A Temporary Exile - Flash fiction

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Morgoth

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Joined: 01 June 2004

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Posted: 13 October 2007 at 6:18am | IP Logged

Piece removed due to class restrictions.

Edited by Morgoth - 18 October 2007 at 10:52am

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SuhanaSafar

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Joined: 09 December 2006

Posts: 5228

Posted: 15 October 2007 at 3:06pm | IP Logged

Nice to see you back Tanaz! Very realistic story. I love your descriptions and how you wrote it from the perspective of the little girl. Kids can be so mean sometimes!

I just wish it were a little longer because it seemed to end too fast, but I do realize that it was actually the perfect length for what you were trying to say. Nicely written. Big smile

Morgoth

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Joined: 01 June 2004

Posts: 6832

Posted: 16 October 2007 at 6:22am | IP Logged

Thanks for the feedback, Suhana! Smile

Any areas for improvement?

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A Temporary Exile - Flash fiction

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