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Who takes care of old parents? (Page 5)

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mittijalebi

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mittijalebi

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Posted: 06 September 2007 at 12:33pm | IP Logged
thanks rutu, that was exactly my point. when parents give preference to once child (daughter) over the other (son) and then they expect the son to take care of them when they get older.

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season915

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season915

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Posted: 06 September 2007 at 12:36pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by mittijalebi

thanks rutu, that was exactly my point. when parents give preference to once child (daughter) over the other (son) and then they expect the son to take care of them when they get older.

Parents even do that when they have two sons. It is very disgraceful and disrespecting towards the gift of parenting that they have received.

mermaid_QT

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mermaid_QT

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Posted: 06 September 2007 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
I have read all the posts and this is what I think.
Some of us have grievances against parents who have in some sense failed to be parents (by being selfish, by being partial, by being unreasonable and such)
Taking care of these parents at the sake of sacrificing certain things / people / happiness is a hard task! Should the child weigh the pros and cons? Yes. Put a foot down and TAKE CARE of them, but don't get WALKED ALL OVER..   If staying together is impossible, make arrangements such that they are cared for and won't interfere, but won't be old and lonely either..

Those parents who loved unselfishly / failed to provide only due to justifiable reasons MUST be REVERED and reciprocated well.. These set of parents will never demand UNREALISTIC sacrifices anyway..

LBNTL, I personally PITY those men who believe and are trained to think that WOMAN's parents are secondary and have no rights. There must be equality. I also dislike DILs who only care for their own parents and treat MIL like dumpsters..

RETURN THE KINDNESS Embarrassed

Edited by mermaid_QT - 06 September 2007 at 1:00pm

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Posted: 06 September 2007 at 1:25pm | IP Logged
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mittijalebi

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mittijalebi

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Posted: 06 September 2007 at 1:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Maya_M

Originally posted by mittijalebi

thanks rutu, that was exactly my point. when parents give preference to once child (daughter) over the other (son) and then they expect the son to take care of them when they get older.

What is the reason of this preference? Was one child not loved or given proper education or clothing or food? Was one child not taken on any trips? What and how were the parents partial towards one kid?

Did this happen since childhood or views changed after the children got married?

i think the reason is because the son was sent to canada at a very young age (10 years old) and was raised by his uncle.  the daughter on the other hand was raised by her parents.

but now everyone is in canada and parents are still living with daughter and taking care of her kids and stuff.  whereas the son is living by himself with his wife and kids.

 

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mittijalebi

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mittijalebi

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Posted: 06 September 2007 at 2:07pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Maya_M

So may be they are going to be taken care of this daughter then or are they expecting the son to take care of them after they finish all their duties towards daughter? I don't understand why a parent would discriminate between two children? Was the son sent to Canada for better education or was it because parents were poor and couldn't take care of both so thought at least this way their son would get a better life. It is obvious that a daughter couldn't be trusted with strangers or in this care relatives. So they didn't send her.

I think every situation is different and being an outsider it is very difficult to give views on such things. The views will always be partial to the side they are listening to.

no the daughter is not going to be taking care of them because her inlaws will be living with them soon.....at that point i think the parents will be looking to their son.

to make a long story short....son was sent to canada to provide a way for the parents and sister to come to canada....which eventually did happen.

i can understand it's hard to provide an opinion about something you don't know much about....but its interesting to get an outsider's opinions as to what they think aobut the situation. Smile

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