LETHAL INSTINCTS - new rn fic - Page 50

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gazal @gazal_sameer Senior Member Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by sumaiya wahid

Truely gr8 ending. Simply luved it. Raj was so emotional in the hospital but agian so romantic. And Naina is just gr8. She took the drugs despite her pregnency. I luv this lovely couple. I
really liked Naina's interrogation to Navin as to y he shot Raj. Even I had the same ques. And it was gud dat all confusions regarding Navin wer sorted out. That scene was really nice.

I cant blv Raj n Naina named their child Aalekh. But then they r too sweet to be angry wid him all their life.

Raj ka "mamu ko pareshan kar" wala idea was gud. And the funniest thing was Aalekh's singing. How sweet!!!!

I really loved this ending. I guess the other ending is tragic n so u r ryt dat it will be chosen over dat. But anyways, I'd luv to read that as well.

Pls continue soon.

i m glad to know that u r waiting for other end too

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gazal @gazal_sameer Senior Member Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

she looked down the length of the long dark tunnel....
a stray light leaking from a far-away distance....

the last light.....

there would be no more pain...

no more anguish..

she had mastered the damage done to her body...
and all that was needed...
was a last step ahead....

into the vaccum...

hands clamped to her shoulder..
she headed towards it...

towards a deep slumber..

a final sleep...

towards the end.........

but...what were those sounds...
those calls of misery...of love??...

koi mujhe bula raha hai....

suddenly a shining white light appeared at the end of the
tunnel....
"chalo naina...it's time...."

"naina!!!!..nia!!..jaan!!...
you can't leave me....
utho!!!"

koi...koi mujhe....

"koi nahin hai naina...
we're headed towards a long journey....
your association with the
circle of life ends here..."

"par....woh aawaazein...i have to go back...."
she seemed distressed...her eyelids heavy...

confused...

ek taraf maut khadi thi...
in an absolute peaceful form...
she'd be rid of the problems in the world..
rid of all hatred...all emotions..

phir kyon zindagi ki taraf jaane
ka mann kar raha tha??

then..she heard another voice...

"dil ki daastaan jab waqt sunaaega...
mujhe ek shaks zaroor yaad aaega...

bhool jaayenge zindagi ke saare gum...
jab tere saath bitaaya hua har woh pal yaad aaega....."

"close your eyes naina...come with me...."
the white form...stepped closer...

"main nahi jaana chaahti...
i want to live......
live..to...love...."

"you have to step along with me willingly...

nahi to tumhaara soul...it'll shatter into pieces

naina....wahaan..jahaan main tumhe le jaa raha
hoon..koi dard nahi hoga...
you'll feel lighter...and your heart will be calm...."

"aur...woh log jo mujhe...
my husband....my brother...
unka kya hoga?......"

"life has to go on...
jab tak bhagwaan chaahenge...

tab tak woh jiyenge...aur phir..

ek din..tum unse phir milogi....
there is no alternative....."

"tum..kaun ho?..."

"just a messenger....
a messenger of the supreme power
that drives the world....
he calls upon you....

remember naina...life is a stage..
and we're all actors ....
and your part in the play ends here......"

she hung her head...

her head heavy....

she gave her trembling hand to the white light....

and moved into the tunnel...
not looking back.....

hopin..the pain in her heart would disappear.........

as life disappeared.....
.......................

no tears fell down his cheeks...
as he held onto her dead form....

"she has to come back raj..
humein chod kar woh jaa hi nahin sakti..."

"agar yeh nahi aayi..to main uske paas chala
jaaoonga...i promise her that..."

he added..determined...

"nia...sis....come back yaar.."
navin was shaking her....
sobbing....knowing..that he was too late....

"haah!!...marr gayi hai woh....
ab sado uski laash ke saath tum dono..."
B.C grunted.....

"she's not dead...."
raj held his nerve....

"oh yes ,she is!!!..."
shalini smiled...

these two were ruthless...
and although they were tightly held by
a bleeding yudi..huda and abhimanyu...
they didn't shut their mouths...

"navin...nanoo!..."
raj shook him....

"ro kyon raha hai yaar???
abhi to keh raha tha..
she can't leave us..

we've promised each other ...
saari zindagi ek doosre ka sar khaayenge...!"
raj smiled...

"uff!!..kya nautanki hai!
aye major..yeh drama kahin aur jaa kar karna...
she's dead...
and check her pulse if you don't believe it!"
shalini shook her head...

his anger knew no bounds....

he rushed towards her side..
and began throttling her neck...
"woh..zinda hai!!!..
u understand????"

no one stopped him..
and they all realised the truth....

their friend had truly left this world....

"chod usse!"
B.C screamed.....

raj slapped him hard from the back of his hand...
snatched the gun from yudi's hand....

and fired at both of them...till the bullets ceased
to exist........

trembling...he approached her..
"hadh ho gayi !
naina utho...utho!!..."
he shook her.....

"r..raj...woh nahi uthegi..."
navin closed his eyes in despair...

"oh god!!..hospital...
we need to take her to the hospital...
jaldi karo...
tazz baahar hai na...
c'mon.."
he picked her up.....

"r.raj..."
navin cried...his hands submerging his face...
"g..guys..stop him..."

the others..wiping their tears
rushed behind him....

"ruk ja dost..."

"raj stop!"

"listen to us atleast..."

"tazz..drive..jaldi...
naina ko hospital pahunchaana hai..."

she looked at the others
who'd assembled next to him...
and shook their heads ..
tears fallin down steadily...

she gave out a shriek..........
"naina!!!..nia!....
nanoo kahaan hai?...."
she felt her heart would fail any second...

.....................

a month later.....

raj walked alone along the riverside....
in a trance.....

only his friends knew how they'd controlled him...

initially it was all about injections...
he had been hospitalised....for the first two days...

but later..it became tougher...

at home..he'd get up at night...
sleep-walkng...
and then hit himself hard against walls..

tumble down the stairs....
blessing God for the pain he'd feel...

he would be found early next morning ..wounded...
and they'd all cry for him...

but not a tear dropped from his eyes...
and he didn't speak to anyone....

then came days wen he'd shriek..scream..
break everything around in desperation...
& sheer loneliness.....

finally...he broke down....
and everyone knew he'd begun to cure...

"usse akela mat chodna...
raj needs us...just like nanoo...."
tehzeeb told yudi..huda and aalekh...

navin was in no better shape...
his diet was nil...but..
the only thing that truly pinched him..

was the fact..that inspite of being alive for so long...
he hadn't been there for her sister in her last moments....

he was mistaken for he felt that
she didn't know he was alive....

unaware..dat she did.....but she'd had to leave....

today a month later...

navin asks his wife.....
"tehzeeb...raj kahaan hai?
kal se kuch nahi khaaya usne..."

"har do din baad do din bhookha rehta hai....

he needs a new mission...
he needs to get back into the force.....
main laati hoon...."

after awhile...she came down...
worried.....
"navin...i can't find him...
poora ghar chaan liya!"

"oh no!...
i told everyone to keep an eye on him!!

usne khud ko kuch...find him!!...
abhi!..huda!..yudi!....neeche aao sab...."

HE WAS FURIOUS!!

they all went out to ....
.......................................

he walked along the shore...

they were all in haridwaar....

the water touched his ankles....

"love overcomes all obstacles...
kitna bada jhooth hai yeh....

woh kehte hain...
tumhaare saath bitaaye hue acche pal yaad
karoon..
arrey kaun kambakht kabhi bhula paayega unhe..

har taraf tumhaare nishaan hain...

tum mere andar ho...meri parchaai mein...
meri hansi...mere aansoo..sab tum ho....

zindagi chal rahi hai...
aur shaayad...humesha chalti rahegi...

zameen..aasmaan..sab wahi rahenge...
bas..main..main badal jaaoonga...

zindagi theher si gayi hai...

har pal kaatna..
100 maut ke baraabar ho gaya hai...
aur woh kehte hai ki jeena hoga....

kaise ....kaise?????????"

tears trickled down his eyes......

Zindagi mein koyi kabhi aaye na rabba
Aaye jo koyi toh phir jaaye na rabba...

Dene ho gar mujhe baad mein aansoo?
Toh pehele koyi hasaaye na rabba.....

Jaate jaate koyi meri khushiyon ko le gaya
Suni suni akhiyon ko gham, koyi de gaya...

Aas jo lagaayi hai, aankh bhar aayi hai
Itna bhi koyi, sataaye na rabba...

Dil lene waale pe zor nahin chalta..
Pyaar ka ye sikka, kahin aur nahin chalta..
Yaad teri aayi hai, tu harjaai hai ..

itna bhi koi tadpaaye na rabba..........

ganges is a brillaint river...
it's given so much to us...

some pray here...
some get married at it's footsteps....

ghar hai yeh bhagwaan ka..mandir hai...

aur aaj..maine...tumhe yahaan samaa diya....

aisi zindagi jee kar main kya karoonga jaan...
i don't want to be a survivor....

love...joy..happiness..
pain..disaster...grief...
kyon sahoon main akele?

saath chaahiye mujhe tumhaara...

deserted...withdrawn..dat's how he felt....
her death had caused a veil
to drop over the world....

everything was alien...the sounds...

he stopped a moment to listen..
but his mind couldn't comprehend them.....

he looked all around.....
trying to see what future had in store....

but he found himself looking into the past...
trying to understand...why it was being done to him....

why did she have to go???

why did she have to leave him???

why did he feel..dat the world had ended????

where are you....?
kahaan ho tum.....?

Do, pal ruka, khwaabon ka kaarvaan
Aur phir, chal diye, tum kahaan, ham kahaan ..

Do pal ki thi, ye dilon ki daastaan ...
Aur phir chal diye, tum kahaan, ham kahaan ...

Tum the ke thi koyi ujli kiran ...
Tum the ya koyi kali muskaayi thi ...

Tum the ya tha sapnon ka tha saawan ..
Tum the ke khushiyon ki ghata chhaayi thi ...

Tum the ke tha koyi phool khila ...
Tum the ya mila tha mujhe naya jahaan ...

"raaaaaj!!!!!..."
they were all at the coast...
shouting,..searching....

"woh aa rahein hai...
ek baar phir humme alag karne ke liye....
par main nahi jaaoonga naina...

i promised you..
i'll come to you.....
and i will......."

"woh raha!!....shit!!!...he's going in...
ruk raj!!!"
navin screamed.....

"behen ko kho chuka hoon
..bhaai ko nahi kho sakta..."

lots of bells were heard...
as he stepped into the raging river...
slowly..calm..peaceful....

they were all running....
screaming..wailing..

but all raj saw..was his wife's arms...
calling out to him..
and he smiled....

"tum hamesha yahin thi na....
next to me..."

"of course jaan...chalo...
we'll be together.....forever"

Tum the aa khushboo hawaaon mein thi ...
Tum the ya rang saari dishaaon mein the ..

Tum the ya roshni raahon mein thi ..
Tum the ya geet goonje fizaaon mein the ..

Tum the mile ya mili thi manzilein ..
Tum the ke tha jaadoo bhara koyi sama ..

Do pal ruka, khwaabon ka kaarvaan ..
Aur phir chal diye, tum kahaan, ham kahaan ...
Do pal ki thi, ye dilon ki daastaan ..
Aur phir chal diye, tum kahaan, ham kahaan ...

"woh raha...shit!!..he's..."

they all saw his body submerging into the river..

and broke into a run..
hoping to save him....

hoping they weren't late...

but within...they all knew the truth....

they were late....
and even if he was alive...he was dead.....!

bas..do pal ki thi..

YEH DILON KI DASTAAN...........

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@388456 Hibernated

Posted: 14 years ago

I write this comment as a tear is trickling down my cheek.......i have no words.....speechless........ i loved the earlier ending but this one can just not be compared......if u ask me i will say the earlier ending was better but maybe because we all want happy endings......this very fact biases my opinion.....maybe i am human to want the earlier ending but i guess this end will be etched in my mind for a long time to come...........

And as this fic ends here, i would like u tell that it feels like losing a friend.....waiting for its update was equivalent to waiting for ur best friend's call who is about to tell u a secret.............hehe.....

Do come up soon with a new Fanfic......i am now kinda used to expecting ur PMs of update..........

And finally MARVELLOUS work......u r a brilliant writer......[i know i must be just one of the many who would think the same.....but still why not express it!!!!!!!]

luv,

Rajita........

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Priya @Sweet-Lioness IF-Rockerz Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

veri nicely writtin by Deepika...!!! 👏

par mujhe pahlewala end jyada achha laga tha...!😊!! kyoun ki is end se dukh hua...!!! vaise bhi real LRL baht dukh de chuka hai dear...!!! 😭

yeh last ending ud bhaaaat achha tha...magar sad ending se dard hota hai na...!!! is se to yahi laga na...ki itne sacrifices k baad bhi raj aur naina ko kuch nahin mila...!!! 😭

isiliye mai is k first option se baht khush hun...!!! mujhe first end jo tum ne post kiya tha...vo baht acha laga...thanx😊

Deepika se kahna...jaldi aur ek fic start kare...aur haan...us ka bhi ending...happy happy hona chahiye...!!!😊

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gazal @gazal_sameer Senior Member Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by sweet.dreamz

Do come up soon with a new Fanfic......i am now kinda used to expecting ur PMs of update..........

And finally MARVELLOUS work......u r a brilliant writer......[i know i must be just one of the many who would think the same.....but still why not express it!!!!!!!]

luv,

Rajita........

thanks alot rajita

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gazal @gazal_sameer Senior Member Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by srojaleen

veri nicely writtin by Deepika...!!! 👏

par mujhe pahlewala end jyada achha laga tha...!😊!! kyoun ki is end se dukh hua...!!! vaise bhi real LRL baht dukh de chuka hai dear...!!! 😭

yeh last ending ud bhaaaat achha tha...magar sad ending se dard hota hai na...!!! is se to yahi laga na...ki itne sacrifices k baad bhi raj aur naina ko kuch nahin mila...!!! 😭

isiliye mai is k first option se baht khush hun...!!! mujhe first end jo tum ne post kiya tha...vo baht acha laga...thanx😊

Deepika se kahna...jaldi aur ek fic start kare...aur haan...us ka bhi ending...happy happy hona chahiye...!!!😊

ok i ,ll send ur message to dipika

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sweet_shona @sweet_shona Senior Member

Posted: 14 years ago

phewww....thank god maine ye ff ek baar mein padha..else pata nahi kitne heart attacks aa jaate..!!!!..hehehe... just awesome...
fantastic ff...obviously liked the first end..
hope u start a new ff.... 😊

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