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A Temporary Exile - Flash fiction

Morgoth IF-Veteran Member
Morgoth
Morgoth

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Joined: 01 June 2004
Posts: 6832

Posted: 13 October 2007 at 6:18am | IP Logged

Piece removed due to class restrictions.



Edited by Morgoth - 18 October 2007 at 10:52am

SuhanaSafar IF-Rockerz
SuhanaSafar
SuhanaSafar

Joined: 09 December 2006
Posts: 5229

Posted: 15 October 2007 at 3:06pm | IP Logged
Nice to see you back Tanaz! Very realistic story. I love your descriptions and how you wrote it from the perspective of the little girl. Kids can be so mean sometimes!

I just wish it were a little longer because it seemed to end too fast, but I do realize that it was actually the perfect length for what you were trying to say. Nicely written. Big smile
Morgoth IF-Veteran Member
Morgoth
Morgoth

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Joined: 01 June 2004
Posts: 6832

Posted: 16 October 2007 at 6:22am | IP Logged
Thanks for the feedback, Suhana! Smile

Any areas for improvement?
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