im jealous ... (need advice)

Ok here is the problem...

There is this huge social group and my parents are a part of it. well, all the adults think im rude but im actually shy like if anyone asks me somthin i'll probably be all shy and scared of making a mistake or saying the wrong thing. Im also not that good around babies which makes everyone think im weird. I'm like really good at talking and socializing at school and stuff, but not at the gatherings, since adults, like if you say something wrong by accident, they'll spread a big rumor and stuff about you. and my friend, well she is funny and she could make a conversation with anyone, and she is like popular and everyone likes her. well, im jealous and i dont know what to do. I want to be more outgoing, but i cant.Everyone in the social group likes her and talks to her, while i wish i could.  I want to be funny and make everyone happy, but when i try, everything goes downhill. And my couzin well, he throws like a bunch of temper tantrums and stuff like that, and when i try talking to him and trying to make him kool down, he is like all attitudy and when she talks to him, he'll be all nice and all. I mean, i'm really friendly towards my family and all, and i've known my cousin for a long time, and we've been really close. Its just that.... im always misunderstood and it always seem like everyone likes her without her even trying...

what should i do? i know i sound jealous and conceited and all... but i really need some advice....

awww theres nothing wrong in being shy!! i know it must be annoying to hear this all the time but - just be yourself!its so much easier than trying to be someone who ur not!

see you can't possibly change urself completely n be like ur friend, but u can try to be more comfortable around people...
like when ur in social gatherings just relax! don't think too much about what other ppl will think about u or   w/e... be like who cares?be the way ur at school!
so what if u made a mistake while talking?..its ok!adults wont kill u and they will most definitely NOT spread a rumor if u make a mistake... i mean why would they?lolz i wonder what made u think that..
i am sure they like you too..don't try too hard.. u cant make everyone happy.. and who knows theres probably something about u that ur friend envy's if u don't have anything to say then just smile at ppl so they don't think ur being rude!and ya answer their questions!once ur comfortable around then..it will be easier for u to start a conversation!

Hey!
Don't worry!
I have the same exact problem, Im just tooo shy...But I try..
Because everyone is shy!
All you have to do is take a deep breath and say what you feel, and dont worry what they will think, because if you say what you want, people will get to know you better and things will be alright.
When those social gatherings happen, smile and if needed talk to ppl individually, and then when you get comfortable with some ppl you will b more outgoing.
Good Luck,


-Mahak-

Yeah, i agree with mahak^..you just got to say what you feel, and say it that you mean it, that way people won't say anything to you..or even dare to make fun of it.

Same as me....... I used to be like that... few months ago.....but now i've changed completely....guess how?....well there r some useful tips which were really helpful to me ....at first i wasn't confident enough to talk to people....but now i'm much more confident and i don't even say anything bad or mean.....

Some useful tips:

1.) Know urself - it is really imp. to know about urself.... caz if u r shy with urself then u probably won't be able to get along with others...................and for this all u have to do is stand infront of a mirror and start talking....u can talk about anything.... ur fav. dialogs, how to start a conversation, etc etc ..........(And i mean TALK not whisper...exactly like u talk to ur friends)....Pretend that ur image on the mirror is u...and the Person (YOU) who is standing there is someone else...and then start talking.....after u have done that take a deep breathe and relax........i'm sure that u might feel a little diff. in urself....

2.) Watch ur fav. serial or movie - lolz i know that sounds a lil funny but that helps too......like i used to watch "Jab love huais first episode" all the time....and like now-a-days i'm watching "Dil mill gaye's first episode".....caz both the first episodes were full of energy and confidence..........when i watch these two actresses saying their dialogs....i feel really jealous and i think....well if they r confident then why can't i be like them......and so i watch their face, expressions and the tone of their voice.........i mean i feel like a star...much more confident and much more smart......and i think u should try this ......

3.) Stay with ur friend: I agree that many of us get jealous when we see someone who has something which we don't have.....and i confess i'm one of them...... yes u guessed it right...... i also get jealous sometimes......but i've found a solution for this............ all u have to do is stay with ur friend who is much more confident and much more popular.........and then watch her.....Example: how she speaks, what topics she picks to start a conversation, how confident she is, etc etc...... and then slowly try to change urself..........i know that many people believes that u should not change urselves.....but i think that sometimes it is imp. to change some of ur thoughts, and views......

Thatz all hunn....... hope to see some change in urself ...... take care.....have fun.....and Keep smiling caz that is something which is the key to the success....

ok.1st u try n tok wid ur direct relatives freely...like as u say make jokes wid dem n all...confidence wil itslf grow in u nden u wil b able 2 tok 2 strangers easily too
hope dis hlpd

Wow Natasha!
Im really shy too..
Im ganna try all those tips!
ANd i think you should too!
Good Luck!

Jealousy is the cause of this whole problem!

Just be yourself...if you want to interact then do so....don't care about what they're going to think....just say what you want and be like yourself....

& if they like you for who you are then they will surely interact with you...

if you noticed that you cuz isn't shy...then don't be....maybe thats why she gets more attention....

the best solution would be --- Just be normal...there's no reason to be shy....ok?

I hope that helps! just remember - be yourself!

-Misha

Edited by Charming*Angel - 23 September 2007 at 9:22pm