"I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death -- if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."
-- Severus Snape.
courtesy: http://tributeforsnape.blogspot.com/
Snape's secrets
What could he possibly hide? A smile...a laugh?
Oh, yes I will...
Who said he couldn't smile?! Here is a relaxed Snape, how natural, walking down the hall ; )
The dunderheads are punished lol.... like this :P
Snape: I'm having a blast hitting you,
Potter! Let's do it more often, shall we!
Potter: Can I retaliate?
Snape: Of course not! And that's the beauty of it all! Oh I love this movie! Let's hope I get to curse Umbridge or throw some cutting remarks at her!
Hello!! I'm Snape's boggart! I'm in front of a whole class and I'm having the time of my life, hence letting go of my rigid stature, cold reserve and strict rules! All right everyone, let's party the night away until we can stand no more!! 1000 points for Gryffindor!!
(Real Snape) -Haaaaaahhh!! What a nightmare, stop it, Lupin!! Stop it!!
Albus: Don't you think they look like angels sleeping like that, Severus?
Snape: Ha ha ha! Oh Albus, you silly old man! That's the best joke you've cracked up ever since you said Potter ought to be promoted Head Boy next year!
Albus: I don't think I follow you there, Severus!
Snape: Well, isn't it obvious how cynical that is?! Saying angel and student in the same sentence! That's the same as saying: "Lockhart is the wisest wizard I ever met!"
Albus: Well, as long as it makes you laugh. Then let me add that not only do they look like angels, but it also looks as though they'll sleep so well tonight, they'll surely end up ready for class ten minutes early, extra long homework in hand, ready to be taught Potions as eagerly as a they attend a Quidditch Finale!
Snape: Ha ha ha! (another fit of laugher) Stop it! I can't take it anymore!! That's the most sarcastic you've ever gotten, old man! Oh my! (wiping out the tears of enjoyment at the corners of his eyes) And you forgot that Potter will surely hand me a "Best Teacher Ever" effigy while asking for his expulsion after realising all the stupid dangerous stunts he's put himself in along with endangering his friends!
Policeman: Please, follow us, sir!
Snape: I told you, I didn't touch a single hair of that nitwit!
Policeman: Yes, yes. Well, the problem is that we have witnesses who say he was swept off his feet, pushed against the wall, and finally unable to breath for a while right after arguing with you but they also say they never saw you touch him. Yet, the clerk presses charges against you. He says you used some trick on him or something. So if you would please follow us to the station, we'll sort this out with all the necessary papers.
Snape (clipped insulted tone): But I did nothing! How can you trust what an idiotic clerk who couldn't understand words over four letters and who purposely refused to give me a hand in looking out for a book, saying it surely didn't exist while I know it does?!
Policeman: I know, but procedures are procedures and we need to make sure to close the case using all the appropriate papers since you were all shouting so loud and since the clerk looked so panicked, witnesses called us for reinforcements and when that happens, we need to investigate and make sure nothing really happened.
(Snape muttering) Oh believe me! When I get my wand back from the Olliwander after he fixes it, you won't remember anything happened at all either! And where is the Ministry Muggle-Squad when you need it?! Incompetents!
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