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Is it myth or truth??!!!

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Vinzy

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Vinzy

Joined: 03 December 2005

Posts: 26770

Posted: 20 August 2007 at 1:37am | IP Logged

 I just wann 2 know more about NRI
who come to India to find suitable brides for them or their relations.

I wann to know what intentions they come to India, marry the gals here.
They never come back again to take their brides along with them.
They cannot imagine about the troubles their married wives have to face here.

Is it Indian parents are so desperate to get their daughters married to these so called NRIs that they do not bother to check about the person's background
(whether he is already married, has kids etc.) ...


Do they just wann to spoil the gals of their own country or they forget their values after leaving their country???

Embarrassed

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IdeaQueen

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Joined: 23 August 2006

Posts: 3152

Posted: 20 August 2007 at 9:25am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Believe

 I just wann 2 know more about NRI
who come to India to find suitable brides for them or their relations.

I wann to know what intentions they come to India, marry the gals here.
They never come back again to take their brides along with them.
They cannot imagine about the troubles their married wives have to face here.

Is it Indian parents are so desperate to get their daughters married to these so called NRIs that they do not bother to check about the person's background
(whether he is already married, has kids etc.) ...


Do they just wann to spoil the gals of their own country or they forget their values after leaving their country???

Embarrassed

Beleive ji ! Are you Ok Big smile! Do you mean to say ,some of the NRI's come to India and marry the girls and go awayBig smile! Seems you opened some consultancy in cocos islands..Big smile several girls related topics..Big smile...

Once in a blue moon there will be some case of an stupid NRI cheating a Indian girlBig smile..this is not a serious topic as this trend is not that prevalant much!

However,one needs to confirm what that NRI is doing...should check out if he is software engineer or a washerman in some NYC or should check out if he is some Appadam maker in Atlanta or Bhelpoori wala in Boston ..instead of thinking ..he works for appleBig smile or Bosch..Big smile...

More than that..some girls in India are clever....they love some one in US..parents may not accept that person..they agree to the marriage of anothe NRI seen by the parents and reach America and then by domestic flights reach their LoverBig smile,this happened to one of my far relativesROFL,that girl is really intelligentDeadLOL

Cheers,

Mythili



Edited by mythili_Kiran - 20 August 2007 at 9:27am

season915

Goldie

season915

Joined: 01 May 2007

Posts: 1299

Posted: 20 August 2007 at 9:34am | IP Logged

This marrying girls/guys from India, if you are an NRI is becoming insanely crazy and affects a lot of people in the process. Ouch

 

IMO, people who grow up in India and people who grow up elsewhere have very different wavelengths and thinking patterns and I don't think it is an easy task spending whole life with a person like this. Of course, every marriage requires adjustments and compromises but one should at least be able to figure out how the other mind works. I hate it when parents make it a necessity for girls/guys in US and elsewhere to marry someone in India, irrespective of their choice. And then, parents in India are equally despicable who want their son/daughter married to someone in America just to get hold of the Green Card.

 

Here, I can think of two instances pertaining to the topic.

 

  1. One of my dad's cousins was insanely in love with America (She had never been there, she had just heard about it) and she had made it a mission to marry a guy in America no matter what. This event goes back 20+ years and hence, there were not too many Indian people out here. Of course, the family wanted someone Gujarati at least. So, she started hunting and she finally settled for a 10 years older man. This aunt of mine was really pretty and you can not say that about her husband. There was nothing special about the guy except the fact that he had moved to America 6 years before and had a Green Card. They got married and from what I know, they are happy now. Smile

 

  1. This is a recent instance of a distant relative. Parents were eager to get their daughter married. At this time, an alliance from an ABD boy came who was apparently a radiologist. The girl wasn't educated much but really beautiful. The guy did not know how to talk in any language but English and the girl was not very efficient with English. They still agreed for the marriage and got married. The guy then left for America, after filing immigration papers for her. She went to English speaking classes and tried to mould herself so that she would be comfortable when she gets there. She then went to the US of A to find out that the husband was not a doctor as expected, but a technician. He went to church every Sunday and did not agree with Hinduism at all, creating a big difference between right then. The in-laws were really nice to her and tried covering up all the lies and mistakes of their son. She still decided to fit in, and today after a couple years, they are ready for a divorce. Ouch Both the families in this case were very well-to-do and belonged to some really wealthy and well-reputed families.

 

After being in the States for 3-4 years, I know for fact that I would never be able to adjust with ABDs. Not that anything is wrong with them, but there are way too many dissimilarities. Most of the times the ABDs are not too willing to go to India and get married but parental pressure gets better of them and they are forced to give in ruining life of more than one person. What irks me most is that girls in India still long for an imported groom. Angry The whole marrying for citizenship/GC sucks and I still fail to understand how people give up their whole lives just to be in a country away from their own. Confused

 

About one of your questions, I don't think there are that many cases of NRIs leaving the brides behind. Once in a blue moon that might happen but then brides/grooms run away from India also and it has nothing to do with NRIs. Big smile

IdeaQueen

IF-Dazzler

IdeaQueen

Joined: 23 August 2006

Posts: 3152

Posted: 20 August 2007 at 10:37am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rutumodi915

This marrying girls/guys from India, if you are an NRI is becoming insanely crazy and affects a lot of people in the process. Ouch

 

IMO, people who grow up in India and people who grow up elsewhere have very different wavelengths and thinking patterns and I don't think it is an easy task spending whole life with a person like this. Of course, every marriage requires adjustments and compromises but one should at least be able to figure out how the other mind works. I hate it when parents make it a necessity for girls/guys in US and elsewhere to marry someone in India, irrespective of their choice. And then, parents in India are equally despicable who want their son/daughter married to someone in America just to get hold of the Green Card.

Here, I can think of two instances pertaining to the topic.

  1. One of my dad's cousins was insanely in love with America (She had never been there, she had just heard about it) and she had made it a mission to marry a guy in America no matter what. This event goes back 20+ years and hence, there were not too many Indian people out here. Of course, the family wanted someone Gujarati at least. So, she started hunting and she finally settled for a 10 years older man. This aunt of mine was really pretty and you can not say that about her husband. There was nothing special about the guy except the fact that he had moved to America 6 years before and had a Green Card. They got married and from what I know, they are happy now. Smile
  1. This is a recent instance of a distant relative. Parents were eager to get their daughter married. At this time, an alliance from an ABD boy came who was apparently a radiologist. The girl wasn't educated much but really beautiful. The guy did not know how to talk in any language but English and the girl was not very efficient with English. They still agreed for the marriage and got married. The guy then left for America, after filing immigration papers for her. She went to English speaking classes and tried to mould herself so that she would be comfortable when she gets there. She then went to the US of A to find out that the husband was not a doctor as expected, but a technician. He went to church every Sunday and did not agree with Hinduism at all, creating a big difference between right then. The in-laws were really nice to her and tried covering up all the lies and mistakes of their son. She still decided to fit in, and today after a couple years, they are ready for a divorce. Ouch Both the families in this case were very well-to-do and belonged to some really wealthy and well-reputed families.

After being in the States for 3-4 years, I know for fact that I would never be able to adjust with ABDs. Not that anything is wrong with them, but there are way too many dissimilarities. Most of the times the ABDs are not too willing to go to India and get married but parental pressure gets better of them and they are forced to give in ruining life of more than one person. What irks me most is that girls in India still long for an imported groom. Angry The whole marrying for citizenship/GC sucks and I still fail to understand how people give up their whole lives just to be in a country away from their own. Confused

About one of your questions, I don't think there are that many cases of NRIs leaving the brides behind. Once in a blue moon that might happen but then brides/grooms run away from India also and it has nothing to do with NRIs. Big smile

OMG Rutu! Such a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig post Tongue...Thankyou for writing somany interesting thingsSmile!!! Are'nt the Videshi Brid(g)e grooms interestingWinkLOL? There are some special marriage cells where there have exclisively NRI alliancesLOL,I wonder how parents send and how these girls go without knowing those people! If it were some Ahemedabad we can come back easily in some plane,train! Its America and if the bride groom turns to be some moronOuch,its really tough...so it better to look for a bride groom who is in videsh and who is known to us from several yearsLOL

souro

Moderator

souro

Joined: 27 January 2007

Posts: 13865

Posted: 20 August 2007 at 10:56am | IP Logged
Originally posted by mythili_Kiran

[

More than that..some girls in India are clever....they love some one in US..parents may not accept that person..they agree to the marriage of anothe NRI seen by the parents and reach America and then by domestic flights reach their LoverBig smile,this happened to one of my far relativesROFL,that girl is really intelligentDeadLOL

Cheers,

Mythili

I agree with you, that girl is really intelligent ROFL and at the same time so disgusting.Dead

nerdynerd

Goldie

nerdynerd

Joined: 19 November 2006

Posts: 1488

Posted: 20 August 2007 at 1:19pm | IP Logged
I don't think blame can put on one side only. Girls/boys living in India can be just as stupid when marrying someone. Some of them want to go so badly, they don't check anything properly. Yes, lots of people lie like that. But it is also the person's resposibility to figure out the background and everything before marrying someone. What is the point of blaming later on? They are so hasty to marry that they don't think twice before marrying and regret it later. So, the fault is on both sides. To me it's all rather odd.

Edited by *guesswho* - 20 August 2007 at 1:22pm

angelic_devil

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Posted: 20 August 2007 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
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Vinzy

IF-Stunnerz

Vinzy

Joined: 03 December 2005

Posts: 26770

Posted: 20 August 2007 at 10:22pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by mythili_Kiran

Beleive ji ! Are you Ok Big smileall telling am ok..omg...aap ko ok nahe lagra hey kya ... Do you mean to say ,some of the NRI's come to India and marry the girls and go awayBig smile!... Seems you opened some consultancy in cocos islands..india is bestBig smile several girls related topics..Big smile...ok

Once in a blue moon there will be some case of an stupid NRI cheating a Indian girlBig smile..this is not a serious topic as this trend is not that prevalant much!

However,one needs to confirm what that NRI is doing...should check out if he is software engineer or a washerman in some NYC or should check out if he is some Appadam maker in Atlanta or Bhelpoori wala in Boston ..instead of thinking ..he works for appleBig smile or Bosch..Big smile...

More than that..some girls in India are clever....they love some one in US..parents may not accept that person..they agree to the marriage of anothe NRI seen by the parents and reach America and then by domestic flights reach their LoverBig smile,this happened to one of my far relativesROFL,that girl is really intelligentDeadLOL

Cheers,

Mythili

Expect more views...mitiliji

The fact that these marriages r governed not only by the Indian legal system but also by the far mor complex private international laws involving the legal system of the other country.

Some issues i found the women learn after the marriage tht the husband was already married in the other country to another woman, whom he continued to live with...Confused

@ritu ji....Gr8 View

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