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Type of Marriages - Personal Vedicts? (Page 5)

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~globetrotter~

Groupbie

~globetrotter~

Joined: 31 December 2006

Posts: 165

Posted: 21 December 2007 at 6:00pm | IP Logged
I dont think either is necessarily "better" than the other. To each their own. I personally could never, ever see myself in an arranged marriage. I think I'd hate my husband out of sheer rebellion. But then again, this comes from a girl who wont even let my mum choose my clothes for me leave alone a husband. LOL IMO, I dont even think it matters how two people get together...I think you'd find all sorts of interesting stories by couples who've been married for years on how fate or relatives brought them together...in the end what matters is not how you got together, but whether you have what it takes to STAY together.

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_charu_

IF-Sizzlerz

_charu_

Joined: 05 August 2007

Posts: 21878

Posted: 24 December 2007 at 4:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by raj5000

Originally posted by lighthouse

 

Have you seen a married couple who has been married for 2 or more years?

 Can you tell if they had love or arranged marriage? You see it doesn't matter,  love or arranged , the couples will look and behave the same in most cases. Smile

Very easy, if after 2 years they havn't started fighting thats a arranged marraige, still figuring it out LOLLOL

No, seeing the stressLOL or asking few question one can easily make out. Ask them what is the date they first met and when is thier monthly anniversary... arranged marraige duo will looseLOLLOL Yes there are exception always...LOL

OMG how can you say that? I have had an arranged marriage and for me my hubby is the best person I  have met. We remember our anniversaries, and all the dates. I don't know you're married or not otherwise you would have known the meaning of marriage and whether love marriage is better or arranged. It's not true that in arranged marriages , couples don't know each other. Arranged marriage is not like tdy you met, tomorrow you say "yes" and day after you're getting married. The courtship period of 2-3-6-7 months is enough time to know about each other. Secondly there's no parental pressure that you HAVE to say yes..ultimately it's your decision. Of course you can decide in those few hours that this is the person i wanna spend the rest of my life with. Doesn't love happen in a moment?

I'm not advocating either type of marriage. In both the cases, life after marriage remains the same. the problems, the joys , the sorrows remain silimar. But in both type of marriages, one MUST be practical in choosing their partners. They must know what they want from life for themselves... 

Love & love marriage is not what is shown on TV or movies. making compromises, adjustments after marriage is NOT easy. It's not that a rich girl marries a poor guy and they live happily ever after. Sometimes when couples go against their parents they have to start their lives from zero. It may or may not work . At least in arranged marriage you have the support of your family , your parents which matters a lot. More than love marriage, i'm against the idea of  eloping n marry against their parents wishes.

Life after marriage is all about making compromises, adjustments , sharing and understanding, how well you can adjust with your spouse's family etc.. and the only thing which can make you do this is "love & contentment with your partner and yourself"

Yeah

IF-Dazzler

Yeah

Joined: 22 June 2006

Posts: 4772

Posted: 24 December 2007 at 9:30am | IP Logged
I was actually talking to mom... and I was like mom I really don't want an arranged marriage... im stilll young, that should be the last thing on my mind... but still I told her.... adn she was like of course not.... we know that you're gonna marry a guy that u like.... and then she was like...KEY POINT:

No one these days would even agree to have an arranged marriage.

Personally...in the recent past the weddings that I have seen have fallen under the following catagoree...

-guy is old, needs to get married -arranged marriage
-girl needs to get married, is getting older- arranged marriage
-girl is born/brought up abraod but parents find EXTREMELY rich guy in India- arranged marriage
-girl wants to come to US/Canada agrees to marry a not-very good-looking guy- arranged marriage

and all these happened in the past year!

so yeahhh basically...in the recent past I haven't seen any arranged marriages because well they wanted an arranged marriage... each marriage had a very specifc purpose...

and basically... I would rather spend my life alone than have an arranged marriage. This is primarily because in my opinion you should marry the person you love and really care about. Yes you'll eventualyl fall in love with the person ur arranged to marry....but I would want to fall in love first then marry... To me there's no point in getting married for the sake of getting married... If I ever want to marry it will be beacuse I really love the person adn we really care about each other... not because my paretns think I'm getting too old or because I need a rich brat in my life or because I need to call some of my relatives from India....

soo basically: Fall in Love First, then get married! Wink

_charu_

IF-Sizzlerz

_charu_

Joined: 05 August 2007

Posts: 21878

Posted: 25 December 2007 at 3:03am | IP Logged

Originally posted by Yeah

I was actually talking to mom... and I was like mom I really don't want an arranged marriage... im stilll young, that should be the last thing on my mind... but still I told her.... adn she was like of course not.... we know that you're gonna marry a guy that u like.... and then she was like...KEY POINT:

No one these days would even agree to have an arranged marriage.

Personally...in the recent past the weddings that I have seen have fallen under the following catagoree...

-guy is old, needs to get married -arranged marriage
-girl needs to get married, is getting older- arranged marriage
-girl is born/brought up abraod but parents find EXTREMELY rich guy in India- arranged marriage
-girl wants to come to US/Canada agrees to marry a not-very good-looking guy- arranged marriage

and all these happened in the past year!

so yeahhh basically...in the recent past I haven't seen any arranged marriages because well they wanted an arranged marriage... each marriage had a very specifc purpose...

and basically... I would rather spend my life alone than have an arranged marriage. This is primarily because in my opinion you should marry the person you love and really care about. Yes you'll eventualyl fall in love with the person ur arranged to marry....but I would want to fall in love first then marry... To me there's no point in getting married for the sake of getting married... If I ever want to marry it will be beacuse I really love the person adn we really care about each other... not because my paretns think I'm getting too old or because I need a rich brat in my life or because I need to call some of my relatives from India....

soo basically: Fall in Love First, then get married! Wink

I respect your opinion coz ur not married yet. Whether u fall in love earlier or later, married life is just the same. I instantly fell in love with the person who was chosen by my parents. I guess everybody has a wrong picture of arranged marriages. It's not like it was 20-30 years back when the girl and boy hardly met before marriage and their "yes" or "no" didn't matter. The times have drastically changed. Now even if parents suggest that this is the girl or boy, they never force their opinion on their children. I read recently that the youngsters in metros nowdays prefer more arranged marriages bec. it gives them a security in every way and also, freedom to say yes or no. there's no compulsion of any kind. Just bec. your parents have selected ur partner doesn't mean he/she will be bad.

I think "love" is a totally different thing and it should not be mixed with marriage. Be it arranged marriage or love, think think and rethink twice thrice before taking this BIG decision.

Yeah

IF-Dazzler

Yeah

Joined: 22 June 2006

Posts: 4772

Posted: 26 December 2007 at 2:45pm | IP Logged
I think basically it comes down to destiny...

In my opinion... If you're destined to be with somone, then some way or the other u two will meeet and it'll work.... basically... puri kayanat tum dono ko milane ke liye jud jati hainn LOL (Go om shanti om LOL)

I guess that's wat it comes down to and arranged/love marriages are all just names for the work of God.

*Jane*

Senior Member

*Jane*

Joined: 25 October 2004

Posts: 479

Posted: 27 December 2007 at 12:06pm | IP Logged
It doesn't matter either way, in my opinion. Arranged or Love (or even if it was a shot-gun wedding LOL), either way the people involved are going to have to put forth the effort to keep that bond. That's what matters really, in the long run, to be willing and able to work for that marriage rather then the circumstance surrounding how/why they got married.

mz.jess

IF-Sizzlerz

mz.jess

Joined: 01 January 2007

Posts: 17025

Posted: 29 December 2007 at 8:09pm | IP Logged
Araanged or Love

Both of the people that are comitted should take their vows seriously and try their best to understand eachother. If there is trust then problems will rarely occur.

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