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I badly need advice....

love_hate Groupbie
love_hate
love_hate

Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 87

Posted: 03 October 2007 at 4:23am | IP Logged
hi, I m new here....I m really disturbed nw-adays..so badly need suggesion...I was madly in love with 1of my teacher in my college life....it was so serious feelings frm my side tht I even did bad in my xam...un4tunately I cudnt mk th person realize my feeligs.it is about 4 years back story...sm hw my love turned into hate...nw though I dont love or mis tht person bt still cudnt 4get th event, my 'past' love, th memory etc....I m a 23 years girl nw...my parents r nw-a-days damm serious bout my marraige...some ppl r coming 2 c in my home 2 c me after th day of 'eid'....nw no1 is in my life, bt I m still nt prepared 2 get married...I just cant think bout this..I cant allow 2 touch any guy (th so-called huband)....I cant do my 'bahu-duty'...I just cant....of course I respect marriage bt I want to get into it after my graduation wh will end after 1 yrs...bt parents logic is if thr is no 1 in my life thn whs th prob!! they r desparate 2 get me married...btw, th proposal is withim frm my relatives and I dont want to get married in my relatives..I cant bt 4get my past feelings..I think I dont hv th energy 2 gv love 2 sm1 nw...I dont undesd nw wh sud I do as I m failing 2 mk my parents undesd my viws...

gys, pls suggest me...wh sud I do??????????/ I think I ll do swicide if th situation continus like ths....I m nt able to get involve in marr rite nw....

usha_pooja IF-Dazzler
usha_pooja
usha_pooja

Joined: 11 October 2006
Posts: 4866

Posted: 03 October 2007 at 6:06am | IP Logged
Hi Love hate,

my advise is to tell them that you are not ready for marriage and tell them you are not ready. And Please do not commit SUICIDE SINCE ITS SUCH A COWARD THING TO DO!!!!!!! Also, if your parents ask why well, explain in a way which, they are able to understand. But, in a calm way but only do this when they are calm, not busy and really wanting to listen to you. You must explain it calmly but, only tell them whenever you are ready.

I realise how serious you are my close friend was in the same situation. But now they have distance yourself. Therefore, I will advise you to distance yourself from him and avoid him and dont get married yet.

Edited by usha_pooja - 03 October 2007 at 6:08am
cool_pooja IF-Sizzlerz
cool_pooja
cool_pooja

Joined: 22 January 2005
Posts: 12911

Posted: 03 October 2007 at 9:17am | IP Logged
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Cute_Tulip IF-Sizzlerz

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Joined: 11 February 2005
Posts: 10118

Posted: 03 October 2007 at 12:41pm | IP Logged
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tukz_REmix IF-Rockerz
tukz_REmix
tukz_REmix

Joined: 18 April 2007
Posts: 6160

Posted: 04 October 2007 at 1:29am | IP Logged
i thnk dere only one solution 2 dis(atleats 2 me)talk wid our parents openly n clearly...tel dem abt ur problems n evrythn am sure dey wil understand
Angeleyes 2 IF-Sizzlerz
Angeleyes 2
Angeleyes 2

Joined: 02 June 2005
Posts: 11466

Posted: 04 October 2007 at 2:49pm | IP Logged

Like everyone says DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE.

I think every parents wants the best for their children. Sit clamly and talk to them. Find out why they want u to get married in a rush.

Please don't say u can't do certain things because u never know wat ur capable of doing until u try.

Love_hate everyone has a past! and everyone can sit and talk about how a guy had hurt them or how a girl had hurt them, as much u may find it hard to let go now, dear it seems like the stronger ur gabbing on to your past without knowing. not because of a past u will forget your whole life that ahead of u!

Maybe this teacher guy already moved on, maybe he doesn't think about it as much as u do.

I would say if u don't wana get married rite now, just tell your parents. Maybe you and this guy can keep in contact and u can even get to know about this guy such as his likes, his dislikes, fav music and so on.

Gradually you will feel different and then u can decide if thats the "one" for u.

Remember life is not a fairy tale, u can't sit and wait for Prince Charming but u have give life a chance to find him.

 

Miss.Colorfull IF-Sizzlerz
Miss.Colorfull
Miss.Colorfull

Joined: 12 August 2006
Posts: 11578

Posted: 04 October 2007 at 8:47pm | IP Logged
just talk to ur parents alone only ur parents and u that u are not ready for marriage yet and even if they get u married then ur marriage life is not going to be good so it,s better to let u married when u want to. tlak to ur parents i am sure they will uinderstand ur feelings
-Mystery- IF-Sizzlerz
-Mystery-
-Mystery-

Joined: 31 August 2007
Posts: 20130

Posted: 04 October 2007 at 9:06pm | IP Logged
The best thing you can do is confront your parents friendly.  Just let them know that you cannot and will not get married at this time.  If you are comfortable in sharing the story about your love for your professor, then don't share it with them but just let them know that you just can't get married at this time - you are busy with life and studies.  Let them know that what's the point of marrying when you'll not be able to build a successful relationship.  You are just not ready for marriage.  No one can forcefully get you married.  That can't happen and be upfront about it.  Tell you parents that you need some time as you said like a year.  And tell them that whenever you are ready you'll let them know.  Don't forget to also let them know that you don't want to get married within relatives just so that all things are clear and upfront.  You just a need a healthy, upfront discussion with your parents.

Hopefully everything will work out.  All the best.
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