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Secrets between husband and wife

JhoomBJhoom Groupbie
JhoomBJhoom
JhoomBJhoom

Joined: 06 July 2007
Posts: 85

Posted: 12 September 2007 at 2:31pm | IP Logged

Do you believe that there should be everything open between husband and wife for a successful marriage?  Sometime too much openness creates problems also. 

mermaid_QT IF-Sizzlerz
mermaid_QT
mermaid_QT

Joined: 25 September 2005
Posts: 11613

Posted: 12 September 2007 at 2:43pm | IP Logged
nope.. absolutely not. The security and comfort of relation is what you gain from trading CARELESS freedom of a single person.

Any IMP things that could influence FUTURE HAPPINESS of a family MUST be shared.

Small things could be hidden if they cause un-necessary negativity. Hiding should not involve deceiptfulness and hurtful behaviour, that can affect the spouse.

Edited by mermaid_QT - 12 September 2007 at 2:46pm
JhoomBJhoom Groupbie
JhoomBJhoom
JhoomBJhoom

Joined: 06 July 2007
Posts: 85

Posted: 12 September 2007 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
I fully agree with Mermaid QT. Too much openness can be used by either one against each other in case of some sort of arguement. Sometime it is very difficult to decide which one is to keep quiet and which one is to be discussed. Just like telling your any affair (if any) prior to marriage. If you decide to keep something secret and the other half finds out from third party and it is a point of concern then there is definately a YUDH. I think this topic can go for a good comments
raj5000 Moderator
raj5000
raj5000

Joined: 01 January 2006
Posts: 11737

Posted: 12 September 2007 at 2:58pm | IP Logged
We talked in bits and pieces about this before, unable to find the posts.Am sure my views are consistent lols.. yes I agree with QT... more.... from a lil different angle..

Every individual are entitled some kind of privacy or say personal space. When it comes to sharing each bit then there is nothing private anymore, basically loss of individuality. I agree relationships should have total transparency but there are things that do not impact the relationship negatively and can be kept private, in order to healthy relationship. For eg : something's when discussed with immediate spouses might be taken indifferently as compared to when discussed with friends for advise. Until there is no negative impact to one's relationship, something's can be private. Like I wouldn't want to share what I did with my buddy's at a game or old friends get together…waisa chupney ko kuch rahta bhi nahi hai..lolls other then overdoes of heinkin's lolsss
mermaid_QT IF-Sizzlerz
mermaid_QT
mermaid_QT

Joined: 25 September 2005
Posts: 11613

Posted: 12 September 2007 at 3:07pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by JhoomBJhoom

I fully agree with Mermaid QT. Too much openness can be used by either one against each other in case of some sort of arguement. Sometime it is very difficult to decide which one is to keep quiet and which one is to be discussed. Just like telling your any affair (if any) prior to marriage. If you decide to keep something secret and the other half finds out from third party and it is a point of concern then there is definately a YUDH. I think this topic can go for a good comments


thnx JBJ Smile..  one thing i'd like to share in response to the "thirt party coment"-  sharing past relationship i think is essential.  i unfortunately had a client whose husband was beating her..  it turned out that he had found abt her past affair from third party and that made him more aggressive.  it became harder to counsel him, becos of his accusations of her being hiding things from him all along..  beating is never justified, but even the man had a point unfortunately..  Confused..
one takes a risk by bearing it all, but one also gains trust that way!  Fair deal!  thnx again.
mermaid_QT IF-Sizzlerz
mermaid_QT
mermaid_QT

Joined: 25 September 2005
Posts: 11613

Posted: 12 September 2007 at 3:09pm | IP Logged
lol raj.. waise beer bottle ke bhi kaan hote hai Wink

loss of freedom has nothing to do with bearing secrets. real transperancy is HAVING FREEDOM in spite of not having to HIDE IT. Smile
if there is need of secret, then there is a real issue regarding encroachment of personal space by spouse the way i think!
raj5000 Moderator
raj5000
raj5000

Joined: 01 January 2006
Posts: 11737

Posted: 12 September 2007 at 3:31pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by mermaid_QT

lol raj.. waise beer bottle ke bhi kaan hote hai Wink

loss of freedom has nothing to do with bearing secrets. real transperancy is HAVING FREEDOM in spite of not having to HIDE IT. Smile
if there is need of secret, then there is a real issue regarding encroachment of personal space by spouse the way i think!

Lolss no wonder, phone per bhi pata lagg jaata hai LOL .

Where did I mention "HIDE IT" on purpose? if the want of relationship is to share each and everything then that's not right, that all am saying hereSmile. Also, if there is need of secret then that comes under impacting the relationship negativity, guess I covered this point in my responseTongue. And the mention of heinkin was just to add some humor, please don't misunderstand.Embarrassed  

mermaid_QT IF-Sizzlerz
mermaid_QT
mermaid_QT

Joined: 25 September 2005
Posts: 11613

Posted: 12 September 2007 at 3:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by raj5000

Originally posted by mermaid_QT

lol raj.. waise beer bottle ke bhi kaan hote hai Wink

loss of freedom has nothing to do with bearing secrets. real transperancy is HAVING FREEDOM in spite of not having to HIDE IT. Smile
if there is need of secret, then there is a real issue regarding encroachment of personal space by spouse the way i think!

Lolss no wonder, phone per bhi pata lagg jaata hai LOL .

Where did I mention "HIDE IT" on purpose? if the want of relationship is to share each and everything then that's not right, that all am saying hereSmile. Also, if there is need of secret then that comes under impacting the relationship negativity, guess I covered this point in my responseTongue. And the mention of heinkin was just to add some humor, please don't misunderstand.Embarrassed  



ok, apologies!  only the first part was addressing u- the beer bottle with ears.. LOLLOL  lol @ phone..

the latter was a new comment.. i goofed if it looked like responding to ur postEmbarrassed.. sowwy .  in fact, i agreed with ur post! and the quote above.


Edited by mermaid_QT - 12 September 2007 at 3:39pm

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