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Jab we eloped : Saga of Eloped couples

IdeaQueen IF-Dazzler
IdeaQueen
IdeaQueen

Joined: 23 August 2006
Posts: 3152

Posted: 26 October 2007 at 10:53am | IP Logged
Eloping : The act of running away from home without the knowledge of family members!!
Recently.....the telugu actor..chiranjeevi's daughter.... eloped and married her dream boy...this is a sensational news in AP and in nation for a while..
the interesting part is...she went to the media and revealed the details ,videos of the marriage and still the transactions with the parents are going live..thro' media...she filed a case is delhi court about their protection and all....
....that's the case
http://www.extramirchi.com/telugu/chiranjeevis-younger-daugh ter-run-away-
from-home-and-weds-lover/
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  1. In general,Why is it that the act of marrying the loved one's without the knowledge of parents( I guess this process is called elopingEmbarrassedTongue)..looked that much down.....????
  2. Is eloping a sin?
  3. What's the role of parents in their child's marriage? or Is it better to leave the decision to the children.....?
  4. Do the children have basic courtesy of informing /seeking the permission of parents?Confused
  5. What are the acceptable (generally) levels of elope...are there some factors like...good job,basic settlement...(just as proof that they are mentally matured)?
  6. Should anyone help these elopers in their life(marriage issues) in future...otr should theyleave them to their hell or heaven?

lighthouse IF-Dazzler
lighthouse
lighthouse

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 2842

Posted: 26 October 2007 at 2:15pm | IP Logged

 I am shocked..!!! Do people still elope in this day and age? Confused It was common in the 70's. LOL Most of the times it is usualy a license to become intimate then for love. Tongue

 I don't know how old this girl is but usually elopers are in the range of 15-24 with uncontrolled raging hormones (and sometimes over controlling parents). Never seen a 30 year old pair elope. LOL

 I feel until one is mentally and emotionaly mature or at least they are 25, let parents/elders guide you in making life changing decisions that you have to live with.   



Edited by lighthouse - 26 October 2007 at 2:21pm
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Posted: 26 October 2007 at 5:33pm | IP Logged
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return_to_hades IF-Veteran Member
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Posts: 21527

Posted: 27 October 2007 at 12:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by mythili_Kiran


  1. In general,Why is it that the act of marrying the loved one's without the knowledge of parents( I guess this process is called elopingEmbarrassedTongue)..looked that much down.....????

    While many times eloping is a necesscity because the older generation can be caught in an incorrect prejudice regarding class, caste, religion and other differences. Or sometimes parents have misconceptions about their children's needs and lack understanding.

    Unfortunately, a lot of the eloping that happens is due to immaturity of the youth. They become blinded by their love that they forget about the feelings about others. Sometimes parents are not even opposed to relationships but just have clauses like fulfilling responsibilities like education or securing steady jobs before marriage. And sometimes parents are right in saying that the boy/girl is not the right choice. There are many who have eloped and regretted.

    Also in India we place a high emphasis on family prestige and pride. Eloping can mar that. So people tend to look down on eloping.



  2. Is eloping a sin?

    Not at all.

  3. What's the role of parents in their child's marriage? or Is it better to leave the decision to the children.....?

    I think a collective decision is the best. I personally subscribe to the principle of 'arranged love'. Our arranged marriage system is somewhat like a global dating service.

    If you happen to meet someone and fall in love, great. But some people are shy, some people do not know where to look, some people fall for the wrong people. Then there is the confusion in relationships, where is it going, when will we both be ready for marriage, is this serious or is this time pass.

    When a person feels they are ready for marriage friends and family can arrange them to meet suitable prospects. I personally feel that in a good family environment friends and family can help pick someone who will match your interests and personality. Nowadays, people are not as conservative and are open to any communities. The benefit also is you are meeting people ready to get committed into marriage and do not have to worry about commitment mind games.

    You meet the person for a bit, hang out and see if you click. If you click you can move on, if not share goodbyes and part amicably.


    This way both parents and children can be equally involved in the choices.

  4. Do the children have basic courtesy of informing /seeking the permission of parents?Confused

    I think they should gather courage to inform their parents of the decision asap. It is courtesy as well as courage. If you believe you are doing the right thing, do not be a wuss about it.

  5. What are the acceptable (generally) levels of elope...are there some factors like...good job,basic settlement...(just as proof that they are mentally matured)?

    Mental maturity is most important. You want someone who is ready to shoulder responsibility willingly. A mature relationship is also important. How well do you know each other, are you ready for this, can you support each other through his, how will this effect your relationship, what is your plan of action, do you have some common goals and ideas for life and the future, how long can you really be without your family, do you love this person enough to risk a lifetime of family love. These are questions that need to be asked but probably never do.

    Finally job and settlement counts. It is not about the job or income, but more about the person's level of hard work and dedication in life.


  6. Should anyone help these elopers in their life(marriage issues) in future...otr should theyleave them to their hell or heaven?

    Tough decision really. Sometimes it is best to leave them on their own. However, sometimes you may know the parties well enough and be someone close that you have to make a choice. Before doing anything try to assess their relationship and probe their reasons for eloping and their maturity. If it is convincing help them. Better a known person help than they seek help from a wrong person. If it is not convincing try to help them make a better choice instead of eloping.

    Sometimes even if you want to there is nothing you can do.

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Posted: 28 October 2007 at 6:54am | IP Logged
hmmm good topic myth Smile

eloping is wrong!

in todays' day and age, parents have become a lot more open minded in
their willingness to accept their child's love and help them take the right
and mature decision. so as LH said, it isnt as popular among ppl of my
generation as it was among ppl of my parents' generation and older.

either way, whether parents accept the relationship or not, they know
better. running away from home to marry the person you "love" and trade
in parent's love is putting yourself at a loss. How do two young lovers
know they truly love one another and will spend the rest of their lives
together? Its most likely a decision taken in haste. Later when the regret
it, or the no longer love this person, they have no one else to turn to.
Parents are the biggest support system in our lives. from the time we are
born till the time they die, they give up their everything for us.

not only is it morally wrong, buy it is impractical as well. Not only
emotionally, but the youngsters eloping need their parents for financial
support as well. once they run off and marry their "true love" how to thay
plan on supportying one another? hs/college students rely on their
parent. what will they do now? the "undying love" will provide for a roof
over their head, clothes on thie backs and food in their stomach. I think
not!

if 2 people really do love one another, they should talk to their parents
and try 2 convince them. if the parents do not agree, there must be a
reason for it. accept what they are saying and leard to live w/ their
decision. maybe when the 2 lovers are old and mature enough (25+) they
are ready, emotionally, financially and in every other way, to leave their
parents to fulfill thier personal desires. As mayadi said, it isnt really
eloping if its mature adults. being 18 or even 21 and tagged as "adult"
doesnt make one mature enough to take life changing decisions,
especially if they go against the elders' wishes
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