has to change.

Fazila~

IF-Stunnerz

Fazila~

Joined: 16 July 2007

Posts: 32730

Posted: 12 December 2007 at 9:33am | IP Logged
Clap Clap Clap very well said........but in our asian countries girls are now being educated......but not in villages and small towns....i know in the west there is no such thing as black/ white....infact parents will be more happy if the kids marry within their religion, like u said.......and yes media can change ppls thinking.........if they show it all the right way and dont mess it all up........

appu_m

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appu_m

Joined: 08 March 2007

Posts: 748

Posted: 13 December 2007 at 11:34am | IP Logged
What will her future be like with them??? Will they keep her happy or will she live miseribly ever after??? Cant we fight our society against this??? Are we educated enough to leave all this backwardness behind us and move forward??? What can we do to stop this???

>>It will depend on the luck of the girl. I think in society so many women face such situation. This type of serials even if they show so much miseries and all people wont change. Some people (in laws) now a days also don't accept girls coming from some other background even if she is well educated and fair. Whatever we do some peoples thoughts we cant change. Education is just a stepping stone.. there will be so many hardships involved. I have seen the typical MIL - DIL "Jagda" relations existing even in high society houses. Moving forward in our relationship should start in each mind and each house then only we can come over such situations.

Should parents feel pressured in accepting any proposal and the undue demands of the boys family like Ragini's mother feels? Should Ragini's mother feel so insecue of Sadhna and her fair color that she did not let Sadhna come in front of the and his family and that she and Nani want to separate Ragini and boy Sadhna.

>>As in our culture now this is the trend that dowry is a part of marriages obviously Ragini's parents will have more pressure. I know Dowry is banned still that is custom in some countries especially India. Ragini's mother will feel insecure bcoz of Sadhna. But she should think that even if she is also dark she got a husband like mamaji so she should believe in her daughter and god.




Fazila ..can u pls add "DOTW" in the topic. i think then people will notice this topic

Fazila~

IF-Stunnerz

Fazila~

Joined: 16 July 2007

Posts: 32730

Posted: 18 December 2007 at 9:38am | IP Logged

Clap Clap very well said appu_m........i guess our thinking has to change.......we are still living in stone age.....we might have progressed, have gone up to the moon, beyond that now.......but when it comes to DIL and dark n fair girls.......and bahus etc.... we are still living in the past.....sigh........i guess our new generation will have to take the stand and from then we can move forward towards a better brighter future....... Embarrassed

The topic has DOTW..........i guess ppl dont want to face reality... cause it hurts.......Wink



Edited by Fazila~ - 18 December 2007 at 9:38am

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