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Secrets between husband and wife (Page 3)

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nitasuni

Senior Member

nitasuni

Joined: 08 August 2007

Posts: 850

Posted: 13 September 2007 at 6:53am | IP Logged
Originally posted by JhoomBJhoom

Do you believe that there should be everything open between husband and wife for a successful marriage?  Sometime too much openness creates problems also. 

 . In my experience there is no problem upto this ., serious issues must be discussed.A big no  no to secrecy in married life.

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syrene

Goldie

syrene

Joined: 08 October 2005

Posts: 1653

Posted: 13 September 2007 at 7:08am | IP Logged
A man should reveal all his secrets and keep nothing hidden form his wife. A woman on the other hand is allowed a few secrets as this only adds to her mystery and allure Wink .

season915

Goldie

season915

Joined: 01 May 2007

Posts: 1299

Posted: 13 September 2007 at 8:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ChameliKaYaar

Originally posted by rutumodi915

Originally posted by mermaid_QT

nope.. absolutely not. The security and comfort of relation is what you gain from trading CARELESS freedom of a single person.

Any IMP things that could influence FUTURE HAPPINESS of a family MUST be shared.

Small things could be hidden if they cause un-necessary negativity. Hiding should not involve deceiptfulness and hurtful behaviour, that can affect the spouse.


I don't have experience, but this sounds about right. Little little things cause needless trouble, and I remember my parents hiding such things from each other LOLLOL
BTW QTdi, is topic se yaad aaya... aapni wo coffee ka subscription cancel karvaya ya nahi? Embarrassed

And the needles are very PRICKLYLOLLOLLOL.. So let me understand... Parents hid from each other but you knew itWinkLOL... isey kehte hain ghar ke andar ka bhediya (the informer not wolf...)..LOL

ROFL Kahan kahan se baatein laate hai aap? LOL

Hum jaise sidhe sade log simple comment karte hai, aur aap ho ki use kahan se kahan le jaate ho LOL

But yeah, I would know those little little things which my parents would hide from each other. Usually, I would give out mom's secrets to dad but I did not do vice versa Embarrassed. I am a total Daddy's girl Smile. But what made my mom go nuts was when dad would bring all this junk food from outside when dinner was ready. Later we stopped telling her and ate it before she knew about it LOLLOL.

Going back to the topic, hiding these little things does no harm to a relationship but if you hide something substantial and if later the spouse finds out, it can lead to needful (not NEEDLESs) trouble Embarrassed



Edited by rutumodi915 - 13 September 2007 at 8:23am

season915

Goldie

season915

Joined: 01 May 2007

Posts: 1299

Posted: 13 September 2007 at 8:22am | IP Logged

Originally posted by syrene

A man should reveal all his secrets and keep nothing hidden form his wife. A woman on the other hand is allowed a few secrets as this only adds to her mystery and allure Wink .

You have no idea how much I agree with you on this one LOL

nitasuni

Senior Member

nitasuni

Joined: 08 August 2007

Posts: 850

Posted: 13 September 2007 at 8:50am | IP Logged
Going back to the topic, hiding these little things does no harm to a relationship but if you hide something substantial and if later the spouse finds out, it can lead to needful (not NEEDLESs) trouble


I agree with you. But, some simple, not so serious issues may cause problems if the husband is so dominating. I know examples.   

Edited by nitasuni - 13 September 2007 at 8:50am

season915

Goldie

season915

Joined: 01 May 2007

Posts: 1299

Posted: 13 September 2007 at 8:53am | IP Logged

Originally posted by nitasuni

Originally posted by rutumodi915

Going back to the topic, hiding these little things does no harm to a relationship but if you hide something substantial and if later the spouse finds out, it can lead to needful (not NEEDLESs) trouble



I agree with you. But, some simple, not so serious issues may cause problems if the husband is so dominating. I know examples.   

I agree with you nitasuni. There is no solution to those dominating un-understanding men who demand to know every little thing that their wife does. Those cases are just sad, and I don't know how those relationships work Confused 



Edited by rutumodi915 - 13 September 2007 at 8:53am

mermaid_QT

IF-Sizzlerz

mermaid_QT

Joined: 25 September 2005

Posts: 11613

Posted: 13 September 2007 at 10:27am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rutumodi915

Originally posted by nitasuni

Originally posted by rutumodi915

Going back to the topic, hiding these little things does no harm to a relationship but if you hide something substantial and if later the spouse finds out, it can lead to needful (not NEEDLESs) trouble

I agree with you. But, some simple, not so serious issues may cause problems if the husband is so dominating. I know examples.   

I agree with you nitasuni. There is no solution to those dominating un-understanding men who demand to know every little thing that their wife does. Those cases are just sad, and I don't know how those relationships work Confused 

very often, the suppressed finds a love-interest outside and hides till she/he can.  The couple stays, but have no real relationship.  This unfortunately is more common than we all would think / like it to be.
  
I used to think that education would teach such people better aspect of social behaviour, but ended up meeting with an assistant professor in a very reputed engineering school who shattered my belief by almost running two households Dead..
Nagging, interfering, pushy (dominating) wife has made him bored, bold and brazen enough to catch a single woman- his tech assistant, someone herself with a masters' degree, also known as his work-wife.  Real wife is not educated, but he is!  What is he thinking??   I would like to know what happens when they're caught..

PS- thanks to everyone above.  i appreciate the positive response and comments Smile



Edited by mermaid_QT - 13 September 2007 at 10:28am

lighthouse

IF-Dazzler

lighthouse

Joined: 18 January 2006

Posts: 2842

Posted: 13 September 2007 at 10:31am | IP Logged
Originally posted by JhoomBJhoom

Do you believe that there should be everything open between husband and wife for a successful marriage?  Sometime too much openness creates problems also. 

 Secrets are not possible as the female species can never keep a secret..Wink

 Having said that I agree with Raj that every lil detail does not have to be shared plus who has time to trade daily hum drum details when both are so busy with work/home/kids etc?.  Maintaining individuality is a challenge but must be done for the sake of sanity and appeal. One must be an individual first and then a spouse.  Over all trust is the most important aspect of a marriage and it is unhealthy if a partner needs to know everything one does or talks to. . As long as the common goal of spending life together is not distorted , details are just not that important which can create unnecassary suspicions..  Some husbands like to keep tabs on finances upto the last penny that wife spends and some wives keep tabs on his spending, phonecalls/emails. I feel after being thru this sort of rigidity during teenage years with parents and feeling untrustworthy , it is not a good idea to put your life partner thru the same thing imo. Besides a happy person makes a happy partner..!!!!Tongue

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