Joined: 04 July 2007
A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.
''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''
The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?''
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''
''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your thinking.''
None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,
but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-
just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
the sorry bas***d who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you.
9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".
Joined: 23 July 2006
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Joined: 10 November 2006
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