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mermaid_QT

IF-Sizzlerz

mermaid_QT

Joined: 25 September 2005

Posts: 11613

Posted: 26 September 2007 at 12:19pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by rutumodi915

Originally posted by mermaid_QT

yes.. dream and wake up to realize them Smile

Yes, as simple as that!! Smile

You can't just dream about being an astronaut and go into a Arts college and get a home-science degree.

LOL   Rutu, what an analogy! You cracked me up with that! 

Once you dream, you have to get down to vigorous planning - both short-term and long-term and it is in an individual's hands to go all out to puruse your dreams. If your dream is something that you relaly want and would not hurt near and dear ones, then why not follow it?  Of course, one should!!

and this part is very true .. very very true!  I always remember what my husband once told me.  Never feel bad that struggle doesn't seem to end.  Very few fortunate ones are given the strength to follow their dreams, and to struggle to realize them. 
Even today, so many women fail to dream of becoming somebody. I feel sad for them especially if their parents had the financial ability to teach them to dream and to help them fullfill those..
Have you read Jonatahn Livingston Seagull?  It is my bible!   I am sure you'll love it.  

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lighthouse

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lighthouse

Joined: 18 January 2006

Posts: 2842

Posted: 26 September 2007 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by raj5000

We have head from people:

1. Am living my dream!    Tongue

2. Achieved what I Dream about!  Confused

3. If one doesn't dream about something, nothing is acheiveable. Thumbs Down  Not always true.. Most of the times good and bad things happen without you having to lift a finger or whether one deserves it or not..

4. Dream do come true.  Wink  Make reality you live in true. 

5. Never even dreamt of what I achieved today. Big smile Never dreamt that I would be married by 20..

Very simple debate :

Should one follow his/her dreams or pursue his/her  career to accomplish more realistic goals in life? Do what makes you happy but never underestimate power of money.Wink  

lighthouse

IF-Dazzler

lighthouse

Joined: 18 January 2006

Posts: 2842

Posted: 26 September 2007 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by raj5000

Very simple debate :

Should one follow his/her dreams or pursue his/her  career to accomplish more realistic goals in life?

 Interestig article..

Psychology: Why Quitting is Good for You

New research finds that people who give up on unattainable goals are physically and mentally healthier than 'bulldogs' who persevere against all odds. The importance of knowing when to throw in the towel.

by Wray Herbert

Special to Newsweek

Updated: 5:09 p.m. ET Sept 20, 2007

Sept. 20, 2007 - America has been imbued since its founding with a persevering spirit. From Ben Franklin to Horatio Alger to Rocky Balboa, the culture bombards us—children especially—with messages about the value of determination and grit in the face of adversity. This ethos is perhaps best captured in the enduring 19th-century maxim, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

It's hard to argue with such an affirmative sentiment. And no wonder this never-say-die attitude has made such an appealing plot line for dime novels and Hollywood . But is it really good psychology? Or might there be times when it's better to simply give up?

Psychologists have been exploring this question, and more specifically a possible link between tenacity and both physical and mental health. It would seem on the face of it that persistence would be tonic over the long haul; hanging tough should increase the odds that you'll succeed, and personal success is closely linked to well-being. But what if the goal is extremely unlikely? Like an infertile couple conceiving a child? Or an average high-school sprinter becoming an Olympic gold-medalist? Is there a point of diminishing returns beyond which one failure after another takes a health toll? When does an admirable trait like perseverance start to look more like beating your head against the wall?

To test this in the laboratory, psychologists Gregory Miller and Carsten Wrosch developed a psychological instrument that can reliably distinguish between people who are relentless by nature and those who are much more accepting of life's curveballs. For simplicity, let's call them the Bulldogs and the Quitters. In a series of experiments the psychologists have exhaustively studied these two personality types to see how healthy and well adjusted they are.

And the answer is plain: Quitters are healthier than Bulldogs by almost every measure. For example, in one study the psychologists looked at everything from indigestion and diarrhea to skin disorders, poor sleep and headaches. Quitters suffered less than Bulldogs across the full range of maladies. Further, the Bulldogs' stress hormones were much more likely to be out of whack, indicating that they are in a state of chronic stress. And in a new study, published in the September issue of Psychological Science, the psychologists followed teenagers for a full year. Over that time the Quitters had much lower levels of a protein called CRP, an indicator of bodily inflammation. Inflammation has recently been linked to several serious diseases, including diabetes and heart disease, suggesting that healthy but tenacious teens may already be on the road toward chronic illness later in life.

But knowing when to throw in the towel is only half the story. The psychologists also sorted both the Bulldogs and the Quitters by their willingness to re-engage and set new goals after they gave up on something important. While they did not find a direct link between re-engagement and physical health, they did find that people who readily jumped back into life had a greater sense of purpose and mastery and were less likely to ruminate about the past. Setting new goals appears to buffer the emotional consequences of failure, especially for those, like the Bulldogs, who have the hardest time admitting defeat.

So what is it that makes the most tenacious Bulldogs finally say, OK, I've had it? Paradoxically, it appears that the pathway to health may be through melancholy. Think of it this way: People who simply will not or cannot give up an impossible dream eventually get emotionally defeated by their Sisyphean task. Some get clinically depressed, but many others just shut down; they become pessimistic, passive, physically and mentally depleted. This dysphoria is what allows them—forces them, really—to stop and reassess. It's said that depressed people have a more realistic view of the world, and in fact some evolutionary psychologists now believe that depression may have had survival value when we were evolving on the savannahs. Depression is what told our bodies to slow down and take stock of the situation, be cautious, don't dis the silverback. Today a little melancholy might help us give up on that Olympic gold, and in the long run avoid killers like diabetes and heart disease.

It's important to strive. For young people, setting lofty goals, and then scaling them back, is the crux of forging an identity in the world. As people age they are forced to make tradeoffs, to abandon dreams of an illustrious career or the picture-perfect marriage. We all abandon life goals. The only question is whether we make our life adjustments with grace and good timing. The misanthropic comedian W.C. Fields anticipated much of this science when he cleverly revised that 19th-century maxim about perseverance: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again," he said. "Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20894499/site/newsweek/page/2/

Cute_Tulip

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Posted: 26 September 2007 at 1:56pm | IP Logged
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...M...

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Posted: 26 September 2007 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
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season915

Goldie

season915

Joined: 01 May 2007

Posts: 1299

Posted: 26 September 2007 at 2:25pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by mermaid_QT

Originally posted by rutumodi915

Originally posted by mermaid_QT

yes.. dream and wake up to realize them Smile

Yes, as simple as that!! Smile

You can't just dream about being an astronaut and go into a Arts college and get a home-science degree.

LOL   Rutu, what an analogy! You cracked me up with that! 

Once you dream, you have to get down to vigorous planning - both short-term and long-term and it is in an individual's hands to go all out to puruse your dreams. If your dream is something that you relaly want and would not hurt near and dear ones, then why not follow it?  Of course, one should!!

and this part is very true .. very very true!  I always remember what my husband once told me.  Never feel bad that struggle doesn't seem to end.  Very few fortunate ones are given the strength to follow their dreams, and to struggle to realize them. 
Even today, so many women fail to dream of becoming somebody. I feel sad for them especially if their parents had the financial ability to teach them to dream and to help them fullfill those..
Have you read Jonatahn Livingston Seagull?  It is my bible!   I am sure you'll love it.  

lol@ the analogy. The astronaut ambition may be exagerrated but I have definitely seen people who go into commerce, start their B.Com and then boast about becoming a CA in next three years, while not studying at all. What usually astonishes me is the ease with which people talk about their dreams to others. Personally, I do not talk to people about my plans and aspirations with the fear of being mocked at if I can't fulfill them Disapprove. I really wonder how people do nothing and still boast with no shame. Confused

@underlined: An example comes to my mind. I was in 8th grade and I was talking to a few friends about future ambitions. As children, everyone has a dream of becoming a doctor, nurse, engineer, actress, air hostess, etc etc. one girl blushes and says that I just want to be a house-wife Shocked. I was shocked and I still am to have heard that from a 12 year old girl. There are girls who have dreams and are unable to pursue them due to societal problems, and that is okay sometimes. But to want to be a house-wife when you are 12 is DeadDeadDead

And no, I have not read your bible yet Embarrassed.. but will try and find it in the library! Smile



Edited by rutumodi915 - 26 September 2007 at 2:26pm

mermaid_QT

IF-Sizzlerz

mermaid_QT

Joined: 25 September 2005

Posts: 11613

Posted: 26 September 2007 at 3:33pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Maya_M

One should never cease to dream. Following a dream depends a lot on circumstances so there is no definite Yes or No. Ideally I would say that one should always follow the dream and strive to achieve it. But there are times when circumstances are not in favor and one should not get disheartened and move on, may be to another dream or just postpone the previous oneSmile. Always better to achieve dreams following the right path so a little delay shouldn't matter.

As a child one story which inspired me was 'Robert Bruce and The Spider'. this thread reminded me of it againSmile.


I second that!!

One should also dream wisely in order not to reach cuckooland for shattered dreams.  Now how hard is that?  At 5 feet 3, if I aspire to be world-class ramp model, ofcourse I will be shattered no matter how much I strive! Wink..  
There are so many things physically challenged people can dream of and achieve, but then there are certain things they simply cannot dream of.  I would say the same things regarding certain professions requiring outstanding intellectual capacities!  Those dreams are not for all either.. 
To assess oneself and dream on and strive to achieve the goals is what life is about..

Dream wisely, ASSESS the progress, AMEND as per the requirements, but never QUIT "dreaming and setting higher goals andc thriving".


Edited by mermaid_QT - 26 September 2007 at 3:34pm

persistence

Goldie

persistence

Joined: 11 August 2005

Posts: 1779

Posted: 26 September 2007 at 10:26pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by lighthouse

Originally posted by raj5000

Very simple debate :

Should one follow his/her dreams or pursue his/her  career to accomplish more realistic goals in life?

 Interestig article..

Psychology: Why Quitting is Good for You

New research finds that people who give up on unattainable goals are physically and mentally healthier than 'bulldogs' who persevere against all odds. The importance of knowing when to throw in the towel.

by Wray Herbert

Special to Newsweek

Updated: 5:09 p.m. ET Sept 20, 2007

Sept. 20, 2007 - America has been imbued since its founding with a persevering spirit. From Ben Franklin to Horatio Alger to Rocky Balboa, the culture bombards us—children especially—with messages about the value of determination and grit in the face of adversity. This ethos is perhaps best captured in the enduring 19th-century maxim, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

It's hard to argue with such an affirmative sentiment. And no wonder this never-say-die attitude has made such an appealing plot line for dime novels and Hollywood . But is it really good psychology? Or might there be times when it's better to simply give up?

Psychologists have been exploring this question, and more specifically a possible link between tenacity and both physical and mental health. It would seem on the face of it that persistence would be tonic over the long haul; hanging tough should increase the odds that you'll succeed, and personal success is closely linked to well-being. But what if the goal is extremely unlikely? Like an infertile couple conceiving a child? Or an average high-school sprinter becoming an Olympic gold-medalist? Is there a point of diminishing returns beyond which one failure after another takes a health toll? When does an admirable trait like perseverance start to look more like beating your head against the wall?

To test this in the laboratory, psychologists Gregory Miller and Carsten Wrosch developed a psychological instrument that can reliably distinguish between people who are relentless by nature and those who are much more accepting of life's curveballs. For simplicity, let's call them the Bulldogs and the Quitters. In a series of experiments the psychologists have exhaustively studied these two personality types to see how healthy and well adjusted they are.

And the answer is plain: Quitters are healthier than Bulldogs by almost every measure. For example, in one study the psychologists looked at everything from indigestion and diarrhea to skin disorders, poor sleep and headaches. Quitters suffered less than Bulldogs across the full range of maladies. Further, the Bulldogs' stress hormones were much more likely to be out of whack, indicating that they are in a state of chronic stress. And in a new study, published in the September issue of Psychological Science, the psychologists followed teenagers for a full year. Over that time the Quitters had much lower levels of a protein called CRP, an indicator of bodily inflammation. Inflammation has recently been linked to several serious diseases, including diabetes and heart disease, suggesting that healthy but tenacious teens may already be on the road toward chronic illness later in life.

But knowing when to throw in the towel is only half the story. The psychologists also sorted both the Bulldogs and the Quitters by their willingness to re-engage and set new goals after they gave up on something important. While they did not find a direct link between re-engagement and physical health, they did find that people who readily jumped back into life had a greater sense of purpose and mastery and were less likely to ruminate about the past. Setting new goals appears to buffer the emotional consequences of failure, especially for those, like the Bulldogs, who have the hardest time admitting defeat.

So what is it that makes the most tenacious Bulldogs finally say, OK, I've had it? Paradoxically, it appears that the pathway to health may be through melancholy. Think of it this way: People who simply will not or cannot give up an impossible dream eventually get emotionally defeated by their Sisyphean task. Some get clinically depressed, but many others just shut down; they become pessimistic, passive, physically and mentally depleted. This dysphoria is what allows them—forces them, really—to stop and reassess. It's said that depressed people have a more realistic view of the world, and in fact some evolutionary psychologists now believe that depression may have had survival value when we were evolving on the savannahs. Depression is what told our bodies to slow down and take stock of the situation, be cautious, don't dis the silverback. Today a little melancholy might help us give up on that Olympic gold, and in the long run avoid killers like diabetes and heart disease.

It's important to strive. For young people, setting lofty goals, and then scaling them back, is the crux of forging an identity in the world. As people age they are forced to make tradeoffs, to abandon dreams of an illustrious career or the picture-perfect marriage. We all abandon life goals. The only question is whether we make our life adjustments with grace and good timing. The misanthropic comedian W.C. Fields anticipated much of this science when he cleverly revised that 19th-century maxim about perseverance: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again," he said. "Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20894499/site/newsweek/page/2/



I AGREE with the article.

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